AITA for eating fatty foods in front of my MIL?

Living with extended family can sometimes turn everyday habits into unexpected sources of conflict. In this case, one woman simply tried to follow the diet recommended by her doctor to manage a health condition, but her mother-in-law had very different opinions about what healthy eating should look like.

The situation started when the mother-in-law moved in during the pandemic. At first, the arrangement seemed like a win for everyone involved. She wouldn’t have to live alone during lockdown, and the household gained another adult who could help with the kids. But over time, a disagreement about food and health turned family meals into a surprisingly tense part of the day.

‘AITA for eating fatty foods in front of my MIL?’

The original poster began by explaining why her mother-in-law had been living with them:

My MIL has been living with us since the start of the pandemic. I am perfectly fine with it, this was a considered decision that we felt would be good...

we have a third adult around to help with the kids, which has been a lifesaver during lockdown). In general, we do get along, though we don't agree on everything,...

One of the biggest points of conflict revolves around the OP’s diet and health condition:

I have PCOS, which means, among other things, I am severely insulin resistant and at high risk of developing diabetes. While I don't follow a strict keto diet, I do...

This is what my endocrinologist of many years advises me to do. So every morning, I have a breakfast of eggs. Full eggs, not egg white. When I have chicken,...

I use full fat dairy products and snack on nuts. I eat plenty of produce though I avoid potatoes and only eat fruit alongside some sort of protein. I am...

My a1c (which gets checked 3 times a year) is under 5 and my cholesterol, blood pressure etc are all well within normal, not even close to problematic. I eat...

However, her mother-in-law sees things very differently:

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My MIL is stuck in the 80s mindset of Fat is Bad and needs to be avoided at all costs. She harps on me at every meal that my food...

Every time, I tell her that what she thinks she knows is outdated, and this is what my doctor advises. She thinks I'm making it up and in denial.

My husband now thinks I should go along to get along and eat low fat in front of my MIL and then sneak the fatty foods later.

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I think this is ridiculous and I'm not going to sneak food in my own home, nor plan my meals around other people's feelings. Honestly, even if my diet was...

I get that my husband is tired of arguing and just wants meal times to go smoothly, but he should focus on telling his mother not to comment on my...

not on me making some dumbass elaborate scheme to avoid a fight. AITA for refusing to budge on this and continuing to openly eat my dirt that MIL disagrees with?

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Conflicts about food are surprisingly common in multi-generational households, especially when different generations grew up with very different nutritional advice. For many people who lived through the diet trends of the 1980s and 1990s, “fat” became almost synonymous with unhealthy eating. Grocery stores filled with low-fat products, and avoiding fat was widely promoted as the key to heart health.

Modern nutritional science, however, paints a more nuanced picture. Today, many experts distinguish between different types of fats and recognize that certain fats—like those found in eggs, nuts, fish, and dairy—can play an important role in a balanced diet. In fact, for some medical conditions, diets lower in carbohydrates can be recommended.

For individuals with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), insulin resistance is a common issue. Because carbohydrates have a significant impact on blood sugar levels, some endocrinologists recommend reducing carb intake to help manage insulin response. This approach can naturally result in a diet that appears higher in fat and protein compared to traditional dietary guidelines.

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Dr. Walter Willett, a professor of epidemiology and nutrition at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, has noted that “the type of fat matters more than the total amount,” emphasizing that healthy fats can be part of a well-balanced diet when consumed appropriately.

Beyond nutrition itself, family dynamics often play a big role in these conflicts. Repeated criticism about someone’s eating habits can create tension and make shared meals uncomfortable. Experts in family communication often encourage addressing the behavior directly—making it clear that unsolicited comments about someone’s diet or body are unwelcome.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Many commenters strongly supported the OP and felt the mother-in-law was crossing a line:

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HowardProject − NTA - Your husband literally thinks you should put your health at risk to humor his mother's outdated bs while she is living as a guest in your...

[Reddit User] − " My husband now thinks I should go along to get along and eat low fat in front of my MIL and then sneak the fatty foods...

yamsforever − NTA. Tell your husband he’s talking to the wrong person and to tell his mom to stop talking about your diet.

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Choano − NTA. You get to eat whatever you think is best, with or without medical advice. Your MIL is way out of line, and your husband should be defending...

If you were actually endangering yourself, I could see your husband and MIL trying to intervene. But you aren't, and your husband knows that.

He needs to grow a backbone and tell his mom to eat her low fat, high carb meals without a side order of commentary.

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Frankietank1 − NTA fatty foods does not necessarily make you fat. Eating more calories than you burn creates fat. But she would know that if she actually listened to reason...

Carbohydrates are usually a no-go, but fats in moderation are definitely ok and it sounds like you’re doing a great job taking care of yourself.

Djorgal − NTA She has no say in your diet. She is way out of line in making regular comments about it, especially when told these are unwelcome. She should...

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Tell her shes free to leave if she won’t respect you in your own home.

Aware-Definition42 − NTA. May I suggest a swear jar. Only it's a "food commentary"-jar. Every time someone comments on another person's food, they pay a dollar.

larochelleville − NTA. Its none of her business. Its your home , your doctor prescribed diet. She needs to be told she has no right to police your eating habits.

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Some readers felt the bigger issue was actually the husband’s reaction:

Darth_GlowWorm − NTA. Your MiL and husband suck for this tbh. ..why should you modify your diet and keep it secret just because someone doesn’t like it?

Tell your MIL to mind her business and to stop being so rude. ..and tell your husband to stand up for his wife wtf, not just tell her to eat...

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[Reddit User] − NTA, definitely. This sounds like you have a JustNoSO issue. Your husband, tired or not, should not at any point think it's okay to suggest that you...

To appease his mother? ?? That's honestly very skewed thinking on his part, and is not supportive of you.

Tell your MIL firmly that you will no longer be tolerating her input, that it's unwelcome, and that if she doesn't stop, she will be asked to take her meals...

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cheesybeetsy − NTA You're literally following the only option that will keep you healthy. Only situation I can think of where hiding your diet would be expected is if the...

I think your husband should take your feelings into account as well. From what you've written, she just seems uneducated on the topic.

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If you're comfortable, maybe bring MIL to your next check up / part of your next check up so your doctor can explain to her the basics and she knows...

Sianyblews − NTA. This is the most literal case of fatphobia I've ever heard. I specialise in Diabetes and don't talk to my patients about their weight,

but their blood results and blood pressure and their choices. The evidence shows that it doesn't matter what diet you follow in diabetes, as long as you follow it.

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(I know you're not diabetic) You should not have to justify and post your blood tests on the internet to defend yourself.

Some commenters with medical backgrounds also weighed in:

Amhity − Dietitian here! NTA. 1. Her "fat is bad" attitude is so incredibly outdated and dangerous. Fat isn't even required to be listed on baby foods because the no...

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2. I'm so happy to see someone doing keto who seems to need it and who also appears to be eating healthy fats. 3. Your endo sounds awesome.

I'm so sorry you have PCOS. It makes weight gain easy and weight loss hard. Congrats on getting good results on your CBC!

Pooky582 − NTA. I have PCOS, as well. Unfortunately, I crossed over the a1c threshold and am officially Diabetic. (I have managed to get it back under 7, though).

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And my DH supports me, researches for me, finds recipes for me, etc. Your MIL is way out of line. But I'm more upset with your husband telling you to...

...when it comes to your HEALTH of all things! It's your home. And your health. Eat what you want/need. Every time either comments on it, shut them down. Do not...

Situations like this often highlight how easily everyday routines—like sharing meals—can turn into sources of tension within families. While the mother-in-law may genuinely believe she is looking out for her daughter-in-law’s health, repeatedly criticizing someone’s diet can create frustration and strain relationships over time.

At the same time, the situation raises another question: when conflicts arise between family members living under the same roof, who should adapt? Should someone change their habits just to keep the peace, or is it reasonable to expect others to respect personal choices—especially when those choices are based on medical advice? What do you think? If you were in this situation, would you adjust your behavior to avoid conflict, or stand your ground in your own home?

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