Dad Sparks Outrage After Having His Kids Write a List of Things Their Mother Does That They Do Not Like

We all know that moment when parenting feels like a thankless, uphill battle. For one mother, a typical weekend took a deeply hurtful turn when she was presented with a literal, written list of her shortcomings. The mastermind behind this critique wasn’t a disgruntled boss, but her own children—prompted and guided by her husband.

It all began when their nine-year-old son complained about an embarrassing nickname. Instead of gently explaining maternal affection or helping the boy speak to his mother directly, the father suggested a formal list of grievances. Naturally, the younger sibling joined in, resulting in a compiled catalog of complaints about basic safety rules like wearing sunscreen and having supervision on the trampoline.

By encouraging this structured rebellion, the husband left his wife feeling isolated and betrayed in her own household, severely testing their parenting boundaries. Want the juicy details of this family fallout? Read on—the original post tells it all.

Dad Sparks Outrage After Having His Kids Write a List of Things Their Mother Does That They Do Not Like

AITA For Having our kids make a list of things my wife does that they don’t like?

A typical car ride home after a playdate quickly turns into a venting session about developmental milestones and social embarrassment. Instead of addressing the issue directly, the father listens to his son’s growing list of frustrations.

I really didn’t think, when this happened, that I’d be posting this.

My wife and I are both 39, and we have a 9-year-old and a 6-year-old.

On Friday, my 9-year-old went to a friend's house. When I picked him up, he was complaining that my wife still calls him "baby" in front of his friends.

Rather than reinforcing standard safety rules, the father inadvertently invites his child to grade his mother’s parenting performance. By suggesting a written list, he transforms a simple complaint into a formal critique.

Okay, then he said his friend's mom doesn’t make them be under supervision when using the trampoline.

Also, that his friend's mom doesn’t make his friend wear sunscreen, supposedly.

I told him that he should make a list of the stuff that my wife does that bothers him.

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Maybe she doesn’t know that it bothers him.

A younger sibling quickly jumps on the bandwagon, transforming a specific grievance into a general rebellion against daily chores. What started as a nine-year-old’s embarrassment quickly snowballs into a household-wide protest.

So he did, and since our 6-year-old saw him doing it, she decided to make a list of her own.

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But her list was 99% things that she just doesn’t like doing that have to be done anyway.

The kids gave their lists to my wife.

And they probably told her I told them to do it, since my wife was immediately mad at me for telling them to make a "passive-aggressive" list.

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She actually seemed really in her feelings about it. I told her that if she didn't take it personally, she could actually look at the complaints and know what to...

We sat there for two hours watching a show in silence—as in, she didn’t want to talk to me.

This was some time ago, but she was still kind of sore over it the following day.

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Community Opinions

Reddit came in hot and was virtually unanimous in its condemnation of the husband, with many accusing him of actively sabotaging his own marriage.

u/realistic_folklore YTA for teaching your kids that this is good communication and for not being a team with your wife: you’ve just shown your kids they don’t have to respect...

u/starry_nite99 YTA. That’s not effective parenting, nor is it teaching effective communication. You should have explained why sunscreen is important, and why your wife wants them to be supervised while...

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u/PrettyInstruction537 Jesus YTA. Now have the kids make a list of everything they love about her, then send her on a weekend mom trip while you watch those kids. That’s...

u/Jakyland yeah, YTA for not siding with your wife for basic parenting things like putting on sunscreen and basic supervision around a trampoline. You sided with your 9 year old...

u/earporches YTA. Your wife should change her behavior to conform to a 9-year-old’s preferences?? Maybe she thinks the kid NEEDS supervision on the trampoline. Maybe he actually does. If he...

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u/Emotional-Coast5117
YTA.
What a crappy way to treat your wife! You're going to raise entitled children, BTW.
I wouldn't talk to you either.

u/MoonandStars83 YTA. So, instead of explaining why trampoline supervision and sunscreen are good things, you had your kid write a laundry list of complaints and give it to her without...

u/mktwhatever YTA You cannot be serious. What kind of corporate triangulation campaign are you running on the mother of your children?! This is your wife not your coworker. She doesn’t...

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u/Big_Owl1220 YTA- do you think the entitled children you are raising, are going to enjoy 2 birthdays, 2 Christmases, etc? That's where you're headed, pulling BS like that. You and...

Also that his friends mom doesn’t make his friend wear sunscreen, supposedly. I take from this conversation that OP has never put sunscreen on his/her own children! Apparently raising kids...

u/AllPerspicacity Info: do you even like your wife? It feels weird to have them make a list like this instead of forming a team with your wife, reviewing their complaints...

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u/Ksharonmcg YTA it’s absolutely fine and essential for kids to express their feelings, even when it is frustration regarding parent behavior. But the way you handled it was by facilitating...

u/Mystery_man111
YTA for sure.
Having your kids think of everything negative they can about their mom? Are you out of your mind? Don't even bother answering that.

u/fIumpf
YTA.
A future “the divorce came outta nowhere” husband who is surprised his wife is upset when he tells his kids to make lists on why they hate mommy.

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u/VolleyballSmurfette YTA. You're throwing your wife under the bus when you should have been on her side. Making your kid wear sunscreen - reasonable parenting. Requiring trampoline supervision- reasonable parenting....

A few commenters also pointed out that by encouraging the kids to write lists about basic safety rules, the dad was setting himself up for future behavioral nightmares.

Navigating the delicate balance of parenting while maintaining a unified marital front is a constant challenge, especially as children grow and begin to test boundaries. This situation serves as a stark reminder of how easily a misplaced communication exercise can devolve into relationship-damaging dynamics that alienate a partner and break down trust.

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Do you think the husband was genuinely trying to help his son express his feelings, or did he completely cross the line by facilitating a critique of his wife’s parenting? And how would you have handled your child’s complaints in this scenario?

Share your hot take below!

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