She Finally Dates Her Childhood Crush, But His Alarming Bathroom Habits Give Her The Ultimate Ick

We all know that moment when a lifelong fantasy finally becomes reality, only for the illusion to instantly shatter. For one woman, landing the older brother’s friend she had crushed on for thirteen years seemed like a fairytale ending—until he actually moved into her childhood home.

After he lost his job and apartment, the couple found themselves sharing close quarters with her parents. What was supposed to be a romantic milestone quickly devolved into a deeply uncomfortable roommate situation involving weeks-old dirt under fingernails, a suspicious aversion to toothpaste, and car rides with the windows rolled down in the dead of winter. The reality of dating her dream guy quickly turned into a nightmare of extreme hygiene neglect.

Curious how it all unfolded? The full story is right below.

She Finally Dates Her Childhood Crush, But His Alarming Bathroom Habits Give Her The Ultimate Ick

once you get the ick, is the relationship doomed or is it salvageble?

The anticipation of a decade-long crush finally aligning is a powerful drug, making the inevitable crash to reality hit that much harder.

Once you get the ick from someone (you know, they do or say something that immediately makes you lose all attraction), is there any coming back from it? I (28F)...

He's my older brother's friend, and I've liked him since the day I met him. Timing was never right until last year, when we finally ended up dating. I was...

In November, my boyfriend suddenly got fired, lost his apartment, and had to move in with me and my parents. While living together, I've noticed he showers once a week...

The physical distance between them wasn’t just a loss of intimacy; it became a silent, suffocating standoff over basic self-care.

I told him, like three months ago, that he needs to start brushing his teeth more. He said, "Okay," and then the next day, he brought up how he did...

I stopped having sex, have definitely cut down on kissing to just hardly ever, and I know he's noticed. It was so bad at one point that while we were...

I didn't say anything (what's wrong with me, I know), but I know he's been depressed and stuff, so I figured that was probably why, and I didn't wanna say...

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Because on top of all that, he had had a lot of dirt under his nails for over a week. He agreed to work on it and did for a...

Other than the hygiene issue, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had. He makes me feel so loved and cared for, and we have so much in common, so I...

But it's just such a huge issue for me, I guess, because years ago I went on a date with a guy I had a huge crush on for a...

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If the problem actually gets solved, will the ick go away, and I'll go back to feeling normal? Also, what is with guys and not brushing their teeth? This is...

The sudden loss of attraction this woman is experiencing points to a much broader psychological phenomenon surrounding what modern dating culture calls the ick. From a clinical perspective, a sudden drop in basic self-care is broadly recognized by mental health professionals as a primary indicator of depressive disorders. When someone loses their job, their housing, and their daily routine in rapid succession, the executive dysfunction that follows can make tasks as simple as showering or brushing teeth feel insurmountable.

However, understanding the root cause doesn’t negate the partner’s lived reality. Relationship experts universally agree that chronic poor hygiene inevitably breeds deep resentment and fundamentally alters the relationship dynamic from romantic partners to a parent-child relationship. This specific shift in power and attraction is notoriously difficult to reverse once established.

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If you find yourself dating a partner who refuses basic hygiene, professionals suggest establishing firm, health-based boundaries rather than nagging. The most effective approach is to clearly communicate that physical intimacy is entirely off the table until basic health standards are met, protecting your own well-being while giving them a concrete reason to seek professional help for their underlying struggles.

Navigating the delicate balance between supporting a partner through depression and maintaining your own boundaries is incredibly challenging. When basic hygiene falls by the wayside, the resulting loss of attraction can feel impossible to overcome, even with years of history behind the relationship.

Community Opinions

Reddit came in hot—nearly unanimous in their disgust, with a handful urging the original poster to recognize the severe physical health risks involved.

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u/Megmelons55 Unless he fixes his hygiene issues, nothing will change and resentment will grow

u/throwRA-nonSeq Your man is a walking UTI. It’s not just his hygiene issue, it’s YOURS too. Tell him to shower daily and brush his teeth, otherwise he’s not going to...

u/Kubuubud The ick from him stinking and being unable to take care of himself in a very basic way may go away, but you’re probably gonna develop a new ick...

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u/KayD12364 Have a frank conversation with him and tell him your concerns about his hygiene. And be real with him. Tell him his lack of hygiene habits give you the...

u/cojof this might be a little harsh, but. the fact that you're even writing this. dude, take a step back. you are dating a man who is 30 years old...

u/lonly25 How discussing is this guy. Showers once a month. His whole body must smell. Sorry to me this is past ick.

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u/Existing_Intern_4764 You don't have to feel awful, he makes no effort to be attractive to you, and he's gross. It was an infatuation you had for a long time, you...

u/Gma2-4 Therapist here Save yourself from heartache. Most likely he will only get worse. Do you know if he cleans himself after having a bowel movement? Is he wearing clean...

u/SCH00NY125 Ive never heard of guys not brushing their teeth. If this is the 4th guy maybe re evaluate your type. In all seriousness if it gets fixed sure you...

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u/contrarian1970 You warned him. Unfortunately, it can take the permanent loss of a great relationship for some people to find the motivation to change.

u/64green Not brushing teeth is a dealbreaker for me. That particular smell is its own level of nauseating. 🤢 Did you know poor oral hygiene can also affect your heart?...

u/res06myi Are you hoping to spend the rest of your life raising a grown ass man? No? Then dumb him. Yes? Congratulations! You've found the perfect man child who will...

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u/sphinxofblackquartzj If this is the 4th guy with similar issue, yeah you have a particular type... Are they hobo or rednecks? Lol

u/Sad_Reporter2652 You should’ve seen my face reading this. My advice..don’t sign up to be a mother to a grown man & I genuinely respect your patience, because I would’ve run...

u/Lillie-Bee That’s a super ick. The smell is probably rotten teeth. Ugh! How did you never notice this all the years you had a crush? You never smelled him or...

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A few readers reminded everyone that depression could be at play, but agreed it doesn’t excuse subjecting a partner to such extreme conditions.

Navigating a partner’s sudden decline in self-care is a delicate balancing act between empathy and self-respect. While compassion for someone’s mental health struggles is important, maintaining personal boundaries around physical health and intimacy is equally crucial.

Do you think she should give him one last ultimatum to fix his hygiene, or did the relationship end the moment she started feeling like his mother? And how would you handle a partner who simply stopped brushing their teeth? Drop your thoughts in the comments!

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