AITA for booking a hotel in the same area as my son and dil’s trip that we didn’t get to go on?

In a recent family vacation planning debacle, a 37-year-old man recounts how he decided to book a hotel in the same area where his son and future daughter‑in‑law were planning their spring break trip. The background is layered with family tension: his son’s fiancée had objected to his joining their vacation because he hadn’t attended her engagement dinner, leaving her feeling uncomfortable around him.

Seeking a way to salvage his own plans while not intruding on theirs, he booked a nearby hotel for his family trip. Now he wonders if his actions were justified or if he’s overstepped by showing up close by.

‘AITA for booking a hotel in the same area as my son and dil’s trip that we didn’t get to go on?’

Family therapists and conflict resolution experts emphasize that setting boundaries in blended family situations is crucial, even if it sometimes leads to uncomfortable conversations. Dr. Elaine Matthews, a family counselor, explains, “When expectations are not clearly communicated upfront, misunderstandings can easily arise. In this case, the host had a legitimate desire to join the trip but was met with resistance due to past oversights. It’s important for both sides to have clear discussions about boundaries and expectations well in advance.”

Similarly, financial and relationship consultant Mark Evans advises, “It’s not uncommon for family members to have conflicting priorities when it comes to vacation plans. While your decision to book a hotel nearby can be seen as an attempt to preserve your own plans, it might also be interpreted as a subtle intrusion. Couples—and families—should discuss these issues openly to avoid feelings of being imposed upon.”

Both experts agree that while his decision was not inherently wrong, the key issue lies in communication. Clear and respectful dialogue before finalizing plans could have prevented much of the current tension.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit community is split on this matter. Some commenters are sympathetic, arguing that he had every right to arrange alternative accommodations when he was effectively uninvited from a family vacation he’d been anticipating for years. One user commented, “NTA—if you’re not invited, you shouldn’t have to compromise your own plans. Booking your own hotel was a practical solution.”

However, others believe that by booking a hotel so close to the trip location, he’s sending mixed signals and undermining the clear message from his son’s fiancée. Critics argue that this action could be seen as passive-aggressive or as an attempt to maintain undue influence over his son’s family events.

One commenter stated, “YTA—you’re effectively trying to insert yourself into their vacation, even if indirectly, and that’s not respectful of their boundaries.” The overall sentiment reflects the complexity of family dynamics in blended relationships and the importance of setting clear boundaries well ahead of time.

In conclusion, this incident highlights the challenges of navigating family vacation plans within blended family settings. While many feel that his decision to book a hotel was a practical response to being uninvited, others view it as an unnecessary intrusion that could further strain family relationships.

The key takeaway is that clear, upfront communication about expectations is essential. How do you think families should handle situations when one party feels left out of planned events? Have you ever experienced similar conflicts, and what resolutions worked for you? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.