AITA for burning my mom’s diaries, letters and writings, because I don’t want anything to do with her, instead of giving them to my siblings?

Family history can be complicated, especially when old wounds never truly heal. One man recently shared a deeply personal dilemma on social media after deciding to burn the diaries his late mother left behind for him. While the journals were meant to help him understand her better, he ultimately chose a different path — one that left his family stunned.

The situation quickly sparked debate online. Some readers believed he had every right to handle the diaries however he wished, given his painful past. Others felt he destroyed something deeply meaningful that his siblings could have treasured. As the discussion unfolded, opinions ranged from sympathetic to sharply critical, showing just how divided people can be when family history and unresolved emotions collide.

The difficult relationship between the poster and his mother began long before her death.

Years later, his mother attempted to reconnect, but by then the damage felt permanent.

His siblings knew about the diaries and hoped to read them someday.

But when his siblings found out, the reaction was immediate and intense.

Even his wife questioned his motives.

Family estrangement can leave deep emotional marks that last for decades. In this situation, the poster grew up feeling abandoned while watching his mother start a new life with other children. That kind of experience can create lingering resentment and grief. When his mother left her diaries to him, she likely hoped they would offer insight into her life and maybe open a door to understanding. For him, however, they represented unresolved pain.

From another angle, the siblings’ reaction is understandable as well. Those diaries weren’t just objects — they were a piece of their mother’s history. To them, the journals could have preserved memories and personal stories they might never hear otherwise. Losing that chance probably felt like losing part of their family narrative.

Relationship experts often point out that unresolved childhood wounds can shape adult decisions in powerful ways. According to psychologist Dr. John Gottman, co-founder of the Gottman Institute, “Unresolved emotional injuries from the past often resurface during moments of conflict or grief.” Situations tied to loss or family history can trigger intense reactions that feel deeply personal.

For people facing similar situations, communication can make a huge difference. Talking openly with family members before making irreversible choices can help prevent additional hurt. Therapy may also offer space to process lingering resentment without harming relationships that still exist. In some cases, closure doesn’t come from destroying the past but from understanding how it shaped the present.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many readers strongly criticized the poster’s decision and believed he went too far.

Others, however, felt the poster had every right to handle the situation his own way.

A few people landed somewhere in the middle, acknowledging how painful the situation was for everyone involved.

This story highlights how complicated family relationships can become when old wounds meet unfinished conversations. For the poster, burning the diaries felt like a final step toward emotional closure. For his siblings, it erased something they believed could have preserved their mother’s memories.

Neither perspective is easy to dismiss. One side is dealing with childhood hurt that never truly healed, while the other is grieving the loss of something meaningful. Situations like this rarely have a clear answer. So what do you think — was he justified in doing what helped him move forward, or should he have considered his siblings’ feelings before making such a permanent decision?