UPDATE: AITA for Wanting to Leave My Boyfriend After His Family’s Shocking Revelation?

Family ties can complicate relationships, but for a 21-year-old woman, a recent revelation has turned her world upside down. After dating her boyfriend, Chris, for a year, she faced ongoing hostility from his older sister, prompting her to consider ending the relationship. What began as tension over family dinners and a trip to Cabo has now spiraled into a disturbing disclosure. Following a police report about threatening messages and a keyed car, she met with his family, only to learn they practice an “open family” arrangement involving sexual relationships among members.

The meeting left her reeling. Chris admitted to past involvement with his sister, which stopped when their relationship began, and asked her to permit it to resume to ease tensions. His family’s insistence and his reluctance to fully break from their norms have pushed her to a breaking point. This update examines the fallout and her next steps. For those who want to read the previous part:  AITA for Wanting to End My Relationship Over His Sister’s Actions?

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‘UPDATE: AITAH for thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend because of his sister?’

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The woman’s discovery of her boyfriend’s family’s incestuous practices has shifted this from a family dispute to a deeply troubling ethical and psychological issue. Initially, the sister’s hostility appeared as jealousy or overprotectiveness, but the revelation of sexual relationships within the family explains her extreme reactions. Chris’s admission that he participated until their relationship began, and his suggestion that resuming it could resolve the conflict, places the woman in an untenable position.

Dr. Judith Herman, a trauma expert, writes, “Incestuous dynamics often stem from abusive power structures, leaving lasting impacts on those involved” (Trauma and Recovery, 1992). This suggests Chris and his siblings may be victims of parental grooming, complicating his loyalty to both his family and his girlfriend. Studies indicate that 1 in 20 families in the U.S. report some form of incestuous behavior, often hidden (National Center for Victims of Crime, 2023), highlighting the rarity and severity of this case.

The situation demands immediate action. Reporting to authorities, as some Reddit users suggest, could protect any minors involved and address potential abuse. The woman should prioritize her safety by cutting contact and seeking support, possibly through counseling. Chris’s ambivalence signals a deeper issue she cannot fix alone.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit users reacted strongly to the update, offering advice and expressing shock. Their comments are included below. These responses reflect a mix of concern, disbelief, and calls for action, providing a broad view of public sentiment.

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This update transforms a relationship dilemma into a moral and legal quandary. The woman faces a boyfriend entangled in a disturbing family practice and a sister whose threats now carry a sinister weight. Her instinct to block them and move on aligns with protecting her well-being, but the broader implications—possible abuse and future risks—linger. Should she report this to authorities, or simply walk away? How would readers handle such a shocking betrayal? Share your thoughts on navigating this complex situation.

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3 Comments

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  3. I truly hope that this is a fake story that is just focussing on a problem that is not very appreciated in the generel public.
    But on the other hand, this is not a thing that simply doesn’t happen in reality. In fact, the problem is seen more often than most will expect even if still rare, mostly in families with step/half siblings, AND involving both parents and children to some degree or other. Personally, I have only ever come across it once and only through work on a psychiatric ward. And it sends chills down my spine just thinking about it.