This New Mom Had Enough of Her Friend’s Passive-Aggressive Diet Advice, So She Pulled the Ultimate Weight-Loss Prank

We all know that exhausting feeling when a friend starts offering unsolicited advice disguised as helpful concern. For one new mother navigating her postpartum journey, this boundary-crossing reached a whole new level when her well-meaning but overbearing friend became obsessed with her physical appearance.

After gaining 50 pounds during her pregnancy, she expected some physical changes, but she certainly did not expect her social circle to turn into a high-pressure toxic friendships challenge.

Instead of directly addressing the weight gain, her friend took a passive-aggressive route, swapping out fun party snacks for raw vegetables and constantly pushing exercise regimens.

Despite the new mother making it clear that she was perfectly comfortable in her own skin, the relentless health support didn’t stop. That is when she decided to play a long, brilliant game of psychological chess to teach her friend a lesson. Rather than engaging in an endless cycle of arguments, she chose to let her friend’s own assumptions do the heavy lifting.

Curious how it all unfolded? The full story is right below.

This New Mom Had Enough of Her Friend’s Passive-Aggressive Diet Advice, So She Pulled the Ultimate Weight-Loss Prank

I lied to my friend who was annoying me with indirect weight-loss talk and made her look foolish.

I posted this on AITA a few days ago, and someone suggested I crosspost it here because it is indeed a petty revenge story.

This happened a while ago.

I was 39 then and gained about 50 pounds when I was pregnant.

My friend M, who was 55, had no kids herself, so she had no first-hand clue about how some people's bodies can change.

M was careful not to say anything directly about my weight, but I could tell how she felt because she made lots of comments about diet and exercise.

I figured I would lose weight breastfeeding, as I had with my other babies.

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However, they were born when I lived in a different city from M, so she didn't see me in person then.

When I went over to M's house before, she used to offer me snacks like chips.

But now she started offering me only things like cut veggies with zero-calorie dip.

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She tried to convince me to go on walks with her, but I was exhausted.

I had to go back to work full-time, and I got enough exercise already, so I almost always said no.

A classic recipe for social friction: a major life transition met with unsolicited, passive-aggressive lifestyle policing. When a new mother is navigating the exhaustion of postpartum life, the last thing she needs is a friend subtly monitoring her plate.

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Once, I even spotted some chips in her kitchen and said, 'Can I please get a few of those?' She said no, those were her husband's, so I couldn't have...

Okay, fine—even though they were never off-limits to me before I got fat! I knew she meant well, but after months of her pushing me to 'live healthier' (meaning, lose...

I was already eating healthy and exercising when I could, and the baby weight was indeed coming off from breastfeeding.

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I reached a point where I was really tired of M's 'support.' So when she started pushing exercise and nutrition, I told her, 'My body is different from having a...

So here is where I might be the AH.

I started telling her outright that I hadn't lost any of the baby weight.

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An ingenious psychological experiment: letting someone’s preconceptions blind them to the literal reality standing right in front of them. It is fascinating how bias can override visual evidence when someone is determined to play the savior role.

This was a lie.

I had dropped about 15 pounds, then 20.

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Then after about a year, when I weaned my son, I had lost it all, and I fit into most of my old clothes.

Yet, I was still saying to M, 'I'm happy the way I am, even at my new weight!' And M kept going on and on with the diet and exercise...

I had stopped finding it annoying at this point and started finding it funny.

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One day, a mutual friend said to M that I was looking good lately after losing weight, and M insisted to her that I hadn't lost any at all.

The friend pointed out that I was obviously much thinner, and she said M probably hadn't seen me lately.

But she had just seen me the day before.

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So the next time I met M, she asked, 'Did you lose weight and not tell me?' I said, 'Yeah, maybe a bit?' She thought I was the AH for...

But I said, 'Come on, you have eyes that work just fine!'

Instead of noticing me getting thinner right in front of her face, she somehow got stuck in her mindset that I needed 'support' to be healthier—and as a result, she...

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For the record, I was voted NTA on AITA, but I think I was a little bit of an AH because my friend did truly mean well.

However, she wouldn't stop even after I asked her to multiple times, in multiple ways, to stop commenting on my health habits.

I should also say that my friend is childfree very much by choice, so her behavior wasn't rooted in jealousy.

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Also, she is an otherwise lovely person, and years later, she is still in my life and has never done anything intrusive and annoying like that again.

Even though I've put on some weight over the years, she's stayed silent about it.

So maybe she learned her lesson? To everyone telling me what a jerk I was, why do you read petty revenge stories if you don't want to hear about people...

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Community Opinions

The community backed the poster almost unanimously, with many celebrating her clever psychological play while a few debated the ethics of her white lie.

u/jschadwell I mean, you didn't lie to her. You were happy with your body at your new weight every single time. She just didn't want to notice that your weight...

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u/Jindalee_WA
M sounds like a "friend" you need to dump.  Who behaves like that?

u/Lara_haha
This is the only example of gaslighting I've supported! She deserved every moment of embarrassment.

u/AChromaticHeavn FWIW, you're not an AH for not pointing out to her that you lost weight (or didn't). It's none of her GD business what you weigh, or whether you...

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u/AimlessThunder
Why would a friend be obsessed over your weight?
Sure, I get it as a friend you want what's best for your buddy, but there are some limits.

u/DynkoFromTheNorth
Are you now continually telling her to get her eyes tested and sight corrected? Serves her right.

u/seagull321 A version of Dear Abby’s or Ann Lander’s”Why would you ask a question like that?” which likely fits much of what people at throwing at you is, “Why would...

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u/FecalPlume
If you have to gaslight your friend to keep her from fat-shaming you, you need new friends.

u/Minimum-Arachnid-190
What a wonderful way to call out her fat shaming.

u/Any_Significance_729 M is THE "A". Completely. Those are not actions of a friend. At all. She wasn't trying to help. She is obviously very bad at making connections, and the...

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u/Teknista
Can't even imagine keeping a straight face to pull off a long con like that.

u/wasted_wonderland
She bullied and fat shamed a new mother for months and acts offended when called out, this person is NOT your friend.

u/EmbarrassedSpray9 I guess I'm in the minority here but I argue that M , perhaps flawed in her approach, doesn't deserve to be dumped as a friend and roasted at...

u/Durzo_Blintt
Shes 55 and acting 18. She takes more interest in your body than I do of my own.

u/Joints_outthe_window I am a child free woman who is big on fitness and your friend is well intended but 1000% a jerk. My own fitness journey taught me how personal...

Some commenters, however, took a softer stance, suggesting that while the friend crossed major lines, her underlying intentions might have come from a clumsy place of love.

Navigating postpartum body changes is challenging enough without having to dodge constant commentary from your social circle. While some might view the author’s silent protest as a form of manipulation, others see it as a necessary shield against relentless fat-shaming.

Ultimately, the situation served as a quiet wake-up call that restored peace to their long-term friendship.

Do you think the author went too far by letting her friend believe a lie, or was this the perfect way to expose her intrusive behavior? How would you handle a close friend who refuses to stop commenting on your weight?

Drop your thoughts in the comments below and let us know your take on this petty revenge story!

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