Exhausted Mom Refuses to Sleep With Her Video-Game-Obsessed Husband, Now She’s Debating Leaving Him for Good

We all know that moment when exhaustion becomes so heavy it feels physical. For one new mother, that weight was multiplied by a husband who preferred his gaming console to helping with their six-month-old baby. Working nineteen-hour days between breastfeeding, cleaning houses, and dashing for extra cash, she reached her absolute breaking point.

When she finally looked at her partner—who sat glued to his screen while ignoring their crying infant—she realized her deep resentment had overtaken her love. This led to a harsh realization about her marriage. Curious how it all unfolded? The full story is right below.

Exhausted Mom Refuses to Sleep With Her Video-Game-Obsessed Husband, Now She’s Debating Leaving Him for Good

I'm debating on leaving my husband AITAH

A quiet moment in the bedroom becomes the flashpoint for months of unspoken resentment and physical exhaustion.

If you have any advice for me, I am all ears.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Today, my husband tried to be intimate with me.

I told him I have no desire to sleep with him, and I know I seem like the AH for that.

We had a baby six months ago, and it's true what they say: it does completely change your relationship.

We have not slept together in eight months.

I love that man dearly, and I will never love another man the way I love him, but I no longer like him as a person because I don't feel...

I feel like a maid.

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I feel like a mother to both him and my child.

I feel like a chauffeur.

My husband hates driving, so he complains anytime he has to drive anywhere. So, I have to drive everywhere most of the time—and that is the least of our problems.

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While his own relatives step up to offer support, the one person sworn to be her partner remains completely disengaged.

He's constantly on his video game (Switch).

Even when we go out with his family, all he wants to do is play on his phone or on that game, to the point where I'm the only person...

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His whole family offers me help, and he never does.

His sister told me, "You need to take his game from him," but I don't have that kind of authority, nor do I want it.

Every day, I wake up at 5:00 in the morning and don't go to bed until 12:00 at night.

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Anytime he's off work and I ask him if I can take a nap, he gets annoyed.

He huffs and puffs until I get angry.

He lies to me all the time.

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Trust crumbles entirely when basic infant care is falsified, leaving a mother terrified of what actually happens when she leaves the house.

He has a really poor job and we can't pay bills. So, I have to go out and do DoorDash and clean houses to finish paying bills.

While I'm out, I will ask him if our son has been changed and fed, and if he's in his bassinet and swaddled.

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He'll tell me that he is and everything's OK. Then, when I get home, he lied about it and now I have to do all of this.

He refuses to do his own laundry and complains when I don't fold it.

I'm just so overworked and so tired.

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It's getting to the point where I don't even like him because I feel like he doesn't care about me. I see how his family looks at us and they...

I'm breastfeeding, and most of the time he'll get upset if I ask him to wash my pump.

I have nowhere to go if we break up, but I don't want to be with him anymore.

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I've told him nicely I need help.

I've yelled at the top of my lungs.

I don't know what to do anymore.

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Am I the AH if I leave him? Am I the AH for telling him to his face that I don't want to sleep with him anymore?

Updates

Edit: Everyone is telling me to leave. That really sucks because I honestly knew that was what I needed to do.

It's easier said than done though.

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I have a son now and I don't have anywhere to go.

I don't even have a full-time job.

I just do side work.

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I don't have any family.

I'm stuck here.

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So I might as well get used to it. 😂 I'm glad to see I'm not overreacting.

And to add to my pity party.

I grew up with a very narcissistic mother who made me feel bad for standing up for myself or saying something hurt my feelings. So, it is very hard for...

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Community Opinions

Reddit users rallied behind the exhausted mother, offering a unanimous verdict of 'Not The Asshole' while expressing deep concern for her baby's welfare.

u/berrycantstop
NTA. girl run. see if his family can help you maybe. His sister seems to be on ur side.

u/ad_explorer
NTA. If he is not changing and feeding your son that is neglect/abuse.

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u/Electronic_Squash_30
As someone who single parented it’s actually so much easier when they are gone.
Less to clean up after less emotional burden.
You are NOT an AH!

u/Old-Commercial1159
Why are you with this loser? Was he like this pre-baby?

u/Main_Love_2058
"And I know I seem like the AH for that"
NTA: You are never an AH for not letting someone use your body if you don't feel like it.

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u/Effective_Kiwi4153
NTA - If you had a daughter in this situation, what would you tell her? Stay and be treated like this or leave and rise up for herself?

u/Signal-Stock3835
Please don’t sleep with him anymore. Having another baby with him would be the worst.

u/eowynsheiress NTA. Unless your husband seriously commits to reprioritizing his life and pulling his weight, I think you have no other option but to leave. Right now you have two...

u/Critical_Cat_8162
Leave. There is nothing for you there but chores. He's a leech. NTA.

u/cli_jockey
NTA, sounds like you're married to a child.
Do you have support to help you and your child when you leave him?

u/ContagiousDaydream NTA. I wouldn't want to be intimate with someone I feel like I'm raising either. Does he need you to pick out his clothes too? It sounds like you're...

u/d4rkbutt3rfly
Run fast, run far.
That's not fair with you, please leave him, nta at all

u/Impossible_Sun_9534
You are married to a man baby. Leave him and enjoy your life.

u/Spookendocker1 NTA. Of course you don't want sex with a man who doesn't pull his weight in the relationship and is more like a lazy child than a husband. One...

u/babydtheone Absolutely in no way are YTA. You have to leave him asap. Even if that means maybe asking his family for help to do it. As they see how...

Several commenters even urged her to lean on her husband's own family for support, noting that his sister already seemed to recognize his toxic behavior.

Transitioning from a marriage to single parenthood is a daunting prospect, especially when resources are scarce. Yet, staying in an environment of constant exhaustion and broken trust presents its own heavy toll on both mother and child, often forcing difficult divorce decisions.

The balance between trying to save a relationship and recognizing when a partner has checked out is incredibly delicate.

Do you think she should give him one last ultimatum through counseling, or is his neglect of their child a point of no return? And how would you handle a partner who chose video games over basic family duties? Share your hot take below!

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