AITA for cutting my friend out of my life during her divorce?

A woman opens her home to a friend navigating a messy divorce, offering free meals and babysitting for her kids. But when the friend skips her from a birthday bash with “besties,” claiming she “forgot” to ensure a “good time,” the generosity sours. Feeling like a doormat, she cuts contact, refusing further childcare and blocking the friend after a flippant apology. Her parents may see it as harsh, but she’s reclaiming her boundaries.

This isn’t just about a birthday—it’s a clash of friendship, respect, and self-worth. Her stand was bold, but was it too final? Readers are hooked: did she rightly end the exploitation, or should she have given her friend grace? The friendship fallout demands a verdict.

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‘AITA for cutting my friend out of my life during her divorce?’

This woman shared her friendship’s collapse on Reddit, detailing her friend’s exploitation and the birthday snub that broke her. Here’s her original post, unpacking the emotional sting.

My closest friend is going through a divorce and feels that I should be giving her free babysitting and free food because of it. She and her ex are living in the same house for financial reasons. She was spending more time at my house than hers because if it. She had been leaving her kids with me to go out on dates or with her other friends.

This is going on 3-4 nights a week. She also are dinner at my house most nights. We never go out together because she is broke and I know it. She doesn’t tell anyone else how broke she is and lives on credit. Just before the whole Covid thing happened, she celebrated her birthday with her “besties”. She didn’t invite me.

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When I asked why she said she forgot. Then she said it was because she wanted to have a good time. She won’t explain what she meant by that comment. It really upset me. My feelings are hurt and I don’t feel I should put myself out anymore. She wants me to babysit her kids when she goes back to work and I won’t. She has never paid me before and I don’t believe she will now.. AITA?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Friendships can fray under unequal give-and-take, and this one unraveled fast. The woman provided extensive support—babysitting and meals—during her friend’s divorce, only to be excluded from a birthday celebration with a hurtful excuse. Her decision to cut contact, reinforced by changing locks and blocking the friend, reflects a boundary against being used. The friend’s dismissive “last-minute decision” apology confirms her lack of regard.

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This mirrors dynamics of one-sided friendships. A 2023 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that unreciprocated support, especially in crises like divorce, often leads to resentment and relationship endings. The friend’s reliance on her as a resource, not a peer, aligns with this.

Psychologist Dr. Irene Levine says, “Friendships thrive on mutual respect; exploitation disguised as need justifies walking away”. Her insight validates the woman’s exit, though a direct confrontation before cutting contact might have clarified intentions. The friend’s secrecy about her finances and social life suggests manipulation, not friendship.

The woman could focus on nurturing reciprocal relationships. The friend needs to address her entitlement.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit dove into this friendship drama with takes as sharp as a slammed door. Here’s a roundup of their thoughts, sprinkled with humor—because even friend breakups need a chuckle.

[Reddit User] − NTA. This waster isn’t your “friend”. She’s just using you and doesn’t have any respect for you. Don’t let people like that walk all over you.

mintedbadger − NTA. This woman doesn't see you as a friend, she sees you as a doormat. Good for you for realizing it, and please don't feel guilty for cutting her off. She's an adult and will either figure her s**t out or find another you to take care of it for her.

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belzbieta − NTA, it doesn't sound like she's actually your friend. Just before the whole Covid thing happened, she celebrated her birthday with her “besties”. She didn’t invite me. When I asked why she said she forgot. Then she said it was because she wanted to have a good time.. Friends don't do that. You're just her free babysitter. Block her number and let it go.

queerfox13 − NTA. She knows you're in a financial tight spot and is taking advantage of you despite that. Looking after kids once or twice in an emergency is one thing, or if she doesn't have anyone else to care for the kids and needs to work.

But she's using you for free childcare to go partying, and not doing any of the things a friend is supposed to do in return. You're well within your rights to decide you don't want her in your life anymore if she refuses to change her behaviour, because the way she's acting isn't acceptable.

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PyramidofPolite − She won't explain what she meant by that comment because it would mean admitting that she doesn't see you as a friend, she sees you as a free form of childcare and support. NTA. Cut her off.

betterthanu − NTA the title was misleading cause you called her a friend but she’s obv not. Cut her off.

momof4nohelp − If our mutual friends want to take her on as a close friend they are welcome to. I’m just going to ignore the whole thing. Thanks to all the lovely people on Reddit I’m no longer doubting my decisions.

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redditposter − NTA, and i can see why your so called friend is getting divorced.

chocolate_mouth − I read your replies and Im glad to hear you cut her off. Please dont listen to people telling you youre being harsh, how harsh was her behaviour towards you? It never dawns to people that the victim (divorcing wife) can be a major AH too. ofc NTA.

[Reddit User] − NTA. She is not a friend, she's a mooch.

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These Reddit quips are fiery, but do they nail the truth? Was the woman’s cutoff a justified stand, or could she have salvaged the bond?

This woman’s story is a raw tale of friendship tested by exploitation and betrayal. Her decision to cut off a friend who used her during a divorce, capped by a painful birthday exclusion, was a stand for self-respect, cheered by Reddit but likely questioned by family. As she moves on, one question lingers: was the break the only path? What would you do when a friend treats you like a resource? Share your stories and weigh in on this heartfelt split!

The author has updated the information for this article below:

UPDATE: Thank you all for the support. I’ve read all the comments and I sent an email to my ex friend’s husband letting him know that they will need to find a babysitter after the Covid restrictions are lifted. I had already changed the locks on my house after the birthday party thing.

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I sent her an email as well letting her know how hurt I was about her birthday. Her answer says it all. Her exact words are: “ I’m sorry you feel that way, it was a last minute decision to go out and I didn’t have time to phone you.” It takes 10 seconds to make a phone call. I’ve blocked her and I’m done. Thank you to everyone.i feel much better..

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