AITA for calling my ex greedy and telling her to chase her baby daddy if she needs stuff for her daughter instead of me?

What happens when the person you planned to spend your life with betrays you in the worst way? One man thought he had the perfect family until he discovered his wife was pregnant with another man’s child during their marriage.

Many assume they would cut ties completely after such heartbreak. Yet years later, co-parenting their shared son keeps them connected. The ex-wife now struggles financially and asks for help with her daughter, sparking a heated confrontation that leaves everyone questioning boundaries and responsibility.

‘AITA for calling my ex greedy and telling her to chase her baby daddy if she needs stuff for her daughter instead of me?’

The story starts with a long history between the couple and the devastating discovery that shattered their marriage.

Life continued with shared custody of their son, who faced emotional challenges from the family breakdown.

The tension peaked recently when financial struggles led to a direct plea for help with the daughter.

The core conflict revolves around lingering expectations after infidelity destroyed the marriage. The ex-wife faces financial hardship raising two children alone, while the man firmly rejects any role in supporting the child proven not to be his. Emotions like guilt, resentment, and protectiveness over their shared son fuel the ongoing tension.

Both parties carry deep wounds. The man harbors betrayal trauma, driving his need for clear boundaries to protect himself and his resources for their son. The ex-wife likely feels overwhelmed and desperate, possibly hoping familiarity would prompt help, while overlooking how her past actions eroded trust and goodwill.

Relationship expert Dr. Harriet Lerner explains in her book The Dance of Connection (2005) that “After betrayal, the injured partner often needs distance to heal, and forcing closeness can reopen wounds.” This fits the situation perfectly. Repeated requests ignore his pain, escalating frustration on both sides.

To move forward, document all interactions calmly for legal protection. Schedule custody exchanges through neutral apps to minimize contact. Consider mediated discussions focused solely on their son’s needs. Reflect privately before responding to requests, and redirect energy toward building a stable environment for the shared child.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Social media users reacted strongly to this complicated co-parenting situation. The vast majority sided with the original poster, declaring him not at fault while pointing out the consequences of the ex-wife’s past choices.

Many readers delivered harsh criticism of the ex-wife’s actions, stressing that she alone must face the results of her infidelity.

Other commenters focused on the children’s difficult position, acknowledging the sadness for the innocent daughter while still firmly supporting the man’s refusal to help.

A smaller group offered practical advice, urging caution with legal matters and documentation to protect the son and avoid future manipulation.

This situation highlights how one act of infidelity can create lasting ripples affecting everyone, especially the children. Clear boundaries protect healing after betrayal, even when guilt arises over innocent kids caught in the middle. Consequences fall on the person who made the choices, and rebuilding trust rarely happens overnight.

Would you draw the same hard line if faced with ongoing requests for help years after such a betrayal? Or when does compassion for a struggling child override past hurt, even if the responsibility isn’t yours?