AITA for avoiding my mom after she told me to “suck it up” when I broke my fingers?

A 20-year-old college student recently found himself in a painful predicament after injuring his left hand at the gym. While in severe pain and fearing he might pass out, he called his mother for help. Known for her unsympathetic attitude toward physical injuries and mental health issues, his mother bluntly told him to “suck it up and rest” instead of urging him to seek medical attention.

Now, three weeks later, he remains conflicted and hurt by her lack of empathy, as she now reaches out asking for updates on his recovery. This article examines whether his decision to avoid his mother following her insensitive response makes him the a**hole or if he is justified in his feelings.

‘AITA for avoiding my mom after she told me to “suck it up” when I broke my fingers?’

Experts in family dynamics and health communication emphasize that support during medical crises is crucial, especially when a loved one is injured. Dr. Laura Jennings, a family psychologist, explains, “When individuals seek support during a health emergency, particularly from a parent, it is natural to expect empathy and guidance. A dismissive response can exacerbate feelings of isolation and distress.”

Dr. Jennings continues, “The student’s decision to avoid further contact with his mother reflects a protective measure for his emotional well-being. While it is not uncommon for parents to sometimes be unsympathetic, consistently devaluing a child’s pain and concerns can have long-term negative impacts on the child’s mental health.”

Additionally, healthcare communication expert Sarah Thompson adds, “It is important for caregivers to balance practical advice with empathy. The mother’s insistence on avoiding the ER due to insurance issues, followed by a dismissive ‘suck it up’ response, not only undermines the seriousness of the injury but also can lead to feelings of betrayal and mistrust. In cases like these, seeking professional medical advice independently—as the student did—is both reasonable and necessary.”

Both experts agree that while the mother’s perspective on avoiding medical costs might have been practical from her point of view, her lack of empathy and dismissive attitude is understandable grounds for her son to reconsider the frequency and nature of their interactions.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit community has largely rallied behind the student, with many commenters urging him to prioritize his health and emotional well-being over maintaining a relationship with an unsupportive parent. One commenter stated, “NTA – you deserve to be heard and supported when you’re in pain.

Your mom’s response was callous, and you have every right to distance yourself until she shows genuine concern.” Another user noted, “I’ve seen similar posts where a parent’s unsympathetic response to a child’s injury leaves lasting emotional scars. Your decision to seek help and to protect your own mental health is completely justified.”

Some voices in the community, however, cautioned that while his anger is understandable, long-term estrangement might have unintended consequences, suggesting that eventually, a calm conversation about boundaries might help repair the relationship. Yet the dominant sentiment is one of support for his decision to step back until his mother can provide the empathy he needs.

In conclusion, this situation underscores the importance of empathy and clear communication during personal health crises. The student’s decision to avoid further contact with his mother, following her dismissive and hurtful response to his injury, is seen by many as a reasonable measure to protect his emotional well-being.

While some argue that eventually addressing these issues may help repair the relationship, the prevailing view is that his reaction is justified given the circumstances. What do you think—should a parent’s unsympathetic response warrant distancing, or is there a way to mend the relationship despite such hurtful behavior? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.