AITA for being cheap due to the govt shutdown?

A well-off family, reliant mainly on the husband’s federal salary, faced sudden financial strain when a prolonged government shutdown halted his paychecks. Though he continued working with promised backpay, the couple’s only incoming money came from the wife’s part-time job.

What makes the story more complicated is the wife’s deep-seated anxiety from a childhood of poverty, prompting her to slash all non-essential spending—including kids’ activities, holiday gifts, and a planned vacation—despite substantial savings and eventual backpay. Family members accused her of overreacting or “acting poor,” while her husband supported the cuts to ease her worries.

‘AITA for being cheap due to the govt shutdown?’

The family’s primary income stopped abruptly due to the shutdown, shifting reliance to limited part-time earnings.

My husband and I are fairly well off and generally don’t worry about money. The majority of our income comes from him - he is a federal worker - and...

Half of my paycheck usually goes to extra taxes, the other half into kids college savings, however, since the shutdown, it has been our only income.

Since the shutdown, my husband still has had to go to work but obviously has not been getting paid (he will get back pay).

We have significant savings, but they are locked up in CDs and in the stock market and tbh, i don’t want to take a loss to get the money.

To manage uncertainty, the wife imposed strict cuts on family spending and activities.

Bc we don’t have our main income (and who knows when the govt will reopen), I told our kids we can’t sign them up for activities this winter (fall session...

We’ve cut all non essential spending, including luxuries at the grocery store and treats like dinners out and extra excursions.

We have a family vacation planned in mid November (everything is paid for, but is refundable), but are thinking of canceling it due to our financial situation and not wanting...

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My husband thinks I am overreacting by wanting to cancel the vacation and my kids obviously are very disappointed about no activities and potentially canceling the vacation.

We’ve asked family members to not plan on getting us anything for the holidays if the shutdown continues bc we can’t reciprocate,

but some people have said I’m being an a__hole by acting like we are poor bc we have the savings, and also bc my husband will be getting backpay.

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Background differences in money experiences influenced their joint approach to the crisis.

Edit to add: my husband and I are making these financial decisions together. I have been very worried about the money since the govt shut down,

and my husband’s attitude has been that if making the cuts makes me feel better, then he is on board. I grew up poor (qualified for welfare, free lunches, etc...

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His family never had to worry about money and our kids have never had to either; basically if they want to do something like an extra sport or activity, we...

This scenario illustrates how past financial trauma can shape reactions to temporary income disruptions, even in stable households. The wife’s caution—avoiding locked savings and cutting extras—stems from childhood insecurity, prioritizing liquidity and preparedness over immediate enjoyment.

Critics view the measures as excessive given guaranteed backpay and existing wealth, potentially denying children normalcy during uncertainty. Yet prudence makes sense amid prolonged shutdowns, where timelines remain unpredictable and emergencies could arise.

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Societally, frequent shutdowns expose vulnerabilities for federal families, underscoring needs for accessible emergency funds beyond investments. While backpay arrives eventually, living without primary income tests resilience. The couple’s united front, with the husband deferring to her comfort, models healthy compromise, though balancing anxiety with family needs remains key.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many users affirmed the poster’s responsible approach, highlighting shutdown uncertainties and the value of caution.

Elegant-Finish-2895 − NTA. No guarantee on backpay. Not with this Admin. Yoy are being responsible.

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[Reddit User] − Cutting into your savings for a lack of funds that you don't need to spend is bonkers, and I am completely on your side. You don't NEED...

You can cut back a bit and maintain your savings, which is afar more important than buying everyone and their dogs a christmas gift. NTA.

Raddatatta − INFO did you make these cuts as a decision with your husband? You guys are married and should discuss and reach a decision.

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I'm not sure if it's a phrasing thing but it sounds to me a bit like you made the decision to tell the kids they can't do activities this winter,...

I do think wanting to cut back is reasonable, but you can't make the financial decisions for the household alone. You two need to get on the same page.

Pale_Cranberry1502 − NTA. You don't know how long it will be until you get the backpay. Every sign indicates that this shutdown is going to be for the long haul....

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Repubs won't talk about healthcare until it's detached from the budget discussion. Everyone's digging in. On top of that, emergencies happen. You're right to tighten the belts, as unfair as...

kierkieri − NTA. We are in the same boat. My husband is a federal employee as well and he makes most of our income.

We’ve had to have some tough conversations with our kids these past few days. This shutdown feels very different than prior shutdowns. It’s smart to conserve the money that you...

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Several offered no-asshole verdicts with practical advice on emergencies and family impact.

No_Location_5565 − NAH. But a couple things to note. The majority of your money comes from your husband’s federal job- this is becoming a more frequent occurrence.

You SHOULD have an accessible emergency savings. In the future consider multiple CDs of a smaller size so the interest loss isn’t a mental hurdle or having a few months...

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But also, this is a conversation you and your husband need to have. Neither of you is an AH for having a different level of concern for the situation provided...

Single_Cancel_4873 − NAH But I wouldn’t forgo my kids activities in the winter though. Winter is a tough time with finding things to do amd keeping kids busy. I would...

EmilyAnn1790 − As a federal employee I just don’t see our employment being secure whether the government is open or not. You should have accessible emergency savings though, just as...

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I’m not sure if all of these measures you’re taking are really necessary because of the shutdown or just the general state of federal employees. NTA.

A couple emphasized joint decisions and thoughtful holiday adjustments.

Tinawebmom − NTA because this shutdown could go on a long time. You are literally planning ahead. Would going on vacation be wonderful? Yup. But eating, mortgage and utilities are...

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robtonka99 − "some people have said I’m being an a__hole by acting like we are poor bc we have the savings" Why would anyone outside your home know anything about...

The couple navigated income loss from the shutdown by jointly tightening spending to alleviate the wife’s anxiety, despite savings and backpay assurances, drawing criticism for appearing overly frugal. Most agree her caution reflects responsibility rather than overreaction in uncertain times.

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How have unexpected income gaps affected your family spending—did you cut deeply or tap savings? Would you prioritize kids’ activities or strict conservation during a temporary financial hit?

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