AITAH for not tell my friend my shampoo had green hair dye in it?

A man with a bright green mohawk found himself at the center of unexpected drama after a houseguest left his shower with green-streaked hair. He maintains his bold hairstyle by mixing green dye into his shampoo and conditioner, a common trick among people with vivid hair colors.

When a friend stayed over unexpectedly and asked to shower the next morning, he told her to use his husband’s shampoo instead, explaining that his was for his green hair. She agreed. But after choosing to use his products anyway, she emerged shocked to find her blonde hair tinted green. Now she’s telling their friends he should have warned her more clearly. He turned to a social network to ask if he was truly in the wrong.

‘AITAH for not tell my friend my shampoo had green hair dye in it?’

His hair care routine requires a little extra maintenance.

I’m a guy with a bright green mohawk. i've had green hair for a while. i have to use a lot of hairspray to get it to stick up so...

this makes the green fade pretty fast so i mix green hair dye with my shampoo and conditioner to make the color last longer. this is a common thing people...

An overnight stay led to an unexpected shower mishap.

anyways, one of my friends stayed the night at my apartment after a show we went to because she missed her bus. in the morning she asked if she could...

she obviously didn't have anything of hers because she hadn't planned to stay the night so i let her use my stuff.

i showed her how to use my shower and told her to use my husband's shampoo and conditioner because "mine is for my green hair" and she said "okay" i...

Ignoring the warning came with colorful consequences.

when she came out i heard her gasp and scream and i asked her if she was okay. she started screaming that her hair was green and sure enough her...

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i asked her why she used my shampoo and conditioner when i told her it was for my green hair and she said she thought i meant it was a...

special shampoo and i just wanted to keep it for myself and that i should have specifically told her it had green dye in it.

for context: the bottles are pink and opaque but the caps are clear and are now stained green. the liquid inside is also green from the dye.

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i told her i thought it was obvious what i meant, but if she didn't fully understand me, she should've just respected my things enough to not to use them...

now she won't talk to me and is telling all our other friends i’m an a__hole for not telling her about the dye.. maybe i could have been more specific...

In this situation, the poster gave a direct instruction: use his husband’s shampoo and not his own. From a practical standpoint, that warning alone establishes a boundary. Guests are generally expected to respect household guidelines, especially when alternatives are clearly provided. The friend’s choice to ignore that direction because she believed he was “gatekeeping” complicates her argument. Her assumption suggests a lack of trust and an interpretation driven by suspicion rather than clarity.

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On the other hand, misunderstandings can happen. Some people might interpret “it’s for my green hair” as meaning it protects dyed hair rather than containing dye itself. While the liquid’s green color and stained cap could be considered visual cues, not everyone processes those details the same way. A more explicit warning may have prevented the confusion altogether.

Broadly, this conflict reflects how small assumptions can escalate into bigger interpersonal rifts. Respecting stated preferences, even without full understanding, is often the simplest path to avoiding unnecessary fallout.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many users strongly supported the poster’s stance and reasoning.

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dystopiadattopia − "I used the shampoo you told me not to use because I thought you were gatekeeping! " Lol. NTA.

IllustratorSlow1614 − NTA This wasn’t her grabbing the wrong bottle by mistake, she intentionally used your stuff because she thought you were gatekeeping fancy shampoo,

even though it’s your right to keep your products for yourself and not have to share with guests. She deserves the messed up hair.

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Mother_of_Crows − NTA- you’re correct, she should’ve just respected your stuff. FAFO

Spicemaster93 − NTA You specifically told her not to use your shampoo.

Dependent-Passage-30 − Shes an i__ot and a terrible, entitled house guest. NTA

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Others offered more balanced takes while still acknowledging responsibility.

WhiteKnightPrimal − NTA. I mean, I'd assume by what you said that the shampoo and conditioner was designed to protect and strengthen dyed hair, not that it had dye in...

But that's not really the point. You outright told her to use your husbands shampoo and conditioner, not yours, and she chose to use yours anyway.

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Saying she thought yours was 'special' actually makes it worse, because that also means more expensive, and you have to replace it quicker than usual because of her,

when you outright told her not to use it in the first place. That shows a distinct lack of respect for both your belongings and your money. And, most importantly,...

Having splotchy green hair is her own fault. You told her not to use your shampoo and conditioner, and that's all the warning she needs not to use it.

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This is the consequence of her deliberately choosing to do the one thing you told her not to. She's lucky, really, that it's simple temporary dye that essentially washes out,...

It could have been one of the permanent ones that have to grow out. She can go home and wash her hair multiple times until the dye is gone instead...

But this is totally on her, because you DID warn her. You may not have said 'this contains hair dye', but you did say 'don't use this', and that's more...

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atmasabr − "she thought i meant it was a good, special shampoo and i just wanted to keep it for myself and that i should have specifically told her it...

Anyway, someone who faults you for not being completely honest (edit: not that I even agree with her), solely because they stole from you (an act of greater dishonesty) is...

CrafterCuber − NTA? ?? Lmao it wasn't on purpose and you literally told your friend to use the other shampoo. It's her fault she "distrusted" and disobeyed you.

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A few users added humor to lighten the mood.

YourMoonlightShawty − You're not the a__hole, you didn't lie, you didn't trick her and you didn't hide anything. You told her it was for your green hair, that's as clear...

Winterfaery14 − "she thought i meant it was a good, special shampoo and i just wanted to keep it for myself and that i should have specifically told her it...

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This disagreement ultimately comes down to a simple instruction that was ignored. While clearer wording might have prevented confusion, the friend’s decision to use a product she was told not to touch played a significant role in the outcome. The green streaks in her hair became a visible reminder of that choice.

Was the warning specific enough, or should he have spelled out that dye was mixed inside? Should guests always follow directions exactly, even if they believe they understand better? How would you handle a similar misunderstanding with a friend?

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