AITA for not getting rid of my cat after finding out my SO’s daughter is “allergic”?

A couple’s long-term relationship recently ran into an unexpected conflict involving a beloved family pet. After more than two years together and living under the same roof, things had been relatively smooth—until a sudden health concern brought a difficult question to the table. The man’s daughter, who lives out of state with her mother and visits only occasionally, was reportedly diagnosed with a cat allergy after a severe reaction.

The news led him to suggest a drastic solution: finding a new home for the cat they all cared about. For his partner and her children, the idea felt heartbreaking. The cat had been part of their daily lives, and the daughter had even played with it during past visits without any problems. Now the couple finds themselves facing a dilemma about responsibility, compromise, and whether a pet that is part of the household should be removed for a guest who visits only once or twice a year.

‘AITA for not getting rid of my cat after finding out my SO’s daughter is “allergic”?’

The woman described the family situation and how rarely the daughter visits.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years and live together. He has an 11 year old daughter who lives nearly full time with her mom out...

I've met his daughter and she has been over to our house maybe a total of 3 times. We have a cat who we all love dearly, including my two...

The cat is deeply loved by the household and never caused issues before.

Recently, my boyfriends ex contacted him saying their daughter had a "severe allergic reaction to a cat and had to go to the doctor and that she is allergic to...

The problem started after the boyfriend’s ex claimed their daughter had a serious allergic reaction.

My boyfriend mentioned the possibility of getting rid of our cat because of this. Am I the a__hole for not wanting to get rid of our beloved family pet for...

Allergies can sometimes appear unexpectedly, even after someone has previously interacted with an animal without symptoms. Medical experts note that repeated exposure to allergens can eventually trigger reactions that were not present before. Because of this, it is possible for a child who previously played with a cat without issue to later develop an allergy.

At the same time, solutions often exist that do not require removing the pet entirely. Many families manage pet allergies through medication, air filtration, frequent cleaning, and limiting where animals are allowed in the home. Temporary arrangements, such as keeping the pet in a specific room or arranging short-term pet care during visits, can also help reduce exposure.

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This situation also highlights a broader relationship challenge. Decisions about pets, children, and living arrangements involve balancing different responsibilities within blended families. A healthy resolution usually comes from discussing practical options and finding compromises that acknowledge both the child’s health needs and the emotional value of a long-term pet.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many users supported the woman’s decision to keep the family pet while exploring other options.

MrsWeasley9 − NTA for not wanting to get rid of the cat, but don't be so quick to dismiss the allergy. Allergies are notorious for popping up after previous exposures...

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But before you consider getting rid of the cat for an occasional resident, I would consider absolutely everything else. Like, how sure are they that it was the cat and...

Exactly what is severe? If she went to a doctor and not a hospital, is this something that could be treated with meds while she visits? Could the entire family...

WolfGoddess77 − You're NTA for wanting to keep your cat when the person allergic to it almost never visits, but you should be aware that people can spontaneously develop allergies...

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Just something to keep in mind, so maybe you can have some OTC allergy medicine on hand for when she visits.

MarsupialMaven − NTA. Your BF only sees her a couple times a year. Get a hotel room!

C_Majuscula − NTA, ask for proof. While it's possible that an allergy developed, it could be his ex messing with you. If there is proof, I would follow the recommendations...

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deep clean the house before she comes, brush as much as possible, give the cat a bath, and consider limiting the cat to one room during her stay.

Others focused on practical compromises that could help everyone involved.

Garamon7 − NTA Your BF suggestion is awful, considering his daughter lives with her mother "nearly full time". For her visits - maybe you can find a trusted pet sitter...

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And clean a house? It should be enough. If she has "a severe allergy" she will need medication anyway, since many people have cats.

imastarbursteater − There is a food made by Purina that blocks the allergen in pet fur. Purina Live Clear cat food. Check it out. I’m a veterinarian, have cats, and...

[Reddit User] − NTA. Possible solution: there is a cat food that seriously lessens pet dander, you could get a bag and use it in the weeks before she comes.

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My stepmom who is severely allergic uses it and she is able to live full time with my dad’s cat. Sorry you’re having to deal with this! ETA: the cat...

A few commenters added lighter or blunt reactions to the situation.

Mommabroyles − NTA she may have been allergic to something used on the cat. My nephew wound up in the ER twice with severe allergic reactions when he was 5...

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Doctors did allergy panels and basically said he was allergic to everything including most meats, eggs, dairy, dogs, cats, trees, grass etc.

I told my sister there was no way they are right and we started pinpointing what happened before each reaction. Both times he had been to his grandma house playing...

Called up grandma and after a bit of a chat we realized she had given them a flea dip bath before he came over both times.

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Case solved, he was allergic to the flea bath she was using. She ditched it and he's never had a reaction since, even though we didn't change anything else in...

My_igloo_is_melting − NTA, but your future ex-BF sure is.

Fenris304 − NTA - I'd sooner ditch a boy/girl/theyfriend than my boy ✌️🐶

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Situations involving pets, children, and health concerns can quickly become emotionally complicated. For many households, pets are deeply loved companions, making the idea of giving them up extremely difficult. At the same time, a child’s health and comfort must also be considered when planning visits.

Finding a solution may require creativity and compromise rather than drastic measures. Options such as medication, cleaning routines, temporary pet care, or adjusting living spaces could help everyone feel more comfortable. What would you do in this situation? Should the household prioritize the visiting child’s allergy, or is it reasonable to keep the pet given how rarely she visits?

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