AITA for communicating with my daughter only in my language, not English?
An American mom of Indian descent fills her home with the lilt of Gujarati, teaching her 6-year-old daughter the language of her grandparents’ heritage. But her ex, a latecomer to fatherhood after a three-year absence, bristles, calling it “un-American” and claiming it alienates him from their child’s chatter. Steadfast, she defends her choice, backed by science and pride in her roots.
This isn’t just about words—it’s a tug-of-war over culture and connection. Her commitment to bilingualism, cheered by Reddit as NTA, clashes with her ex’s demands for English dominance. Like a melody sung in two tongues, the story probes how parents balance heritage with harmony, asking what it means to raise a child across worlds
‘AITA for communicating with my daughter only in my language, not English?’
The mother’s choice to speak primarily Gujarati at home is not only culturally affirming but developmentally sound, fostering bilingualism that enhances cognitive and social skills. Her ex’s complaints—labeling it “un-American” and claiming it stunts development—ignore evidence and reflect his discomfort with being linguistically sidelined, not the child’s well-being.
A 2023 study in Journal of Child Language found that bilingual children show superior cognitive flexibility and academic outcomes, with no developmental delays when exposed to both languages early (Cambridge.org, 2023). Dr. Ellen Bialystok, a bilingualism expert, notes, “Consistent home language use strengthens cultural identity without hindering second-language acquisition” (EllenBialystok.com). The daughter’s English fluency via school and media ensures balance, while her Gujarati confidence honors her heritage.
The ex’s absence for three years weakens his claim to dictate language choices, and his cultural insensitivity risks alienating the child. Reddit’s NTA verdict champions the mother’s approach, though some miss the ex’s emotional struggle.
She should invite her ex to learn basic Gujarati phrases with their daughter, fostering inclusion (Duolingo.com). Co-parenting counseling could align their goals. Encouraging the daughter to share English moments with her dad might ease his fears.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Reddit’s dishing out a chorus of support for this mom’s linguistic legacy, with sharp jabs at the ex’s narrow view—brace for the vibrant takes!
These are Reddit’s most spirited cheers, but do they capture the full harmony of heritage and healing?
This saga of a mom’s Gujarati lullabies and an ex’s English-only gripes is a vivid lesson in weaving culture into a child’s heart. Reddit hails her bilingual stand, torching the ex’s “un-American” jab as petty. It’s a reminder that language isn’t just speech—it’s identity. How would you balance heritage and co-parenting in a divided family? Share your thoughts below—let’s unpack this cultural crossroads!