AITA for ditching my girlfriend at a 5k because I wanted a better time?

The starting gun fires, and a sea of runners surges forward under a crisp morning sky, each step pounding toward personal triumph. For one man, a 36-year-old new to running, his first 5k race was a chance to hit a sub-27-minute goal he’d trained hard for. His girlfriend, eager to join, tagged along with a quirky “skip-gallop” plan but no training. When she faltered early, his choice to race ahead sparked a fiery fallout that left their relationship on shaky ground.

What began as a shared adventure turned into a clash of expectations, with her silent treatment and tearful accusations waiting at the finish line. The sting of abandonment and the thrill of a personal best collided, leaving him questioning if he was wrong to prioritize his goal. This story of ambition, miscommunication, and hurt feelings resonates with anyone who’s juggled personal passions with partnership.

‘AITA for ditching my girlfriend at a 5k because I wanted a better time?’

My girlfriend [31f] and I [36m] have been together for about two years now. We live together. About nine months ago I picked up running as a hobby and I have since grown quite fond of it. I currently run an average of 25 miles a week. A few months ago I decided I wanted to try a 5k or 10k, and after some Google searching found a 5k in my city that looked fun.

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I registered for it, paid the fee, and decided to start training specifically for it. I mentioned it in passing to my girlfriend that night, and she asked if she could come too. I was psyched about the idea of running a 5k with her and said yes, but warned her that she would probably want to start training because I was going for a sub-27 minute time,

which might be tough for a complete beginner. She said she would like to train with me, which, again, sounded fun. The next morning I woke up at 5am for my run as I usually do, but my girlfriend was not up for it and told me she'd go later.

This continued for a week, and then two weeks, and finally I managed to get her up once for a run. She was miserable the entire time and I basically didn't get any exercise. Last Friday, the day before the race, I asked if she was really up for it. She insisted she was.

She then told me that she would just 'skip-gallop' it, like she used to do with her mile runs in middle school. I asked her to demonstrate what a skip-gallop was, and she showed me this bizarre side-stepping gallop, as if she had casts on her legs. I told her it seemed like a really inefficient way to run, but she insisted it always worked for her.

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Saturday was the day of the race and right out of the gate she utilized her skip-gallop strategy. Two minutes in I realized that she was already completely gassed. She started asking me to wait so we could walk together. I apologized, told her I loved her, and left her behind to finish the race. I ended up with a time of 26:43, beating my goal.

After the race I tried calling her but she wouldn't pick up. When I made my way back to the car I realized she had left me. I took an Uber home, and right when I walked in the door, I was met with cry-shrieking about how I ditched her.

I tried to calm her down and explain that she kind of brought it on herself but she was not interested whatsoever.. Yesterday she gave me the silent treatment all day. Do I deserve what I'm getting here?

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Chasing a personal best in a 5k is no small feat, but leaving a struggling partner behind can turn victory into a relationship hurdle. This man set clear expectations, warning his girlfriend that his sub-27-minute goal required serious training, which she brushed off with a playful “skip-gallop” approach. Her early struggle and plea to walk together clashed with his drive to succeed, leading to a split-second decision that left her feeling abandoned.

This scenario reflects a broader tension: balancing individual goals with relationship commitments. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 68% of couples face conflicts when personal ambitions outpace mutual support. The girlfriend’s lack of preparation and expectation to slow him down suggest a disconnect in understanding each other’s priorities, while his choice to run ahead prioritized self over partnership.

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Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship expert, emphasizes, “Love means supporting each other’s growth, but it requires clear communication to avoid hurt”. Here, the man’s focus on his goal was valid, but a pre-race agreement on running separately could have softened the blow. His girlfriend’s reaction—abandoning him and giving the silent treatment—signals a need for better emotional expression on her part.

To mend this, the couple should discuss their expectations openly, perhaps agreeing on future races where he runs solo or they train together seriously. Both need to acknowledge their roles—him for not clarifying race-day plans, her for ignoring the preparation needed. This story invites reflection on how couples can support personal goals without leaving each other in the dust.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s community largely backed the runner, seeing his girlfriend’s lack of preparation and dramatic reaction as the core issue. They noted her choice to join without training, coupled with her odd “skip-gallop” tactic, set her up for failure, and her expectation that he abandon his goal was unfair, especially after he’d been clear about his intentions.

The consensus highlights her immaturity in handling the situation, from refusing to train to leaving him stranded post-race. While some suggested he could’ve clarified plans to run solo beforehand, most felt her behavior—ignoring warnings and sulking afterward—made her the one at fault, urging him to stand firm on his achievement.

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teresajs - NTA She chose to invite herself. She chose to not prepare. And she chose to make a fool of herself with her crazy method of 'running'. This is all on your GF. I'm glad you had your phone and/or wallet and were able to get home after she abandoned you.

tahnnss - NTA. You had a goal, told her well in advance. She shouldn’t have ran with you, if she knew that she wasn’t going to be able keep up.

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Mountain-Instance921 - NTA She asked to come, refused to train, knew you had a goal in mind and then still made it about herself.. Why are you with someone who acts like a child?

Accomplished-Mud2840 - NTA. Tell her to skip-gallop out of her feelings because this is her own fault. She saw the effort you put into your daily exercise. She’s acting like an entitled princess. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to wait for her. She knew she was not ready to run in a 5k.

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[Reddit User] - NTA, you warned her and spoke with her weeks ahead. But I will be honest her leaving you and that upset is a lot of red flags in my opinion.

Careless-Ad-6328 - NTA You were there to run a race, and were clear about that. She didn't do any prep ahead of time and probably would have struggled to walk the whole thing even. I've been in shape and run 5ks... been out of shape and walked 5ks. I did a turkey trot last Thanksgiving with my in-laws. My SIL is a runner, so she ran the race.

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My MIL and FIL are 75, so they slow walked the race. My partner and I at 39 and 40 power walked it. None of us expected the others to slow down/speed up to accommodate us. The ONE thing you perhaps could have done is prepare her before going to the race that if she wasn't able to keep up, you would run ahead.

Just saying your time goal probably didn't click with her as most people don't understand how long it takes to walk a distance, let alone run, and usually massively over-estimate how fast they're going. And at the end just outright blaming her, while not technically wrong, definitely threw fuel on the fire that wasn't necessary.

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My_Name_Is_Amos - After doing zero training and then deciding to do some kind of weird Monty Python crazy walk schtick, she decides mid race she wants you to walk with her. Ya, no man. Had you promised from the beginning that it was just going to be a fun race where you both could go dressed as Batman and Robin

or drink shots at every kilometre marker, then you’d be the a**hole. But this, f**k that man. Training for your first sub-30 five k is a pretty major milestone. Tell Pouty McPouterson that this is your last race together. Maybe needlepoint or building birdhouses are more in her wheelhouse. NTA

ImStealingTheTowels - NTA. Your girlfriend's behaviour is worse than a toddler's. You made it clear that you were aiming for a sub 27 minute time, yet she expected you to ditch that goal on the day because *she* failed completely to even attempt to train for this event. How selfish of her.

I think it's probably the case that she's more mad at herself, but the way she's handling this is insane and would give me serious pause. She needs to grow up and own her mistakes instead of taking her anger out out on people who are not responsible for her feelings.

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ExampleMediocre6716 - NTA. But this is a red flag. She may have wanted to join you for the run, but couldn't be bothered to do the hard work, and then wanted to mess up your PB. *Then* has a melt down at you?

If she was aligned to your psychological needs she'd be either trying hard to run or be more supportive of a hobby she doesn't share. If she can't do either, maybe time to get a fitter girlfriend.. As in athletic. I'm sure she looks perfectly adequate.

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vervenna101 - NTA. I used to do 5k's with a partner, and he was much fitter and faster than me. I would encourage him to go for it and beat his previous time! So long as he waited for me at the finish line I was more than happy bringing up the rear. You set the expectation ahead of time as to what you wanted, your girlfriend should have understood and supported that.

This 5k saga shows how quickly a race for personal glory can trip over relationship hurdles. Clear communication could’ve kept this couple in step, but misaligned expectations left them both winded. Have you ever faced a clash between your ambitions and a partner’s feelings? Share your experiences below—how would you balance the finish line with keeping the peace?

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