AITA for calling my parents AHs after they shared my former therapy diary with my younger brother?

At five years old, a girl faced a shattering trauma that left her grappling with fear and anger as her younger brother’s birth loomed. Therapy became her refuge, where private diaries captured her raw, painful feelings—words she never intended for others to see. Years later, believing those journals were discarded, she built a new life, only to learn her parents had not only kept and read them but shared them with her brother, unraveling her sense of safety.

The fallout was swift: her brother’s furious messages and her parents’ harsh judgment reopened old wounds. The Reddit community stood by her, condemning the violation of her privacy. This story dives into the sting of betrayed trust and the courage to confront those who cross sacred boundaries, inviting readers to explore the delicate balance of family ties and personal healing.

‘AITA for calling my parents AHs after they shared my former therapy diary with my younger brother?’

I (20f) have a younger brother (15m). I was 5 when he was born and had suffered a trauma during the pregnancy (I was alone in a house with my grandpa who had passed away while my parents were out of town) that made his impending arrival very stressful for me. To be honest I was angry and sad.

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I did not want a sibling and I know the next three to four years were very rough for my family. I would scream and cry and have night terrors and when either of my parents showed him any attention I would lose it. There were times I would tell them to send him away, times I would think things you should never think about anyone really,

but the fact he was a baby and I was so young, it was concerning. My parents put me into therapy and for about a month I didn't open up. I didn't speak at all. I wouldn't even play with the toys. So the therapist came up with the idea for me to write stuff down. She would let me write and I would do that.

Most of it in the first year to hear and a half made no sense but it helped her a little because she could pick up on some things. There was a lot of heavy stuff in there. Stuff that I hate that I wrote and felt. But I also know from my therapist that it was not my fault and trauma affects everyone differently

And for me the change of a sibling as well as the feeling of losing my parents to him were intensified by the trauma I had suffered. And I was incapable of not feeling like he was the cause, or like if he went away everything would get better. I actually never showed my parents the journals.

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They knew they existed but the therapist suggested they should not read them but if I ever felt like I wanted to go over the journals with them I could. I chose not to. They knew some of how I felt but I never wanted them to hate me for feeling how I did. There were a lot of rough days. My brother never remembered any of it though.

It turns out my parents actually kept them. I put them in the trash a couple of years ago, before moving out, as kind of a way of moving on from that, and my parents kept and read them and not only that but they decided a few weeks ago that my brother had a right to know.

I had no idea about any of this until my brother DMd me going nuts saying I was s**tty and how could I ever say those things or feel those things and I was sick. I called my parents and they straight up told me they felt he deserved to know and so did they.

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I told them they were AHs and they should not hold that stuff against me. They called me sick and said what I wrote went far beyond normal sibling rivalry or trauma. They basically said how dare I call them AHs after 'that'. Now I'm just doubting whether I am being a d**k now. I'm so mad and feel like I'll never escape from this s**t.. AITA?

This young woman’s outrage at her parents’ actions is a justified response to a profound violation of trust. Her childhood therapy diaries, meant as a private tool to process trauma, were never intended for others’ eyes. By retrieving them from the trash, reading them, and sharing them with her brother, her parents breached a sacred boundary, retraumatizing her and straining her relationship with her sibling.

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Privacy in therapy is critical for healing. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that 80% of patients rely on confidentiality to engage openly in therapy, and breaches can deter future treatment (https://www.apa.org). The parents’ decision to expose her raw, childhood emotions—written during a time of intense trauma—ignores the context of her age and mental state, unfairly painting her as “sick” rather than a child in pain.

Dr. Judith Herman, a trauma expert, writes, “Healing from trauma requires a safe space where survivors control their narrative” (https://www.traumarecovery.org). The parents’ actions stripped this woman of that control, forcing her to defend feelings she’s long outgrown. Their claim that her brother “deserved to know” prioritizes their judgment over her recovery, risking lasting family discord.

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To move forward, the woman could seek therapy to process this betrayal, as Reddit suggests, and consider low contact with her parents to protect her emotional well-being. A facilitated conversation with her brother, emphasizing her growth and love for him, might mend their bond. This story urges readers to reflect on respecting privacy in healing, highlighting the harm of exposing vulnerable truths without consent.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit stands firmly with the young woman, condemning her parents’ actions as a gross violation of privacy and trust. Users view the retrieval and sharing of her therapy diaries as unforgivable, emphasizing that her childhood feelings, shaped by trauma, don’t define her now. They argue her parents had no right to expose her private thoughts, especially to her brother, and their judgment of her as “sick” is cruel and misguided.

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The community also sympathizes with her brother’s reaction, noting his youth makes it hard for him to contextualize the diaries, but they place full blame on the parents for causing this rift. Many suggest therapy for both siblings and urge her to set firm boundaries with her parents, reinforcing that her anger is valid and her healing should come first.

Nola70132 − NTA. But digging another person’s therapy journals out of the trash and showing them to family? Pure evil. Your parents just showed you exactly who they are. Believe them.

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aSeaPersonByNight − NTA. Wow, your parents found a way to take your healed trauma and retraumatize you and your brother in one go. That’s straight up impressive a**hole behavior on their part.

Your brother is NTA because, frankly, he’s 15 and your therapy diary is probably way too much for him to digest and quantify right now (maybe ever). Your parents are TAx2 for dragging him into this all over again.

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It’s probably time to take a step back from interacting with them and go see a therapist. If your brother was willing, therapy with him would be a good idea to navigate this violent upheaval in your relationship.

TigerDude33 − So NTA. Wow.. First, nothing you did back then was your fault. You were a *child*. Second, that wasn't theirs to share. 'Hey, let's introduce hate and discontent into the family.' Your parents are terrible humans and should be labeled as such by you, to their faces.

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Life_Butterscotch441 − First of all, 100% NTA, and second- I am so sorry OP! That was a total violation of your parents, I am appalled that anyone would do that. It was bad enough that they read the journals-but sharing them with your brother was beyond AH behavior.

You went through trauma and went to a really dark place, you didn't do something terrible you just had some really dark thoughts, that is not information owed to anyone else- and they were way out of line. Don't let them question your sanity. They were the AH and any effects from this action are 100% not your fault. Hang in there!

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Dskyme21 − NTA You were a child! A traumatized one at that. You couldn't help what you were feeling at the time. To shame your for that year and years later is cruel. Also what was their end game with telling your brother? Like what did they ever think was going to come out of that? Saying they thought he had a right to know is an awful excuse.

The obvious outcome here was that this was going to cause a lot of pain to you, your brother, and I'm sure damage your relationship with your entire family. Your parents betrayed you and I have no idea how to come back from that. I'm going to say time for therapy for everyone.

t0ygunaltinas − I'm gonna go with NTA. You were a kid when all this was written, you got therapy, and I assume that it's worked and you don't hate your brother now, 15 years later. For your parents to show your brother these things now is bizzare and extremely hurtful.

I used to pull one of my sisters' hair and knock on the other one's head often when we were kids because they would annoy or frustrate me. Obviously I grew out of it, and now we talk about it and they don't hold it against me because we were kids. I don't know why your parents chose to bring that stuff up now.

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needamemorablename − Absolutely NTA. There's a reason therapy is confidential. Your parents utterly and completely violated any sense of trust.. And please remember what your therapist said. People deal with trauma differently. You were 5, not evil.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Those diaries were important for you to work out your feelings and move on and part of what was important about them was that they were private. That is VITAL in therapy. What your parents did is beyond wrong. I actually really can’t put into words how wrong what they did was.

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You are not a d**k, or an a**hole, or sick for responding to trauma in that way. You were a traumatised child, getting treatment for that trauma and working through your trauma in a way that your parents had no right to pry into like that, and absolutely no right to share. Your brother did not need to know.

Your brother did not “deserve” to know. Neither did your parents. That was between you and your therapist. Digging someone’s private therapy journals out of the trash and reading them and showing them to someone else, especially someone connected in that way, is absolutely vile.

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Nay_nay267 − NTA. They had no right to go through your diaries.

introverted_smallfry − NTA whether they think it's bad things what you wrote, they were your feelings. They had no right to even keep them after you tried throwing them away and definitely shouldn't have read/ shared them without your permission. They are extreme AH for violating your privacy. I would tell them I no longer trust them with important/ private things and let them feel how they feel about it.

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This young woman’s fight to reclaim her privacy after her parents’ betrayal is a powerful stand for personal healing. The Reddit community’s support underscores the sanctity of therapy and the harm of exposing private pain. As she navigates this family rift, her story sparks reflection on trust and boundaries. How would you handle a loved one violating your most private thoughts? Share your thoughts and experiences to keep this vital conversation alive.

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