Man Abandons Date at a Bar After Her ‘True Colors’ Emerge Following Five Drinks

We all know that moment when a promising first date suddenly feels like a dream come true, only for the illusion to shatter before the first round is even finished. For one 26-year-old newcomer to the city, meeting a charming redhead who shared his values felt like the lucky break he needed to finally feel at home. She was cute, seemingly sweet, and they appeared to be on the same page about everything from politics to personal morals.

However, the night took a dark and dizzying turn when a simple trip to a local bar revealed a side of her that no amount of charm could mask. What started as a casual evening of people watching quickly descended into a barrage of vitriol and personal attacks that left him questioning everything he thought he knew about his new acquaintance. The situation became so volatile that he was forced to make a split-second decision to protect his own peace of mind. Curious how it all unfolded? The full story is right below.

Man Abandons Date at a Bar After Her 'True Colors' Emerge Following Five Drinks

AITAH for ditching a girl at a bar for blatant racism and alcoholism?

Finding a connection in a new city feels like a lifeline, especially when your shared values seem to align so perfectly at the start.

I am a 26M.

I met a girl through Facebook, but it wasn't dating.

I had posted something on the local township Facebook group looking for dating events, and she PM'ed me. She's 30F, with no kids.

I entertained it, and once I saw a photo of her, I was very interested and got her number.

After a bit of talking, we ended up going to a bar a couple days later and we really hit it off.

I am new to this city, and I know nobody but coworkers, so this was huge for me.

We had a lot in common such as our claim to Christian morals, very similar political views, and she was very, very cute.

Red hair, and just adorable.

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After that night, we texted for a couple days, and I didn't really see any red flags.

Then on Friday, while I'm driving my work truck, she calls me up and asks me to go out to a restaurant she likes.

I had planned on calling her that day, but she beat me to it.

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I was super excited.

After work, I head home and freshen up.

Hours go by, I tried to call her but her phone didn't pick up.

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Eventually, she calls me and says she's dealing with something that came up but she still wants to go out.

Okay, I keep waiting.

Eventually she calls back and says that she thinks it's a bit late to get food and she's not all that hungry, but that she thinks I would like her...

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Just a reminder, I do not frequent bars.

That scene is somewhat new to me.

Anyway, I get there and she's already at the bar talking with the person next to her.

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I ordered my drink and we started talking.

It became immediately clear to me that she was a regular at this bar, more than I might've thought.

She was constantly getting up and going to say hi to people she knew as they walked in.

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As she kept drinking, we got to talking more, and moved to the corner.

I didn't drink much more than a little Jameson and a Rum and Coke.

The atmosphere shifts from social to sinister as the alcohol thins the filter between her private thoughts and public behavior.

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But by the time she got to five drinks, that's when the slurs started.

Now, being where I am from and where I've lived, I know when people are just joking or trying to be edgy.

She was being serious.

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Hard-R mainly, but there were other slurs she threw out there.

Turns out, the reason she wanted to move to the corner was so she could "people watch," and keep an eye on them.

She would stare at people, point at them, refer to them as certain slurs or other offensive terms, and kept drinking.

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Keep in mind she was getting all up on me most of the time so I was trying to figure out when I should make a judgment call.

Eventually, she started to try and pick me apart, calling me a "honky" and "hick" (I'm white), and tried to tell me that she knows me already and that I'm...

We’ve all been there—that frantic desire to escape a situation that has become unrecognizable and deeply uncomfortable.

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That's when her mood changed, and she got all sad and was giving me faces and not talking to me.

I tried to tell her I didn't need an Uber from her, because she was offering me one, because I didn't want her to spend her money on me. (Truthfully,...

She didn't chase me, but I drove my truck around the block just because I didn't want her coming out and seeing me waiting for my buddy.

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I started getting messages from her like, "You're rude asf," "You're an alcoholic," "Don't talk to me again," etc.

I knew she was drunk as hell but I know a lot of people let the truth slip out about how they really feel when they are, including the overt...

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I chose not to block her because I wanted to see if she would apologize at all.

The next morning around noon, I got a message that read as such: "Sorry I let myself like you, I hope you end up in life where you want to...

I kept my response short, but basically said thank you, even though I think this is a garbage apology that addresses absolutely nothing about what happened.

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Then I blocked her.

Only took me a day to recover from that, but I was really disappointed because I thought I finally found someone but they turned out to be absolutely disgusting on...

For the record, I feel bad for leaving her without explaining why.

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But I couldn't handle it anymore, even if she was sweet on the outside and kind when she's sober.

And I should add, I moved to this city to be near my 4yo son.

I wouldn’t want that kind of person anywhere near him ever.

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Community Opinions

The Reddit community was nearly unanimous in their support of the man, though several commenters expressed deep concern regarding his choice of venue given his history.

u/MarkWhich2028
If it's any consolation, you found out immediately that she's crazy.
Took me years to work out my ex was.
Thats a win for you haha. 

u/FirmTumbleweed1141
You should be spending time with your 4yr old, not wasting your time making up dumb stories on reddit for fake internet points.
Talk about having your priorities wrong.

u/CynicalSince74
Definitely NTA. It’s better that you saw who she really was sooner rather than later

u/OkiBeachBum60 Run, run, run from people who kind manage their alcohol, their mouths, or their racist thoughts. Just one would be a red flag for me. You got all three....

u/DiezDedos
Liberate yourself from the notion that every acquaintance deserves an explanation of \exactly\ why you don’t want to pursue a further relationship with them.
Vibes were off.

u/Remarkable-Wrap-4727
Loved when you said the slurs started, I thought you meant “ ysher illava nudder”

u/DaLola001
NTA - you saw the red flags 👏👏👏 never go back

u/Coygon You're a recovering alcoholic, but you went to a bar? And ordered alcoholic drinks?? What were you thinking??? Anyway, NTAH for ditching her. She knows exactly why you left....

u/melophile2702 So, she delayed your dinner date to get wasted at her favorite bar, continued to get wasted and then made you the bad guy. Be happy you saw this...

u/Useless890
NTA. Her "dealing with something" probably meant getting tanked before she met up with you.

u/HawkHarder NTA you don't want to get involved with a girl that is a regular at a bar and goes by herself. I don't know what type of girl would...

u/spazmcspazy At least you found out instead of wasting your time! Hot dang that is actually crazy. Also no you arent an AH I would have had some not so...

u/purplekera-vision4 Sounds like to me she was bullied growing up for being a redhead and if she had freckles so as a adult she puts out the negative stereotype first...

u/--TheCity-- She is alcoholic. Alcohol makes the very worst version of themselves come out.  The longer it goes on the worse it gets. This is why I last tasted that...

u/atmasabr
NTA. She knows what she is. If she wants to change, it will be without you, or not at all.

While the verdict was clear, the discussion sparked a debate on whether alcohol creates a new persona or simply unmasks an existing one.

Ultimately, the consensus suggests that walking away was the most responsible choice, especially with a young child to consider. Protecting one’s own peace and moral boundaries often requires leaving a situation without the closure of a formal goodbye. While it is disappointing to see a promising connection vanish, it is far better to witness these behavioral patterns early on rather than months into a relationship.

Do you believe alcohol reveals a person’s hidden truth, or does it just create a temporary monster? And would you have stayed to explain yourself, or would you have vanished just as quickly? Share your hot take below! Drop your thoughts in the comments.

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