AITA for asking my inlaws the same questions they ask me?

A cozy family dinner takes a sharp turn when a bride-to-be, fed up with her in-laws’ relentless personal questions, flips the script. From weight to homeownership to baby plans, their nosy inquiries hit like a barrage of arrows. Instead of biting her tongue, she fires back with the same questions, turning their probing into a mirror of awkwardness.

The table falls silent, faces redden, and her fiancé’s scolding later stings. Reddit’s buzzing with takes on this spicy showdown, diving into the messy dance of family boundaries and witty comebacks.

‘AITA for asking my inlaws the same questions they ask me?’

Hello reddit. I F/30 got engaged to my fiancé a month ago. My inlaws (especially MIL) are the type of people that ask a lot of questions, personal questions at that. Their questions tend tj be hurtful sometimes but I tried not to get easily offended and mistake it personal' but those questions are getting out of control.

Instead of lashing out and being rude I've decided to answer these questions by turning it back on my inlaws and asking them the same questions they ask me. For example...whenever my fiance and I are visiting. My SIL would ask 'hey when are you going to lose those pounds?!!' I go 'when are YOU going to lose those pounds!??!, you've put up a LOT of weight recently'

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While pointing at her eyes wide open. She'd get then 'easily offended'. FIL would ask 'when are you going to get your own house?!?!' I go 'when are YOU going to get your own house?!?!?, aren't you 73 and still paying rent for your house?!?!' (They live in rental house). He gets 'highly offended'

BIL would ask ' when are you going yo get married?!?!' I go 'when are YOU going to get married?!?!...you don't even have a girlfriend yet!!!!'. They've obviously picked up on my 'vibe' but the blowup occurred last night when my fiance and I were at their house for dinner.

MIL looked at me whole I was eating and went on about kids and grandchildren she then asked 'when are you going to start giving us babies???' My fiance looked at me with in an 'oh boy' type of way. I felt no hesitation  I looked at her and said 'when are YOU going to start giving us babies, that's what I wanna know!!!.

The table went quite though some family members laughed. MIL and her daughter and husband mad all types of angry faces then dinner was over. I got scolded by my fiance on the way home telling me I was being rude with the way I talk back and respond to his families innocent questions (yeah questions they've already asked a million times before [hard eyeroll] but whatever).

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We got into an argument and he then looked at me and said 'why are you bring hostile?' I said 'why are YOU bring hostile getting in my face and yelling?!?!' He yelled at me again saying I'm driving him crazy and called me childish and an immature then stormed  off to the bathroom.. AITA really?

Family dinners should be warm, not warzones. The bride-to-be’s tactic of mirroring her in-laws’ invasive questions was a bold move to reclaim her space. Their queries—about weight, housing, and babies—crossed boundaries, and her retorts exposed their double standards. Her fiancé’s defense of his family as “innocent” overlooks her discomfort, highlighting a deeper issue of loyalty.

This reflects broader patterns of family overreach. A 2022 Pew Research study found 47% of engaged couples report in-law conflicts over personal boundaries. Her approach, while cheeky, underscores the need for mutual respect.

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Dr. Harriet Lerner, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Clear boundaries protect relationships by fostering respect”. The bride’s strategy was effective but escalated tensions. She could clarify her need for respect calmly, urging her fiancé to mediate.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s serving up a buffet of opinions, and they’re as fiery as the dinner table clash. Here’s what they said:

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[Reddit User] - NTA. Are you sure you’re excited to become a part of this family? They kinda treat you like s**t…. And your fiancé doesn’t have your back. Is this really how you want to live the rest of your life? Can you IMAGINE how awful they will be if you decide to have children?. I can hear SIL now, “When are you gonna lose the baby weight?”

Own-Tradition6295 - NTA just because this is too funny and if your fiance can't see that himself, let him answer all future questions his family choose to throw at you, just keep eating or doing whatever you were doing when asked and leave him in the hot seat. ❤️

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cecassafrass - NTA. There’s a lot of adages for this nosiness that you could use here… “don’t dish what you can’t take.” “Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers.” “What goes around comes around.” “You reap what you sow.” But I think I’m just gonna go with an old quote from an unknown source… “When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there. Just in case it needs help.”

Laines_Ecossaises - NTA I get that you were frustrated and just wanted to prove a point that they clearly didn't get. My issue is with the fiance. He knows these questions are invasive and upset you. Why is he letting his family off the hook saying they are 'innocent questions'. Why do their feelings matter more than yours?. This is a glimpse into your future, the time to address it is now.

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jammy913 - NTA. Really you're hilarious. This is such an ingenious way of showing people that what they say was out of bounds. They're all angry because you were effective. Your SO knew it was coming, that's why he had that look on his face. While it might be a bit silly to ask people in their 70s when they'll give babies, I think the spirit in which you asked it was downright hilarious.. It also goes along with a belief of mine. 'Don't dish it out if you can't take it.'

GrayDottedPony - NTA and that's brilliant. If they get enraged or offended I'd double down and say? Why are you offered? If you think this question is offending, why did you ask me that? And if you think I should answer that and not feel offended myself, why don't you answer first?

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Darth_Hufflepuff - ESH

katiedoesntsharefood - ESH You do sound hostile af

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kjm16216 - NTA. If you dish it out, you gotta be able to take it.

dolltentacle - NTA. but it looks like you have a fiance problem

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Talk about a zinger-filled evening! Reddit’s split, but the laughter and gasps show this story hit a nerve. Are her in-laws just nosy, or is there a deeper rift? The bride-to-be’s got wit, but her fiancé’s reaction steals the spotlight.

Family dynamics are like a tightrope—one wrong step, and you’re in freefall. The bride-to-be’s clapbacks at her in-laws’ nosy questions lit up a family dinner, but her fiancé’s scolding left her questioning. Was she brilliant or out of line? How would you handle a barrage of personal questions from family? Drop your thoughts below and let’s dish!

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