AITA for asking my partner’s sister to reimburse our flights after agreeing to babysit her toddler for a week?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine a couple, wallets tight and PTO precious, agreeing to fly across the country to babysit a beloved 1.5-year-old nephew for a week, freeing his parents for an international getaway. The plan seemed simple: stay at the parents’ home, care for the toddler, and enjoy family time. But when the couple hinted at flight reimbursement, expecting it for such a big favor, the sister balked, citing her own financial strain. Now, tension simmers, with the couple feeling taken for granted and the sister acting like they crossed a line.

This isn’t just about plane tickets—it’s a tangle of family obligations, unspoken assumptions, and the cost of kindness. Did the couple err in asking for reimbursement, or are they right to feel used? Reddit’s AITA community steps into this family fray, dissecting communication and fairness. Let’s unpack this high-flying favor gone awry.

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‘AITA for asking my partner’s sister to reimburse our flights after agreeing to babysit her toddler for a week?’

My partner and I agreed to fly out to watch her 1.5-year-old nephew for a week while his parents go on an international vacation. The trip has been planned for a while, and they asked her if we could stay at their place and take care of him while they’re away.

We both love the little guy and were happy to help—but we’re starting to feel a bit weird about how it’s playing out. We wouldn’t be making this trip if it weren’t for the babysitting. We’re in saving mode right now and weren’t planning to travel.

So we assumed (maybe incorrectly) that the parents would offer to cover our flights, since we’re using our PTO and giving up a week to help them out. When my partner brought it up, her sister said she “wished she’d known sooner” and that they’re broke after paying for the trip. Now there’s this underlying tension, like we were out of line for even asking.

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I’ve stayed out of the conversation myself—this has all been between my partner and her sister—but I’m supporting her, and we’re both starting to feel taken for granted. It’s not about trying to make money off the situation. But it’s hard not to feel a little used when we’re doing them a huge favor and covering our own travel just so they can go on vacation.. AITA?

Offering to babysit a toddler for a week is no small gesture, especially when it involves flights and PTO. The couple’s assumption that travel costs would be covered wasn’t unreasonable, but their failure to clarify upfront set the stage for this fallout. The sister’s claim of being “broke” after funding an international trip, while expecting free childcare, leans entitled, yet her surprise at the reimbursement request suggests mutual miscommunication.

Dr. Pauline Boss, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Unspoken expectations in families often breed resentment—clear agreements are essential” . The sister’s financial excuse, post-vacation planning, strains credibility, but the couple’s late ask put her on the defensive.

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The couple could mend this by acknowledging the misstep while restating their effort: “We love helping, but flights were a big cost for us.” Offering to split costs might ease tension. For future favors, Dr. Boss advises written agreements, even with family, to avoid hurt. The sister should recognize the couple’s sacrifice—PTO and travel aren’t free.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit swooped in like a family reunion with opinions aplenty, tossing blame and lessons in equal measure. It’s like a potluck where everyone’s got a spicy take. Here’s the unfiltered buzz:

Momadvice1982 − Esh. You for not asking about reimbursemenf before agreeing and booking your flights. Your inlaws for not making the conditions more clear and expecting you to pay for the privilige of babysitting their child. . Lesson learned: don't agree with anything before it's clear what the conditions are.

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barbaramillicent − ESH. I can’t imagine asking my sibling to pay for to fly in and take a week of PTO to watch my kid without any sort of reimbursement or compensation. That’s insane. But also, this would have been all avoided if you would have just asked before buying the flights.

“We’d love to come watch nephew, but money is tight right now. Will you cover the flights?” And if they declined, you could have declined to come. You should never expect anyone to cover anything if it isn’t stated. It sucks and I know nobody wants to think that way about their loved ones, but it’s how it is.

loolilool − ESH. It was bold of them to assume you would be willing to take PTO and pay for your own flight to take care of their kid. But it was foolish of you to assume they were paying without discussing it.. You all get an F in communication.

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RumSoakedChap − I don’t know why you would agree to fly somewhere without being clear on who was paying for it. I mean you guys are NTA but this should have been discussed before anything was booked.

Existing_Fox_6317 − NTA. I find it shocking that someone would expect anyone to use PTO and buy a flight to spend a week babysitting someone else’s kid. Not only should they have paid the flight but they should also be compensating you for your time. And why the hell are “broke” people going on an international vacation when they have a baby to care for? They should have savings. They can’t afford this trip.

SnooPets8873 − ESH this is something that you talk about, not assume and then stay silent until the plans are hard to rework.

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Reasonable-Sale8611 − Why on earth are you using your PTO to babysit their child? PTO is precious!!!!!!!! They have a kid now. Normally what parents do when they go on vacation is take their kid with them. Why can't they do that??????

0l0l00l − NAH. This all really should have been worked out before agreeing to go babysit. Generally, payment terms and logistics are worked out at the outset. The fact that it hasn't been and both parties just assumed that the other would assume the cost is exactly why these types of issues get resolved on the front end.

Defer to your partner - for this one time, I'd assume that it was a miscommunication on all fronts. The next time, however, this should be addressed. If the sibling ever gets offended or demands that you do something without payment, I'd certainly stop offering.

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Dense-Passion-2729 − ESH the details should have all been worked out ahead of agreeing

heelthrow − INFO: Why did you not discuss all if this stuff before agreeing to go there, and before buying the tickets?

Redditors mostly sided with the couple, shocked at the sister’s expectation of free travel, but many dinged both sides for poor communication. Some called the parents irresponsible for vacation splurges; others urged the couple to clarify terms first next time. But do these takes clear the air, or just stir family drama?

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The couple’s request for flight reimbursement was fair in spirit but fumbled in execution, leaving them feeling used and the sister defensive. A simple pre-trip chat could’ve grounded this favor, but now both sides are stuck in turbulence. As the couple weighs their next move, they’re asking Reddit: Were they wrong to ask for travel costs after babysitting their nephew? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep this family chat soaring!

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