AITA for thinking about losing weight even though my husband is begging me to keep my weight?

A woman recently shared her struggle with body image after gaining weight following a major life change. Earlier in her life, her career required her to maintain a very slim figure, and strict expectations around appearance shaped how she viewed herself. After leaving that profession and settling into married life, her weight gradually increased.

Despite reassurance from her husband, friends, and even her doctor that she looks healthy, the comments from two family members continue to affect how she sees herself. Now she finds herself wondering whether her desire to lose weight is truly her own decision or the result of years of criticism and pressure.

‘AITA for thinking about losing weight even though my husband is begging me to keep my weight?’

The poster explained how her previous career shaped her relationship with her weight.

I (29f) used to have a career that required me to be thin. While working, I tried to maintain around 125 lbs at 5 ' 10. I chose to give...

After leaving that lifestyle behind, her weight changed and people around her responded differently.

I got comfortable and I ended up gaining weight. Now I'm 163 lb. According to my doctor, my husband, and internet BMI calculators, I'm not overweight.

My husband says it's my body so my choice but he's begging me to not lose the weight. He says I'm gorgeous, and I'm only insecure because I worked in...

Still, criticism from close relatives has made her question her appearance.

My best friend (30f) said I look amazing. Other friends say I look good. Men look at me, and flirt with me.

But my mom (54f) and my sister (26f) say I look fat. I want my husband to think I'm beautiful and he says he does. I still feel ugly. Am...

Body image struggles often develop over long periods of exposure to certain standards, particularly in industries where appearance plays a major role. When someone spends years maintaining a very specific body type to meet professional expectations, adjusting to a healthier or more relaxed lifestyle can feel emotionally complicated. Even positive changes may conflict with internalized beliefs about how a person “should” look.

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In this situation, the woman appears to be receiving mixed signals. Medical guidance and feedback from supportive people in her life suggest that her current weight falls within a healthy range. However, criticism from family members can carry a unique emotional impact because those voices often shape self-perception from an early age. Repeated negative comments can reinforce insecurities even when other perspectives are more positive.

Experts often encourage individuals dealing with body image concerns to focus on personal well-being rather than outside opinions. Decisions about weight, health, and appearance ideally come from personal comfort and medical guidance rather than social pressure. When conflicting messages cause confusion, counseling or therapy can help people untangle long-standing beliefs about their bodies and develop a healthier sense of self-confidence.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Many commenters strongly supported the poster and criticized the family members who called her fat.

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stallion8426 − Well 125 is medically underweight for your height, which is just as bad if not worse than being overweight.

Your mom and sister need to shut the f__k up. You should go see a therapist to work on your body image. This is how eating disorders start.

gregwhale5 − Stop doing what your mom and sister want. They are being toxic. Listen to husband and doctor and know they want what's best for you. Love yourself and...

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SciFiEmma − You seem to care more about what everyone else thinks, than what you think. So: what do you think?

Derzelaz − Your mom and your sister are either jealous or idiots. 125 lbs at 5'10 is straight underweight. Your current weight (compared to your height) is just fine.

[Reddit User] − NTA, 125lbs for your height is thin. Your husband prefers the added benefits of the added lbs, curves, more feminine features.

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If everyone is telling you look great, then you look great. Be wary of negative people more often then not they’re haters.

Other commenters encouraged the poster to focus on her own feelings instead of outside opinions.

sillypenguinman − NTA. Seems like your mom and sister are contributing more to your unhappiness than anybody.

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slimtonun − My best friend (30f) said I look amazing. Other friends say I look good. Men look at me, and flirt with me. **But my mom (54f) and my...

I want my husband to think I'm beautiful and he says he does. I still feel ugly. Am I the a__hole ? Problem(s) identified.

The two people you have presumably grown up with have unfortunately ingrained body images on you to the point you have to ask somehow if YTA (no btw) Some people...

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FormSuccessful1122 − Nowhere in this post do you say what YOU want. Your doctor. Your husband. Your best friend. Your other friends.

Your mom. Your sister. Not once do you say what YOU want or why. And obviously that makes a big difference here.

A few responses added personal stories or reflective perspectives to the discussion.

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Demi_Dummy − Everyone is telling you that you look awesome except for two women in your life: Your mom and sister. Those are the AH, not you or anyone else...

I am myself also at a healthy weight. You may say that I'm really thin and look good. I was not always 147 pounds. I gained weight after high school....

Anorexic and malnourished. People on a daily basis kept telling me to eat a burger and fatten up. Severely underweight. My parents didn't feed me as a kid.

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I was forced to believe that my weight, appearance, dizzy spells, constant hunger, and inability to function normally was perfectly normal and that everyone experiences it.

To ignore it. It wasn't until I left my parents that I started eating whatever I want and when I wanted. By the end of my first semester, I was...

The following semester, 127. I was a stable 127 until I graduated college and then had twins. Now I am 147 pounds. The healthiest weight I've ever been and I...

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When I went to visit my parents after having kids, you know the first thing my parents said was? "Wow! You got fat!

You should really lose all that weight! " I decided not to visit them ever again. Mainly because they were telling me that I needed to go back to starving...

grayblue_grrl − This isn't an a__hole situation. You probably look gorgeous and healthy. Very sexy after being so thin.

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If you can't take the word of the man who loves you and has s__ with you over two women, then see a therapist. "Ugly" has nothing to do with...

And I think it has more to do with the toxic work situation and normalizing starvation. A therapist will help you see what you need to see. Good luck.

The story highlights how powerful outside opinions can be when it comes to body image. While medical advice and supportive voices suggest the woman is healthy, the criticism from close family members continues to shape how she feels about herself. This conflict shows how deeply personal and emotional discussions about weight can become.

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It also raises broader questions about self-perception and influence. Should someone focus primarily on medical guidance and personal comfort, or is it natural to be affected by family opinions? How do people learn to separate their own self-image from the expectations of others?

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