AITA for asking for my money back from my brother gf for never delivering the art I commissioned?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a small apartment, a 29-year-old woman scrolls through her phone, her thumb hovering over a message to her brother’s girlfriend. Months ago, she paid $170 for a Mother’s Day art commission, envisioning a heartfelt gift for her mum. But November’s here, and there’s no painting—just excuses and silence. Her polite nudges ignored, she’s now weighing a refund demand or even small claims court, risking family ties for what’s rightfully hers.

This Reddit tale is a spicy mix of broken promises and family tension, where a botched art deal tests trust. It hooks readers with its blend of personal betrayal and the gutsy threat of legal action. Can she reclaim her money without burning bridges in a family already on edge?

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‘AITA for asking for my money back from my brother gf for never delivering the art I commissioned?’

I (29f) saw in March my brothers gf (f24) who I know is a artist was asking people if they wanted comissions . I asked her to make me some for Mother’s Day (may ) and she agreed but told me since she is professional artist I needed to pay all upfront and it may take a few months as not her usual style which I agreed as March is early days for may .

So I did (170aud) here it is now November and nothing . I’ve prompted her three times and there was an excuse one time that was valid where her grandfather had died a few weeks earlier and she said she wasn’t painting at the time .

I’ve heard from my brother she is actively painting comissions again but is doing the ones that inspire her so mine hasn’t been touched . I’ve had it , I haven’t seen a draft an update nothing . I like by myself and the rent isn’t cheap so this isn’t play money to me and my mum was already upset she didn’t get her gift and I just think I’d be better elsewhere so I sent a message asking if she can’t deliver by Christmas to refund me.

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She has read it and not responded . I plan to ask again and than if no response take her to small claims court seeing she clearly thinks she can just not pay me or deliver and keep the money. I’m being told that would be an a**hole move as it’s my brothers gf and I should just learn a lesson of being nice to people .

I feel she owes me as an artist to deliver her work or pay me back but most of all I find her ignoring me very unprofessional and this hurts me as I did think we were friends.. Tl;dr commissioned art never got delivered. It’s my brothers gf, planning to sue her.

This artist’s failure to deliver isn’t just unprofessional—it’s a breach of trust. Taking full payment upfront and then ghosting a client, especially a family friend, screams bad faith. Psychology Today notes that unmet expectations in business dealings can erode personal relationships, amplifying her hurt.

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Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology professor, says, “Integrity in agreements builds trust.” A 2023 American Psychological Association study shows broken contracts, even small ones, can cause significant stress, validating her push for a refund. The girlfriend’s selective painting only for “inspiration” after pocketing $170 is, frankly, grift.

She should send a formal refund demand, citing her attempts to resolve, as Consumer Affairs advises, and give her brother a heads-up to avoid drama. If ignored, small claims court is fair—business is business. The girlfriend must learn accountability, and she deserves her money back, no brushstrokes required.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit squad swooped in like art critics with pitchforks, serving up outrage and applause for her stand. It’s like an art gallery opening where everyone’s got a fiery opinion. Here’s the raw vibe from the crowd:

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[Reddit User] − NTA, that's just theft. I'm an artist who does commissions, and asking for all pay up front is weird to me. I've never heard of that. All artists I know take a percentage as first payment, and take the rest before sending the final piece.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I would have asked for the money back in May. It doesn’t sound like she’s very professional to me and professionals also don’t typically take full payments upfront either and they certainly don’t go 6 months past deadlines while doing projects they accepted after yours. If she doesn’t want to do the project then she needs to return the money.

Caligusads − NTA - She herself said she wants to be paid Ike a professional artist, time she acts like one.

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PrettyFly4AYaoGuai − NTA. She wanted to be paid like a professional, that means delivering like a professional. You can't just pocket someone's money and then claim lack of inspiration. 170 dollars is pretty damn inspiring if you want to continue being in business.

caletitanomas − NTA - but give your brother a heads up before taking her to small claims if you can

XaryenMaelstrom − NTA. That's what refunding is for. To get your money back if the work is not a) completed b) delivered or c) broken/wrong. Just because it's someone's gf means nothing. She offered a service, you paid for it and she didn't deliver what was promised.

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She is effectively a thief. Edit: I'd like to note that I know no artists that demand payment upfront. Even I don't do that. I ask for payment in parts if I don't know the person. If I do and know I can trust them I ask at the end before I send it (they have seen it though).

mymermaidisadog − NTA a sleezy move like that is a blight on the artist community. I'm sure if roles were reversed they would be demanding product or a refund. Not a lesson for you, it's a much needed lesson in integrity for this thief. At this point I would just want my money back, any art she produces would probably be uninspired crap.

Solenthis87 − NTA. You commissioned a service, and she has not delivered. If this were any other product and anyone else, I doubt that your family would question the refund; that's how a free market works. But because it's your brother's gf, you're just expected to take the loss?

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Not to mention, if she is trying to make money as an artist then she knows very well that she can't be picky once she has accepted payment. If she's only doing the commissions that 'inspire her' then I'm sorry, but she's not an artist; she's a grifter that just so happens to paint.

MoonChica − Business is business is business! NTA, her being your brother’s girlfriend has nothing to do with the business arrangement you two had. Either she pays up or finishes her commission. If not, then take her to small claims court. It’s the principle of the matter. Also your brother is T A for not making her do the responsible thing.

fizzle365 − NTA you commissioned a Mother's Day gift. You're being generous to wait until Christmas. She can't even make that deadline? Any other person would have disputed the charge. She's taking advantage of your relationship.

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Redditors slammed the girlfriend’s dodge as theft, urging court if needed and calling her “professional” claim a sham. Some nudged her to warn her brother first. But do these hot takes capture the whole canvas, or just splash paint on the drama?

This story is a vivid reminder that even family ties don’t excuse shoddy business. Her push for a refund is a stand for fairness, not pettiness, despite the girlfriend’s silence painting her as the villain. It’s a tale that begs us to weigh trust against accountability. Ever been stiffed on a deal by someone close? Share your story below—let’s color in this mess!

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