AITA for asking my Wife to Pack up the Unused Nursery so we can use the Space in our Home?

Imagine a home frozen in time, a nursery brimming with hope but gathering dust. For one couple, seven years of waiting for a baby that never came has turned their house into a bittersweet museum. The husband, craving normalcy, dares to suggest packing up the unused nursery to reclaim their dining table and shared life.

His wife, heartbroken, sees it as an attack on her lifelong dream of motherhood. What starts as a practical request ignites a firestorm of emotions. Was he wrong to push for change? Reddit’s buzzing, and we’re diving into this tender tale.

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‘AITA for asking my Wife to Pack up the Unused Nursery so we can use the Space in our Home?’

My (32M) wife (29F) and I have been trying to start a family for seven years. We’ve never had a positive pregnancy test nothing traumatic happened, just no success. Despite this, we’ve had a fully decorated nursery set up the entire time. It’s never been used. My wife has always dreamed of becoming a mother.

It’s been her main focus for most of her life even when we were teenagers, this was her only goal. It’s still something she talks about constantly in therapy, both solo and couples. Recently, she started flipping houses and working as a realtor. This business is great for her, but it’s taken over the house mainly our dining table.

We no longer eat together because of it she eats in front of the TV, I eat at the breakfast bar. I suggested converting the garage into a dedicated office space to give her room and give us our table back. She said no as it would be too expensive. I (maybe foolishly) asked if she’d consider using some of her “family nest egg” money to help fund it, and she flipped.

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I got the couch for a few nights over that. Later, I suggested packing up the unused nursery to free up space and maybe put the baby items into the garage for storage. That also turned into a fight. I calmly explained that I just wanted to eat dinner with her again and maybe help her business by giving her more space.

She said I was “disrespecting her dream” and not making changes to help us have a baby. She brings up how I haven’t gone vegan like her, haven’t cut out caffeine, junk food, or alcohol (I occasionally have a couple drinks with friends not partying too old for that). A few years ago, I got a semen analysis no issues on my end.

I suggested she get checked too she refused. I didn’t push it. It's her medical that isn't life threatening. I also brought up IVF, surrogacy, fostering, and adoption every one of those got shot down. She only wants biological children that she carries herself.

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At this point, I feel like I’m living in a shrine to a life we might never have, while our current life falls apart around it. I’m not saying she has to give up hope, but it’s been seven years. The nursery isn’t helping us start a family it’s stopping us from living in our home.. AITA for asking her to let go of this space and make room for the life we do have?

This couple’s clash over a dusty nursery lays bare a marriage strained by unfulfilled dreams. The husband’s request to repurpose the space wasn’t just about furniture—it was a plea to live in the present. His wife’s fierce reaction shows how deeply her identity is tied to motherhood, making the nursery a symbol of hope she’s not ready to release.

Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples, often straining relationships with unspoken grief. The wife’s refusal to explore medical options or alternatives like IVF suggests she’s stuck, clinging to a vision that’s paralyzing their life. Her blaming his lifestyle choices dodges the real issue: her fear of facing potential medical truths.

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Psychologist Dr. Elaine Rodino, an infertility expert, says, “Couples must grieve together and find new shared goals to move forward.” Here, the husband’s push for change, though clumsy, seeks that shared path. Her resistance, while understandable, risks isolating them further. The nursery isn’t just a room—it’s a wedge.

They need honest dialogue, perhaps with a counselor’s help, to unpack their grief and redefine their future. The husband’s garage project and filing cabinet move signal he’s reclaiming his space, but mutual compromise—like slowly repurposing the nursery together—could rebuild their bond.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s community didn’t hold back, offering empathy, tough love, and a few sharp truths for this struggling couple. Here’s what they had to say, straight from the heart:

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Longjumping_Lynx9163 − Your wife should probably find a new therapist because this isn’t healthy.

alittleconfusedt − NTA. 7 years of infertility, you got a semen analysis, and she refuses to get an evaluation on her end? That’s ridiculous. A baby isn’t going to just spawn of of thin air, and there’s no point in having a decorated nursery that isn’t being used when other spaces in your house are cluttered.

I know infertility can be a sensitive topic for most people, but she doesn’t seem to be doing anything that is moving you both in the direction of parenthood besides decorating a room for a baby that doesn’t exist.

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SirEDCaLot − A few years ago, I got a semen analysis no issues on my end. I suggested she get checked too she refused. I didn’t push it. It's her medical that isn't life threatening.. Not life threatening, but it is *marriage* threatening. You should put it to her like if you want biological children then we need to go to a doctor and figure out what's going on.

Because I've been to a doctor, and we're still having lots of s**, and no pregnancy. So let's see if there's something that can be fixed so we can actually put a kid in that nursery, okay? If she keeps refusing, after several rounds of encouraging positive attempts, then challenge her- tell her that you think you should pack up the nursery because she's obviously not serious about children.

If she was serious about getting pregnant, she'd *want* to go to a doctor together with you to make this happen. But since she refuses that means she's obviously not serious about pregnancy so there's no point wasting a whole room on something she's not serious about.

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That will get her mad. That's good. So challenge her to prove you wrong. Tell her if you're so wrong, if she is actually serious, then let's call the doctor and figure out how to get pregnant. Otherwise she's just mad you told the truth.. If that doesn't work, time for marriage counseling.

GrouchyBear_99 − Your 'marriage' is falling apart and she's grasping at any reason to blame the miserable state of your relationship on you (you're not vegan! you ate potato chips! you had a beer! something's wrong with YOU despite you getting a clean bill of health while I hide/deny that any of this falls on me).

I pray that you find your self respect among the encroaching crap her 'business' is creating. Maybe under the couch you sleep on or by the breakfast bar where you eat? You folding every time she shoots down anything you bring up must be exhausting. Find a therapist for yourself and get to the root as to why you continue to just let her berate you.

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Derp_invest − Does she know IVF children can be biologically hers?? That’s wild to be acting like this and not looking into it

CarpeCyprinidae − I got the couch for a few nights over that. Well part of the issue is that you accepted being sent to the couch for making a perfectly reasonable suggestion. Don't do that again when you haven't done anything wrong - learn to say No.

candigirl16 − NTA, if your wife wanted children that badly she would get checked out to find out if there is an underlying issue. I have 2 children through ivf, they are biologically my and my husbands children and I carried them, it didn’t make us love them less because of how they were conceived, if anything is shows how much we wanted them because of everything we went through to have them.

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jessiieehe1 − NTA. The nursery has become symbolic. For her, it’s hope. For you, it’s stagnation. This kind of emotional mismatch needs to be handled delicately but also directly. You’ve already compromised a lot—emotionally and physically. If she refuses therapy or discussion around realistic next steps (medical help, alternatives to bio-kids), then the issue is deeper than just furniture or space. You need alignment as partners.

BudgetGanache16 − Having a fully decorated nursery while not even being pregnant is concerning and really not indicative of a healthy psyche

Dry-Huckleberry-5379 − Even if she magically gets pregnant tomorrow, it sounds like she isn't in a mentally healthy place to be a parent. Having her own baby so she can live the perfect storybook life she's been planning for the last decade has become an obsession. And what happens when that perfect storybook falls apart some other way?

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Like the child is disabled? Trans? Gay? I'm not saying she is a bigot, it's more; she's built this fantasy of this baby and she's showing in her actions that she's not prepared to be rational and will work to maintain the fantasy at any cost. All it might take for her fantasy to implode is a baby who won't sleep independently (which is most babies) in that perfect nursery.

In 7 years of desperately wanting a baby of her own has she done anything to learn about babies and parenting? To learn about safe sleep guidelines (babies should sleep in the same room as a caregiver till 6-12 months btw so that nursery is useless anyway) or brain development or milestones

or unpacking your own childhood so you can parent without trauma triggers? Does she show interest in older kids?. Essentially, does she want an actual child who grows up? Does she actually want to parent?. Or does she want a baby reborn doll?. Maybe I'm off the mark, but her actions are giving vibes.

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These Reddit voices are raw and real, but do they hit the mark? Is the nursery a shrine or a stepping stone?

This story of a nursery frozen in time reminds us that love means navigating dreams and disappointments together. The husband’s push to move forward clashed with his wife’s grief, but their recent talk offers hope for healing. Repurposing the nursery could be their first step toward a shared future. So, readers, what’s your view? Have you faced a dream that held you back? How would you bridge this gap? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation going!

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