WIBTA if I spent the money meant to pay someone who did a job for me?

Sometimes the strangest moral dilemmas aren’t about refusing to pay someone — but about trying to. In this unusual Reddit story, a 70-year-old woman hired a man named Jason to build a new chicken coop in her backyard. He completed the job efficiently, worked through brutal summer heat, and then… disappeared before ever naming his price.

Months passed. She texted him seven times, called twice, and even asked the lawn guy who referred him to help track him down. Nothing. Now she’s left holding the money she fully intended to pay him — unsure whether she would be wrong to spend it if he never resurfaces. Is this a case of generosity gone quiet, a misunderstanding, or something more complicated?

‘WIBTA if I spent the money meant to pay someone who did a job for me?’

How the job began through an unexpected referral:

I(F70) have backyard chickens. I planned to have a new, bigger coop built for them this year. My regular contractor ghosted me a couple times for an estimate, so I...

My lawn guy said he knew a guy that would probably be willing to do it, and he probably \*\*wouldn’t\*\* ask for money. I said I would feel bad if...

Lawn guy gave my number to a guy, Jason, who texted me and arranged for him to come look at the site and discuss what I wanted. He was stoked...

I told him I didn’t care when he did it, as long as it was done by the end of July. It occurred to e after he left that we’d...

I ordered the materials online from Home Depot, then Jason and I went there and picked it up with his truck. I paid for everything.

The completed job and the unanswered question:

For the next couple weeks, he came by after work. He finished the job a week before the end of July. After he picked up all the building materials and...

He said that he’d need to figure that out since he’d picked up a few things at Home Depot, and needed to calculate his costs, and that he’d let me...

ADVERTISEMENT

As of today (11/17) I have not heard from Jason to pay him. I have texted him 7 times, called him a 2 times, even asked Lawn guy to pass...

I have been unable to contact Jason and Lawn guy is apparently reluctant to disclose any personal information about Jason, and kind of smiles when he says that.

My son, an attorney, says that since we didn’t discuss a price and there’s no contract, and I bought the materials, I am not legally obligated to pay him if...

ADVERTISEMENT

Also, the fact that Lawn guy said Jason would “probably do it for free” tells me that Jason had no intentions of taking money for the job. Why, I have...

Sometimes I joke that I got reverse scammed – he did the work and ghosted me for the money rather than taking the money and not showing up for the...

I’m not complaining, but I feel bad that he did all that work in the brutal heat and I haven’t been able to pay him. My thought is to hang...

ADVERTISEMENT

I feel like I have done my due diligence in trying to contact him. I only have his phone number and first name, tried reverse lookup on his phone number,...

UPDATE: I found him, thanks to a suggestion I search his phone number on PayPal or Venmo. I found him on PayPal, sent him $550 and a note thanking him...

Thanks for ALL of the kind words here, and for some of you, thanks for the laughs and giggles. To put some minds at ease, I'm 1,000% positive he didn't...

ADVERTISEMENT

From an ethical standpoint, this situation revolves around intent and reasonable effort. The homeowner clearly expected to pay and repeatedly attempted to do so. That demonstrates good faith. However, informal agreements without written contracts can create gray areas — especially in service work.

One commenter raised the legal doctrine of quantum meruit, which allows compensation for services rendered even when no price was agreed upon, provided payment was expected. In practical terms, that means Jason could theoretically claim reasonable compensation later.

Morally, though, the central question becomes: how long is someone obligated to hold funds for an unclaimed debt? Most ethical frameworks would suggest that if she has made multiple sincere attempts to contact him, setting aside money for a reasonable period — such as a year — would reflect fairness without burdening herself indefinitely.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ultimately, this appears less like avoidance and more like a case of generosity possibly meeting generosity. The uncertainty is uncomfortable — but it is not malicious.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Redditors were surprisingly charmed by the situation, offering humor, legal insight, and practical advice.

Many users reassured her that she had already done enough to act in good faith:

ADVERTISEMENT

Actual-Existential − NTA but what did he bury in your yard????

clxz2106 − NTA, maybe he's just a kind dude. If he does come back after you've spent the money, and you want to pay him then, you can figure it...

madsheeter − NTA - It seems like you ran into a nice person willing to help out, and you have indeed done your due diligence in trying to pay for...

ADVERTISEMENT

Ippus_21 − NTA Either he made an excuse to not give you a price because he didn't want to be paid… or you can't get ahold of him because something...

Others suggested practical safeguards to balance fairness and caution:

Cosmohumanist − You seem like a good hearted person… get $200 in $20s, put it in an envelope and stash it away till the spring.

ADVERTISEMENT

reduff − NAH, but I think I would send him one last text message giving him the Dec 31, 2025 deadline.

revelations9256 − I would keep put the money in your savings account and forget about spending it for at least 1 year.

Professional-Ad4787 − Maybe set some $$ aside for when he does reach out. It would be pretty awful if he ended up not getting paid.

ADVERTISEMENT

One commenter with legal expertise offered a more technical caution:

Successful_Image3354 − Your son, the lawyer, is wrong… there is a legal concept called quantum meruit… I am an attorney practicing commercial, contract, and construction litigation in NJ for 41...

And some responses simply added warmth — and a little humor:

ADVERTISEMENT

RUAmazed − NTA. Ask your lawn guy if he knows anything about fixing sump pumps.

Lovelyone123- − I hope he is ok.

This story highlights how rare — and refreshing — it is to see someone worried about paying a debt rather than avoiding one. The homeowner made repeated, documented efforts to compensate Jason, demonstrating clear integrity.

ADVERTISEMENT

While informal agreements can create uncertainty, ethical responsibility often lies in intention and reasonable effort. In this case, she ultimately did exactly what felt right: she kept trying until she found a way to pay him.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *