AITA for being snarky when I wished my mom good luck getting me to ever trust her again?

In this post, a 16-year-old, who is currently in therapy, recounts a painful incident involving his mother and stepfather violating his privacy by reading his private therapy notes on an app he uses for journaling. These notes were meant to help him process his complicated feelings about his family dynamics—especially regarding his stepdad’s overreaching attempts to become his father after his own dad’s death.

When his mother confronted him about his feelings and he responded with snarky remarks like “good luck getting me to ever trust you again,” the situation escalated into a serious conflict. This post explores whether his snarky response was justified or if he went too far in expressing his hurt.

‘AITA for being snarky when I wished my mom good luck getting me to ever trust her again?’

Family therapist Dr. Amanda Reyes explains, “Privacy is a fundamental aspect of building trust, especially in a therapeutic process. When a parent disregards their child’s boundaries, it can lead to long-lasting feelings of betrayal and a breakdown in communication.”

Dr. Reyes adds that while teenagers may sometimes resort to snark as a defense mechanism, it often signals deeper issues of mistrust and unmet emotional needs. “In situations like this, it’s important for both the parent and child to address the breach of trust directly, ideally with professional mediation, so that both parties can work toward healing.”

Dr. Reyes recommends that the young man continues therapy and encourages a family session to discuss boundaries and confidentiality in a safe space.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit users largely side with the young man, condemning his mother’s decision to invade his privacy. Many commenters argue that his reaction, though snarky, is understandable given the repeated boundary violations over the years. They point out that a parent should never overstep by reading private therapeutic notes, and that his feelings of betrayal are completely valid.

Several responses emphasize that his stepdad and mother have long pressured him to conform to their expectations without considering his emotional wellbeing. Some users even suggest that this incident might be the catalyst for him to push for more independence and potentially reevaluate his living situation. Overall, the community consensus is that he is not the asshole, and that his snarky remark was a natural, if not necessary, expression of hurt and frustration.

This situation raises important questions about trust, privacy, and the dynamics of parent-child relationships, particularly when a young person is already struggling with complex family issues. Is it acceptable for a parent to breach their child’s privacy in the name of care, and how should such violations be addressed? Have you ever experienced a similar situation where your boundaries were disregarded by a loved one?

How did you manage your feelings of betrayal, and what steps did you take to rebuild trust? We invite you to share your thoughts, experiences, and strategies for navigating family conflicts where trust is compromised. Let’s discuss how to establish healthy boundaries and promote mutual respect in family relationships.