AITA my mom wants me to take her single + pregnant friend to the hospital, I don’t think it’s my problem and said no?

Helping family members is something many people do without hesitation. But sometimes, a simple favor can grow into something much bigger than expected. That’s exactly the situation one man found himself in after his mother asked him to help someone he had never even met.

At first glance, the request came from a place of kindness. His mother had grown close to a younger coworker who was expecting a baby and struggling without family support. Still, what began as a heartfelt appeal quickly turned into a complicated situation involving time, relationships, and personal boundaries.

AITA my mom wants me to take her single + pregnant friend to the hospital, I don’t think it’s my problem and said no?

The background of the story starts with the close relationships the man’s mother has built at work.

My mom is kinda the mother hen at her work and she ends up making lots of friends with the girls she works with. A lot of these friends have...

and I’m glad my mom has awesome friends that she can trust and rely on. A few of them even took her all expenses paid to cancun for a few...

Her friendships often resemble family connections, something she has always valued deeply.

She has 3 boys, and always wanted a girl so lots of these women are in their 20’s and they absolutely adore my mom, and the feeling is mutual- like,...

My mom is terrified of driving because when she was a teen she ended up accidentally hitting someone and although she was never charged with dangerous driving she gave up...

I work a full time job with my dad but I’ll ALWAYS make time to drive my mom around as my 2 brothers don’t live close and she used to...

Recently, however, his mother asked for a favor involving someone outside the family.

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She has made a new friend at work who’s in her early twenties, she’s only known her this past year. This girl is pregnant and doesn’t have family or friends...

She needs help going to and from hospital appointments and Uber’s are racking up and buses are notoriously late or diverted in my town. My mom called me up pleading...

AND some shopping trips for the future baby. My mom said that she’s going alone, blah blah, she has no one to help, my mom is vested in making sure...

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While he understands his mother’s intentions, the situation still feels strange to him.

I’m reluctant to help because I don’t think it’s my issue, I’m happy to help out momma and I’ve driven her friends around before when my mom is also with...

My mom is a bleeding heart and loves ‘fixing’ things and people, and she has asked me to do it as a favor to her because this girl is down...

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Adding another layer of tension, the man says his girlfriend strongly objects to the idea.

It’s all a little weird to me, but the major major reason I don’t want to do it is because I mentioned this to my girlfriend and she was NOT...

I’m also genuinely super busy and my life is all about making $$ so if it’s not immediately for my loved ones I’m out.

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My mom is really disappointed and has been paying for this girls uber herself which is insane to me, and I do feel guilty but over my mom, not this...

Situations involving favors for friends of family members can quickly become complicated. On one hand, helping someone in need is often seen as an admirable act. On the other hand, people naturally have limits on their time, energy, and comfort level—especially when the request involves someone they barely know.

From the mother’s perspective, the situation likely feels urgent and emotional. She clearly cares about her coworker and may see helping her as the right thing to do. When someone feels protective toward another person, they sometimes extend that responsibility to family members without fully considering whether the request is reasonable.

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Psychologists often emphasize that healthy relationships require clear expectations and respect for personal limits. According to Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute, “Trust is built in very small moments.” One of those moments involves respecting when someone says they simply cannot take on more responsibilities.

A practical way forward might involve discussing alternative ways to help without creating resentment. The son could continue supporting his mother directly while encouraging solutions that don’t rely entirely on him, such as rideshare services, community support groups, or other friends who may be willing to assist occasionally. When everyone involved respects each other’s time and comfort level, it becomes easier to balance kindness with personal boundaries.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many people online supported the man’s decision, saying the request placed too much responsibility on him.

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ConvivialKat − NTA. It's fine if your Mom wants to do things to help out this girl out, but DO NOT get sucked in to this girls problems or start...

It would be totally inappropriate and, being that you are a man, could lead to some pretty darned awkward situations.

vodka_philosophy − NTA. It's not like you're sitting around with your thumb up your b__t with nothing going on; you have a busy life with commitments of your own you...

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Clached − NTA. Anyone who implies that this is a reasonable request is TA. At least THREE appointments AND some ambigious number of shopping trips. Are you kidding me?

AITAApril2019 − NTA a single little bit, you owe nobody your time.

Beachy5313 − NTA. Your mom is free to help them, but that's not your problem. Also, where is this chick's baby daddy?

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Other commenters acknowledged the mother’s kindness but said she shouldn’t volunteer someone else’s time.

ThroWingitallAwaY173 − NAH. I can see why your mum asked but it’s a huge ask and as it would take up so much of your time and effort it’s not...

hyena_cub − NAH You are not required to help out complete strangers.

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ReallyMelloP − NTA, but your mom is one. One ride? Sure. Three and shopping trips?

actualreallifebear − I feel for the pregnant girl, can't be easy. But your mum is kind of an a-hole here.

[Reddit User] − It's a hard one but I'm gonna say NTA. The pregnant woman seems like she's really miserable and lonely without any family.

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And a few users added blunt or humorous takes on how strange the situation could become.

Moal − NTA. This is a little inappropriate to do, especially if you’re already in a relationship.

ardewynne − NTA Next thing you know, your mom will ask you to marry the girl and become the kid’s father.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Nobody likes to be voluntold, and I see where your girlfriend would be upset.

[Reddit User] − INFO: Is your GF Jewish, and is the pregnant woman Jewish and/or carrying a girl?

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[Reddit User] − Volunteering someone else's time is never okay.

In this situation, the man’s mother clearly wants to help someone who is going through a difficult time. Her compassion is admirable, but the request also places a significant responsibility on someone else’s schedule and comfort level.

Some readers believe refusing the request is completely reasonable, while others see it as a missed opportunity to help someone in need. The debate ultimately comes down to balancing kindness with personal limits. What would you do if a family member volunteered your time to help someone you barely know?

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