AITA for asking my pregnant SIL to leave the family Christmas gathering?

In a festive living room aglow with Christmas lights, a woman hosting a lively family gathering faced an unexpected challenge: her pregnant sister-in-law, wincing through contractions, was stealing the holiday cheer. As kids tore into gifts and relatives swapped stories, the host, a seasoned mom, recognized the signs of labor and worried the party was no place for a delivery.

Her discreet request for the sister-in-law to leave sparked a firestorm—angry glares, harsh words, and a ruined Christmas vibe. Was she wrong to prioritize the party’s comfort over her sister-in-law’s stubborn presence? This tale of holiday chaos and tough calls dives into the delicate balance of family gatherings and personal boundaries.

‘AITA for asking my pregnant SIL to leave the family Christmas gathering?’

Okay so based on title I totally sound like an a**hole but hear me out. So this year is our turn to host the family Christmas party at our home. We invited not only my SOs side but also my side as well. Overall it was around 20ish people in our home today for gift giving and typical American Christmas celebrating. Drinks were shared, food broken, the whole shebang.

Amongst my SOs side of the family was his pregnant sister. She, I think, was due maybe a week or so ago? But really its just been ticking time bomb for her little one to arrive. Everybodys excited to meet the baby! Now our problem is that SIL came to the party with contractions and was obviously in labor (I know this because Im a mom myself - once you know, you know).

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Every 20 minutes or so she would start having pains and would make noises to pass the contractions. At first it wasnt so bad; I understand how sucky it is and you dont want to go to the hospital too soon because they'll just send you right home. But then it became almost obnoxious. I feel terrible for saying that but it really was.

A lot of my family members and some of hers were glancing around like WTF? Go home and do that in private. After a while it became apparent that it was making everybody uncomfortable and even my MIL reccommend that she rest at home before it gets too late.

She refused and said she was fine. In the middle of the kids opening their presents she went into pain again and this time she even screamed for a second. I then discreetly pulled her husband to the side and told them to leave. I did it politely ('Hey I appreciate you guys for being here but I think its time to go.

I dont want you guys to give birth in our kitchen! lol'). After I said that her husband got angry and quickly got her and the kids packed up. She visibly upset and before heading out called me a b**ch and said that I ruined Christmas for her.

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A few of their sides family members gave me dirty looks and left soon after. Im torn on this: I wanted everybody to have a good day but it was very distracting and obnoxious to have her around. I feel bad but still.. tl;dr -- I asked SIL to leave family Christmas party because she was in labor.

Asking a laboring family member to leave a holiday gathering is a tough call, but the host’s concern for her guests’ comfort wasn’t baseless. The sister-in-law’s contractions disrupted the festive mood, yet her refusal to leave and subsequent outburst escalated tensions. The host, a mother herself, acted out of practicality, while the SIL prioritized staying for the celebration.

This scenario mirrors broader issues of social etiquette during medical emergencies. A 2022 study by the Journal of Social Psychology found 65% of people feel uncomfortable when personal events overshadow group gatherings (tandfonline.com). Dr. Elaine Rodino, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Setting boundaries at social events is valid, but delivery matters—empathy can prevent conflict” (psychologytoday.com). The host’s lighthearted approach was polite, but the SIL’s reaction suggests hurt feelings.

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Advice: The host could follow up with a calm apology for any misunderstanding, explaining her intent to keep the party enjoyable. Open communication with the SIL and her husband could mend ties.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s got some fiery takes on this Christmas party drama, and they’re not holding back! Here’s what the community said about the laboring SIL’s exit:

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Gremlin95x - NTA - She making everyone uncomfortable and is being disruptive. I get that she doesn’t want to miss christmas, but she’s having no consideration for anyone else.

Bango-TSW - NTA.who the f**k thinks it’s appropriate to carry on at a party if their partner is having contractions. He should have got her in the car up to the maternity ward ASAP.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. I get that she’s in labor but have a little situational awareness - if you’re a) in a medical situation and b) making everyone uncomfortable, it’s time to go home. Especially if it’s not her first baby; you can go from 0 to 60 pretty quickly.

hmg3b2d1h - NTA. A party is not a place to be going through early labor, it makes things awkward for everyone, and if her water broke that's a big mess for you to clean up.

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pidgeononachair - Nobody was TA until she was super rude to you afterwards, now NTA. If she’s having contractions 20 mins apart that can go on for DAYS. Life does have to carry on. My question is was everyone uncomfortable or were you uncomfortable and assuming pointed looks were people agreeing with you?

boopbooptoot - NTA. She shouldn’t have been insisting on staying when she is clearly in pain and having contractions and it got to the point that she basically screamed! If that isn’t a sign to either go home or head to the hospital, I don’t know what is. From the info you’ve given, it didn’t seem as if you were trying to be rude when you told the husband that it’s time for them to go.

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I get that it might suck to be told it’s time to leave on a day like today, but the fact they wanted to stay when she was clearly in pain is concerning to me? And the fact you were called a b**ch in front of everyone is just outright mean. So yeah, I wouldn’t say you’re an a**hole.

Rivertulippearl - INFO: From your post it sounds like she already has at least two youngish kids, What was her plan for the kids when she went into labor? Wouldn't it have made sense to leave the kids at your house with you or with her parents? Did they drop them off at the other grandparents? It seems like she wanted her kids to have their Christmas celebration.

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WhoShotTupac - Info: Why didn’t your SO handle it?

OttoManSatire - NTA. Said that I ruined Christmas for her.. ...Ok... but she was ruining Christmas for everybody else, so...

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animeisalright - NTA she really needed to go even if it hurt her feelings. It’s not like you were malicious, she was in labor and should have prepped for going to the hospital at that time. Her husband on the other hand is a baby, I’d let them apologize to you.

These Reddit opinions are bold, but do they capture the full story? Was the host out of line, or was the SIL’s stubbornness the real issue?

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This story of a Christmas party upended by a laboring sister-in-law is a festive clash of boundaries and empathy. Was the host right to prioritize her guests’ comfort, or should she have let the SIL stay? It’s a tricky balance of family ties and social grace. What would you do if a guest’s medical moment disrupted your holiday? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation merry!

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