WIBTA For Excluding My SIL’s Kids From Coming On Our Boat?

What was supposed to be a fun summer boat trip turned into chaos. Kids got seasick, ignored safety instructions, and even nearly pushed someone off a moving boat as a “joke.”

The 43-year-old father said he simply wanted to include his wife’s sister’s children in a day on the family boat. But after that experience, he’s hesitant to invite them again. Now that he’s planning another outing with other relatives, he’s intentionally leaving those two kids off the guest list—something his wife feels might be a little harsh.

‘WIBTA For Excluding My SIL’s Kids From Coming On Our Boat?’

It started with him describing the previous trip:

I (43M) have two kids (both 12F) with my wife (42F). So, since it summer, we've been going on a boat we own for the past few weeks, and last...

First, SIL didn't inform me her kids (9F and 7M) are pretty seasick, and they threw up on my back, but that was the least of the problems.

They kept trying to jump into the water for some reason, completely ignored water skiing instructions (which I explained 6-8 times), and almost pushed my daughters off of the boat...

Things only escalated once they got back:

When we got back, SIL lectures me about how I could let her kids get seasick (which remember, I wasn't aware of, lucky for them my wife carries those white...

Which is untrue, because they gave water skiing a try, and they hated it, so then they did tubing, which they liked. That resulted in another telling off from my...

Now he’s planning another trip:

Planning on going again this weekend, and I'm planning on taking my own sisters kids (2 kids), my sister and her husband, and my wife's way older niece of another...

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WIBTA? My wife thinks that it's kind of mean, even though I really don't want to deal with that again.

Boat safety is no small matter. According to the U.S. Coast Guard, many boating accidents involve rule violations or inadequate supervision of children. On a moving vessel, even a split-second decision can lead to serious injury.

In this case, the father isn’t just hosting a family outing—he’s legally responsible for everyone onboard. In many places, the operator of a watercraft carries liability if negligence results in harm. When children repeatedly ignore instructions, the risk multiplies for everyone involved.

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Maritime safety educator John Fetterman has emphasized in boating seminars: “Children on board must understand that a boat is not a playground. Clear rules and immediate consequences are essential.” Firm enforcement in hazardous environments isn’t harsh—it’s necessary.

From a family standpoint, exclusion can sting. But when safety concerns are real and parental supervision is lacking, declining to extend another invitation may be reasonable. A compromise could involve requiring the parent to attend and directly supervise, or postponing until the children are older and better able to follow safety rules.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The community response was overwhelmingly consistent, many focused on safety above all else:

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RoyallyOakie − NTA. ..No child should be allowed on a boar with being told the rules. If they can't follow said rules, they shouldn't be on the boat.

Flimsy-Field-8321 − NTA at all. When my elder SD was around 10, we had a sailboat. We were coming home one day in fairly heavy weather,

and SD was arguing with me about why she had to immediately obey when told to do something by the captain (her Dad). She was told that any further argument...

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cascadia1979 − NTA. As the skipper of the vessel you are responsible for the safety of everyone on board - and if some people are not going to be safe...

No_Noise_5733 − As a very long time yacht owner/sailor I have always made it clear kids get one chance to obey the safety rules and if they dont then they...

As the captain you are responsible for everyone on board, their behaviour and the outcome of their actions. If you cant afford to be sued then thats it.

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[Reddit User] − From a safety standpoint alone, NTA. It sounds like they could have gotten someone seriously hurt.

cocopuff7603 − NTA: Safety is your primary concern on the boat. Your children aren’t safe (almost pushed over by SIL children) SIL children are not being safe (trying to jump...

They both are prone to sea sickness and didn’t enjoy themselves. Plus who the hell wants to be around children that refuse to listen and are a safety hazard to...

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Some felt the near-push alone justified a permanent ban:

C_Majuscula − NTA. Honestly, trying to push anyone off a moving boat earns a perma-ban all on its own.

The-Hive-Queen − The moment one of them pushed your daughter should have been the moment the day trip ended for them. Back to dry land and not allowed anywhere near...

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I should send my dad to give them the lecture. Let him show the SIL and her kids the scars where a motor absolutely fucked his knee.

The surgeries he had to put his leg back together. The weeks he spent in the hospital. The months he spent in physical and psychological therapy.

The years of resentment, anxiety, mistrust, and hyperviligance. All because one of my brother's friends thought it would be funny to push him into the water. NTA.

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Others pointed toward parenting responsibility:

Responsible-End-6371 − NTA Obviously, your SIL has discipline issues with her children. I have 2 kids myself, and my son can sometimes fail to follow the rules.

I don't make excuses for him. I discipline him in an appropriate manner. "Soft parenting" is all the rage these days, and it is mostly a failure.

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There are very few kids that can excel in an environment without boundaries, discipline, and structure.

Having-hope3594 − NTA. Boat safety is of premium importance. The SIL should have been on the boat to ensure their behavior. Driver of the boat has to many other things...

Some emphasized he doesn’t owe anyone an invitation:

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Haunting-Juice983 − NTA You’ve invited 5 people plus yourself, to enjoy a day on the water You owe SIL nothing I’m thinking on a general boat, this is pretty much...

Hour-Reflection-8003 − NTA. Your boat, your rules. Ensuring safety and enjoyment for everyone involved is crucial, and it sounds like a lack of discipline and preparation on SIL’s part led...

It's reasonable not to want a repeat of that situation. Plus, being proactive about who you invite on such outings is part of being a responsible boat owner.

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anothertypicalcmmnt − NTA why would the SIL even expect you to invite them after she and the kids basically said they had a terrible time because of seasickness and you...

If for some irrational reason she's hurt by this you honestly say you didn't think the kids would want to go again because of the aforementioned reasons.

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EJ_1004 − YWNBTA go ahead and if SIL asks tell her exactly this. “Honestly, after your reaction last time I figured they wouldn’t enjoy it.

They threw up and were seasick the whole time last time. Really put a damper on the event for them. A couple of other things happened as well but those...

In light of last year, I’m just not comfortable taking them out on the boat. ” Then say no more. No need to fight or argue about it. You aren’t...

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On open water, impulsive behavior can have serious consequences. This father now finds himself weighing family harmony against the responsibility he carries as the person behind the wheel.

What would you do? When safety is genuinely at risk, is excluding someone the wrong move—or simply common sense?

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