AITA for disowning my maid of honor after her behavior at my wedding?

A dream wedding turned sour when the maid of honor, Carly, stole the spotlight with her selfish antics. The OP, a quiet introvert, endured Carly’s domineering behavior for years, but her disruptive actions at the bachelorette party and wedding day—plus an underwhelming gift—pushed the bride to her limit.

Now, the OP wants to cut ties, wary of Carly’s defensive blowups. This Reddit tale unpacks friendship, loyalty, and tough choices—was the OP right to consider disowning her friend, or should she try to mend things?

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‘AITA for disowning my maid of honor after her behavior at my wedding?’

I \[32F\] got married last month and it was almost perfect....except for my maid of honor \[28F\] 'Carly.' For context, we've been friends 9 years, she has a domineering personality (I'm more quiet), she recently started making tons of money ($170K), and she complains when other people can't afford to go to nice places she wants.

Carly and her husband eloped last year (only family was invited to the ceremony) and had a reception at a nice restaurant 6 months later. We paid $1600 on travel to be there & $300 on registry gifts because they're our best friends, even though the costs were too much for our current budget (we figured it was worth it for a once-in-a-lifetime event for our favorite people).

Bachelorette party Carly kept dragging bridesmaids into political arguments and privately joked to me about how silly it was about how religious one girl is. During brunch, Carly got in a huge fight with her mom over the phone (she stepped outside then came back and loudly ranted to any girl who would listen).

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I tried ending the conversation but Carly doesn't like being told to wait to talk about something and in the past has accused me of being unsupportive when I asked if we could talk about something later. Wedding weekend: I rented a big house for all the girls & hubby rented a house for the guys but Carly & her husband decided they'd rather stay in a nicer hotel nearby.

Morning of, Carly was late for make-up and asked me if the artist could also do her hair (we were on a tight schedule). My other bridesmaids got Starbucks for everyone and cooked breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen while Carly walked around on her phone and interrupted the make-up artist to ask when they could start on her.

Carly eventually convinced the make-up artist to do her hair, but then she was PISSED about the 'crooked braid' and I heard her complaining 3 different times about what a bad job they did when were busy trying to get ready in the bridal suite (she also complained to my husband later that night).

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Lastly, we received their gift 2 weeks after the wedding: a set of nice wine glasses worth $80. We never asked for wine glasses because we have 30 already. I would've preferred a thoughtful card at that point. Now that the wedding's over, I just want to move on with my life. She's not the kind of person who accepts constructive criticism (turns into a barrage of 'it didn't happen that way' or 'you're wrong because X'),

so I don't feel like exerting the mental energy & emotional labor required to reason with someone who'll blame me (that's how our conflicts have gone over in the past, but I'm an introvert with a few close friends so I never felt like it was worth the possibility of her nuking our friendship). I still care about her, so I feel like an a**hole, but I'm also tired of being treated like crap.

Friendships can fray like a worn dress when one friend’s dominance overshadows mutual respect. Carly’s behavior—arguing at the bachelorette, demanding extra services on the wedding day, and giving a thoughtless gift—reveals a pattern of self-centeredness that clashed with the OP’s quieter nature. The OP’s urge to disown Carly stems from exhaustion, but her hesitation reflects care for their nine-year bond.

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Relationship expert Dr. Irene Levine, author of Best Friends Forever, notes, “Unbalanced friendships drain when one person consistently prioritizes themselves.” Studies show 60% of friendships end due to mismatched expectations, especially when one friend avoids accountability, as Carly does. The OP’s introversion makes confrontation tough, amplifying the strain.

This highlights a broader issue: navigating draining friendships. The OP could try a firm but kind talk, outlining specific grievances, though Carly’s defensiveness may derail it. A slow fade—less contact, fewer plans—might be less explosive. Therapy could help the OP process guilt and set boundaries.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s crew didn’t hold back, slamming Carly’s antics with a mix of outrage and witty shade while debating the OP’s role in letting it slide. From calls to cut ties to advice on tough talks, the comments are a lively clash. Here’s what the community tossed out:

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Dont420blazemebruh − NTA, she sounds insufferable and exhausting to be around. I don't even understand why you're friends with her in the first place other than just length of time you've known her maybe.

thatonepersoniam − ESH let's be clear, she's a bully and probably a crappy person. Her behavior sounds very selfish. But when you constantly avoid every opportunity to call her on her crap, you basically allow it to go on. Now you want to drop her because she's not worth a fight that you've already rehearsed and decided in your mind.

That's a crappy way to handle conflict. Handling conflict sucks. Especially when you're not naturally good at it. But when we decide to have friends, we sometimes have to have awkward, tight talks to work through problems. Maybe had you done this year's ago,

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you would not have had this drama at your wedding. Sit down and have the tough talk with her. Be clear, be nice, be firm, and give her the chance to apologize and try to make things right. At least then if she's a jerk, you know you did your part to try to fix the problem.

MikeyMBCA − NTA. She is not worth the investment of your time and emotion.. Cut her loose and don't look back.

Bretzli − ESH. Carly is a s**b but you really need to grow a pair. Introvert or not you considered her a friend, a very close one even as you made her maid of honor. If you can't tell her no to her face write at least a message or a letter.

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mwestlac − NTA, wow what a piece of work. She has been showing you who she really is for awhile. You deserve better from your friend. I'm so glad your other bridesmaids were great!

officegringo − ESH. Something is off in this post. You're not the a**hole for not wanting to be friends with her because she was inconsiderate. I think getting an $80 gift that wasn't on the registry compared to your $300 gift is kind of crappy. It shouldn't be tit for tat but because she could have at least chosen something you registered.

It's s**tty to know you tried really hard to get her something useful that she wanted, and she didn't bother to get anything nice. Her behavior overall sounds embarrassing,. However, that's how our conflicts have gone over in the past, but I'm an introvert with a few close friends so I never felt like it was worth the possibility of her nuking our friendship.

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It sounds like she's been kind of a crappy friend your entire friendship. Why would you choose her as a maid of honor? I have a hard time believing she hasn't shown major red flags before this event. Honestly it seems like you've been dragging this friendship out. You're the a**hole to yourself for putting up with it and encouraging the friendship by picking her as the maid of honor.

AceyAceyAcey − NTA. ***She*** was behaving like the bridezilla! If you don't completely disown her, you may at least want to step back on the level of friendship a bit.

Cynical_Manatee − NTA, just do what is best for you. If you really are losing sleep over it, then there is probably more you should consider. Talk to some people you trust and see what they think. Maybe they can settle your unease.

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geodewitch96 − NTA. You don’t owe her an explanation or anything like that. It just sounds like you have grown and there just isn’t much room for her anymore. And there’s nothing. Wrong with that. If a relationship is more draining than uplifting, I think you’re doing the right thing for you. Also it just shows that you probably care more about her than she does of you.

Or else she would have acted so much differently. If you want to avoid the nuclear blowout that she would have. I wouldn’t just cut her off , just slowly stop replying to texts, don’t answer phone calls. Just text and say you’re too busy and don’t try to make any future plans. And then you just move on! Good luck!

Blumpkinz4Babiez − !NTA. .She's basically Dan Aykroyd from The Great Outdoors. What a tool.

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These Reddit quips are sharp, but do they hit the mark? Is the OP justified in dropping Carly, or partly to blame for not confronting her sooner?

This wedding drama shows that even close friendships can unravel when respect runs dry. Carly’s selfish stunts at the OP’s wedding, paired with years of overbearing behavior, justify the OP’s desire to move on, though her guilt hints at lingering care. A clear talk or gradual distance could free the OP without a blowout, letting her focus on uplifting bonds. What would you do if a friend hijacked your special day? Drop your stories and tips below!

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