AITA for making my friend’s cat lose weight while she is in my care?

She agreed to care for her friend’s cat for a year. She didn’t expect that decision might cost her the friendship altogether. When her friend moved to Europe for a work assignment, she asked if Juno could stay with her in the meantime. The instructions were simple: keep the gravity feeder full so the cat could graze whenever she wanted.

But after only a week of living together, it became obvious that Juno’s weight wasn’t just a cosmetic issue. She struggled to jump onto the couch. Her breathing sounded strained. Watching the cat waddle instead of walk forced the sitter to make a difficult call — one that would eventually spark outrage from thousands online.

‘AITA for making my friend’s cat lose weight while she is in my care?’

It started with a cat that had always been far heavier than normal:

Before leaving, she made it clear the free-feeding routine must continue:

After just a week, the situation became impossible to ignore:

The conflict escalated once the weight loss became visible:

With no one else willing to step in, the friendship hangs by a thread:

Feline obesity is far more than a cosmetic concern. According to the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention (APOP), more than half of domestic cats in the United States are overweight or obese. Excess weight places significant strain on joints, increases the risk of diabetes, contributes to cardiovascular stress, and can reduce overall life expectancy. What may look like a “chubby but cute” pet often masks serious long-term health consequences that owners underestimate.

Dr. Ernie Ward, veterinarian and founder of APOP, has stated, “Pet obesity is the greatest health threat facing our pets today.” Free-feeding dry food — especially without portion control — is one of the most common contributors. Cats do not always self-regulate effectively, despite a widespread belief that they will stop eating when full. Many indoor cats lack the activity levels necessary to balance unrestricted access to calorie-dense food.

That said, this situation isn’t purely about veterinary science. It is also about consent and trust. The sitter explicitly agreed to follow the owner’s instructions and later chose to override them. From the owner’s perspective, that may feel like a serious breach, particularly when she is thousands of miles away and unable to intervene. Even when someone believes they are acting in an animal’s best interest, altering care without collaboration can fracture relationships.

A more balanced approach might have included consulting the cat’s veterinarian and documenting medical guidance before changing the feeding plan. Professional input could have provided authority and eased the conflict. Still, when faced daily with visible suffering — labored breathing, difficulty jumping, reduced mobility — it becomes ethically complicated to continue a routine that appears harmful. The tension here lies between honoring a promise and preventing what feels like ongoing damage.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Online commenters didn’t hesitate to weigh in — and the overwhelming majority sided with the cat-sitter.

Many users strongly defended her actions, arguing that limiting the food likely saved the cat’s life:

Some commenters asked clarifying questions before fully deciding:

Others acknowledged the complexity but still felt she made the right call:

One user offered a more measured critique, suggesting a better approach:

And finally, there were comments that mixed support with sarcasm:

One side of this conflict centers on a promise made in good faith. The other focuses on the visible health of a cat who depended entirely on whoever was filling her bowl. The sitter broke her word, fully aware that it might damage the relationship. Yet the physical changes in Juno — easier movement, improved breathing, increased energy — are hard to ignore.

Was this an act of betrayal or an act of responsibility? When caring for someone else’s pet, should strict instructions always outweigh your own judgment if you believe the animal is suffering? If you were in her position, would you have followed the rules exactly — or made the same choice she did?