AITA for taking my son to the doctor about his height?

The 16-year-old boy stands at 5’4”, while his father is 6’5” and his mother 5’8”. That difference has quietly lingered in the background for years. After being mostly absent following his divorce, the 48-year-old father rebuilt his relationship with his son in recent years.

Lately, though, their conversations have centered around one sensitive topic: height. The teen has grown increasingly self-conscious and kept asking whether he might still grow taller. Eventually, he asked to see a doctor. His dad agreed. What he didn’t expect was that getting a clear answer would create even more tension at home.

‘AITA for taking my son to the doctor about his height?’

The father began by explaining his family background:

I (48M) have a son (16M) with my ex-wife (46F). We were only married a few years, and after we split, I wasn’t really involved in their lives for a...

I reconnected with my son a few years ago and since then we’ve built a good relationship. Lately, my son has been really self-conscious about his height. He’s 5'4". I’m...

After bringing it up several times, the teen asked for clarity:

He brought it up to me a few times and finally asked if he could see a doctor to find out if he’s still growing. I run it by his...

We went to the doctor and they did an X-ray. Turns out his growth plates are closed. He’s done growing and 5'4" is going to be his final height. The...

The result hit the teen hard:

My son took it pretty hard. He told me he feels like something’s wrong with him and he doesn’t know how people are going to treat him for the rest...

When I told his mom what the doctor said and how our son feels, she got mad at me. She said I shouldn’t have taken him in the first place...

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At its core, this situation centers on a teenager grappling with body image at a vulnerable age. Being significantly shorter than both parents can intensify that insecurity. The fact that he directly asked for medical confirmation suggests he was already anxious and searching for certainty.

The mother’s reaction reflects another common parental instinct: protect the child from painful truths. Laughing it off or using lighthearted labels might seem comforting, but for a teen already struggling, it can feel dismissive. Adolescents often want honesty—even when it’s hard to hear.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, author of Untangled, has noted that teenagers need accurate information delivered with empathy, and that uncertainty often fuels anxiety more than difficult truths. When a young person asks a direct question about their body, avoiding it can amplify their fears.

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Medically speaking, several commenters suggested seeing a pediatric endocrinologist, since male growth can continue into the late teens or early twenties. Seeking a second opinion could offer reassurance either way.

Beyond medicine, though, emotional support is crucial. Cultural messages frequently tie masculinity to height, even if subtly. Open, ongoing conversations about self-worth, confidence, and identity may ultimately matter far more than any number on a growth chart.

See what others had to share with OP:

Many readers firmly supported the father:

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mt9572 − NTA but did you talk to your son about how his masculinity isn’t relied on his height? I feel like that’s a conversation you should have with him...

HCIBSW − NTA Your son wanted answers. His mom wasn't helping and you did. Why would she think giving him false hope for the next two tears was going to...

sunsettrekkie − NTA. You were just trying to be a good dad. Now your son has all of the facts, and he can hopefully start to learn to adjust to...

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Others urged further medical testing:

Wandering_aimlessly9 − For starters NTA... Get your son into an endocrinologist now... Boys growth plates don’t typically close until 17-21 so your son has a chance to continue growing... And...

Sea_Firefighter_4598 − NTA. Your son needs to see an endocrinologist to see if there is a thyroid or pituitary hormonal reason for his stature... It's odd that your ex is...

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annebonnell − NTA usually children are between their parents' heights... It's strange that the doctor said his growth plates have closed at 16. Males grow until they're in their early...

A few controversial takes also surfaced:

NOT-packers-fan2022 − Um, you’re 6’5, he’s 5’4 and your wife didn’t want you to take him to the doctor? You haven’t considered a DNA test?

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Ok_Nefariousness7478 − Lol, NTA. I would get a DNA test, too. And be there for your kid, regardless of the DNA result, as this is life impacting outcome for him.

And some emphasized that height doesn’t define a man’s success:

JanetInSpain − He's been conditioned... height = masculinity... Tom Cruise is 5'7"... Kevin Hart is 5'2"... None of those men are identified by their height. They are respected, admired, and...

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In the end, this isn’t just about 5’4”. It’s about how a family handles an answer that’s hard to accept. The father wanted clarity for his son. The mother feared that clarity would only deepen his pain.

Maybe the real question isn’t whether the doctor’s visit was right or wrong, but how the family moves forward from here. Was it better for the teen to know the truth now, or would waiting have spared him unnecessary hurt? What would you have done in this father’s place?

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