AITA for being upset my brother ruined the dessert I made for Thanksgiving and replaced it with one I couldn’t eat?

A Thanksgiving table groans with warmth, but one dessert disaster sours the feast. An 18-year-old vegan, tasked with crafting a lactose-free pumpkin pie, pours heart into a treat everyone can savor. Tucked safely in the fridge, it’s a creamy promise of inclusion—until their 30-year-old brother’s carelessness sends it crashing, shattering a cherished French pie plate. His store-bought replacement, laced with cream, leaves them sidelined at dessert, fuming. He calls them a brat for their anger. Was their flare-up a justified spice, or a bitter overbake?

This isn’t just about pie—it’s a recipe for family friction, dietary respect, and broken treasures. Reddit’s serving up support, but a crumb of doubt lingers. Readers, carve into this holiday havoc and decide: was their anger a righteous roast, or too hot to handle? The table’s set for your verdict.

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‘AITA for being upset my brother ruined the dessert I made for Thanksgiving and replaced it with one I couldn’t eat?’

The young baker dished their frustration on Reddit, spilling the saga of a ruined pie, a thoughtless swap, and a brother’s shrug. Here’s their raw tale of a Thanksgiving treat turned tragedy.

I'm (18) lactose intolerant found out about 3 years ago. I went vegan just this year but I'd been making vegan desserts/dishes for a while then because it helped make it a bit easier for me to avoid dairy. My mother was hosting (Canadian) thanksgiving this year.

She asked me to make a couple side dishes and dessert - no one else in my family really likes to/can bake, and they like my vegan desserts just fine. I made the same dessert I'd made last year that we all liked - a vegan pumpkin pie. I made it really early this morning because it had to chill and set in the fridge for a good few hours.

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I carefully wrapped it up and stuck it at the bottom of the fridge behind a couple things so it wouldn't get knocked off. I'm not exactly sure how or why it happened, but my brother (30) went to get something out of the fridge and pulled out the pie to get at it and put it on the counter. He ended up knocking it off the counter and the pie plate broke and the pie was ruined.

He went to the store and bought a store bought pumpkin pie. I had no idea about any of this until everyone started showing up at 5pm, as he didn't tell me until it was just about dinner time. I was really angry, as he's a very careless person and breaks my things all the time and this was just another thing he ruined.

To make it worse, the pie he bought was filled with cream so I couldn't even eat it. I always feel so awkward being the only one not eating dessert at gatherings which is why I've always liked being the one making them. He said well sorry and asked if I was mad at him and I said 'obviously, but I need to help mom with dinner now' and I walked away.

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He hasn't said anything else to me, but apparently told my mom he thought I was being a brat. I don't feel like I did a f**king thing wrong here - don't I have the right to be mad Especially when he didn't even get a dessert and could eat and was more concerned I was mad at him then actually ruining my pie and breaking my expensive pie plate (which was a Christmas gift from my aunt that was from France)???

A pie’s not just pastry—it’s a labor of love, and this vegan teen’s shattered dessert was a gut-punch. Their brother’s carelessness, wrecking a vegan pumpkin pie and a heirloom plate, stung deeply, as Reddit’s NTA chorus chants. His last-minute swap for a creamy, inedible pie—without a heads-up—left them isolated at their own family’s feast, compounding the hurt. His “brat” jab and lack of real apology, despite knowing their dietary needs, show a disregard that’s tough to swallow, especially given his history of breaking their things.

This taps into dietary inclusion in families. A 2023 study in Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior found that 73% of people with dietary restrictions feel socially excluded at gatherings when their needs are ignored. The brother’s non-vegan replacement, despite a year of vegan desserts, was a thoughtless fumble.

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Dietitian Sharon Palmer says, “Respecting dietary needs fosters family unity; ignoring them breeds resentment”. Her insight nails the brother’s misstep—failing to consider their lactose intolerance turned a fixable mistake into exclusion. A quick call to them before shopping could’ve saved the day.

The teen should calmly explain their hurt, request a replacement plate, and keep baking their way. The brother needs to own his carelessness with a genuine apology.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit dove into this pie predicament with zest, tossing out quips as rich as a holiday spread. From roasting the brother’s blunder to cheering the teen’s grit, here’s a flavorful slice of their reactions, spiced with sass.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. He ruined the dessert you made for everyone and replaced it with one you couldnt even TRY. You have a right to be mad.

MysteryMan845 − NTA! Your brother should have told you at the time it happened. He may not have known it was a vegan pie, however if he had told you before he went to the store to replace it, then I am sure you would have explained and he could have purchased a desert you could enjoy as well.

I would have been upset as well and you are not being a brat, however don't let it ruin your Thanksgiving. He should have been more apologetic and the stores are still open so he can still run out to get a small desert you can enjoy.

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saintives − NTA. He should've told you he dropped the pie right after it happened rather than tell you at the very last second, and he shouldn't be surprised that you'd be upset after he ruined something you worked hard on and then was inconsiderate on top of it.

DrewDonut − NTA. Your brother is 12** years older than you and behaved like a child: he carelessly broke s**t (which you say he does frequently), rather than telling anyone he just went out to buy a new one, the one he got wasn’t vegan (he should know that you’re vegan by now it you’ve cooked vegan desserts for family dinners this past year).

And when you confronted him rather than being totally apologetic he did the 5 year old “are you mad at me?” routine. He seriously has the gall to say that you’re being a brat? Tell your brother to grow the f**k up..

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wobblebase − NTA. Your brother doesn't want to take responsibility for being careless and thoughtless.

vintagchk − NTA and omg your brother sounds like 90% of the men in my family. God forbid you get mad. That’s not allowed or else you seem bratty, moody, bitchy, etc and need to get medicated. At least that’s what I’m told if I get mad one time.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Also he owes you a new pie plate.

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Dromer − NTA: I am also lactose intolerant and I would be pretty upset if my sibling did this to me. Maybe if he had bought another pumpkin pie as well as a dairy free dessert.

GiveItToMeStraight72 − NTA. He not only didn't tell you about the mishap untl the last minute, but since he was at the store, he could have bought something you could eat for dessert.

pamela271 − NTA. How could he have knocked off your pie? Does he have some disability? It just seems weird that you had a 'sixth sense' about him knocking down your pie to the extent that you tried to hide it. Also you mentioned that he breaks stuff all the time.. Either he has a disability or he is doing it on purpose. It just seems weird to me.

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These Reddit morsels are as bold as a Thanksgiving feast, but do they dish the truth? Is the teen’s anger a justified sizzle, or too much heat in the kitchen?

This Thanksgiving tale of a trashed pie is a bittersweet blend of carelessness and courage. The teen’s fury at their brother’s wrecking of their vegan dessert and heirloom plate, topped with an inedible swap, burns bright with Reddit’s backing. As they navigate family feasts, one question lingers: can they bake peace with a brother who breaks more than pie? Readers, what would you do when a sibling ruins your dish and leaves you out? Serve up your stories and verdicts below—this saga’s still simmering!

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