AITA for giving notice to vacate my house?

For nearly her entire life, this 28-year-old woman has lived with her mother. What began as family closeness slowly turned into financial responsibility, shared rent, and constant tension under one roof. Now with two young children and another baby on the way, she is ready for a fresh start with her partner.

When the lease renewal deadline approached, she made a decision. She gave notice to vacate. Her mother, despite months of arguments and clear conversations about possibly moving out, reacted with disbelief. The question now lingers: was this a failure of communication, or was it simply time for everyone to grow up?

AITA for giving notice to vacate my house?

After years of shared living, the financial imbalance weighed heavily

I 28 F, have been living with my Mum 46 F for almost my entire life give it take a year or two. Do I want to live with her?...

It's been a long road our history but as of right now, I have a partner 26 M. I have a daughter, 6 with a previous partner and a son,...

11 and a partner (daughters dad not mine), in his mid 30s I think.. We all live together.. My mum doesn't pay rent and neither does her partner. They pay...

She has told me that utilities cost the same or more then what we pay which I know is a flat out lie since I've seen and tallied all the...

Even after helping them secure steady jobs, tension continued

Me and my partner work for the same umbrella company so he got her partner a job and I got her a job. Two different jobs but same company overall....

The cycle of arguments made it clear this arrangement could not last

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Our time at this house has been rough to the point where we have had multiple verbal fights and every fight leads to going out seperate ways and moving out....

Our real estate has sent us countless emails asking if we are resigning. No one has replied since we have only just started talking again after yet another fight. I...

She believed she had made her intentions clear

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Since my mum is very narcissistic, I've been giving small hints about looking at houses etc. I said to her that I have to give notice soon because if I...

I told her she didn't have to move and that she could stay but we would go and she said absolutely not. So I took that as she knew now...

But when the official notice was sent, everything shifted

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So today. I have my official notice to my agent that we won't be staying after the 26th. Mind you, I don't have a house lined up and I know...

but because the agency is another company under our umbrella company we are pretty much guaranteed any house we want as long as we can pay the amount upfront.. My...

I'm so annoyed. You're a grown adult. You got all the emails. You've been involved in all the fights. It has been very clear we won't be staying together. We...

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I literally said days ago that I have to give notice and you need to hurry and sort yourself out money wise so you can a specifc house that's on...

AITA for not telling her tonight before I pressed send? Taking into account every day I don't is another day of rent I have to pay?

This situation centers on boundaries, financial responsibility, and communication gaps. Living with a parent into adulthood can blur roles. When the adult child becomes the primary financial contributor, the dynamic often shifts in uncomfortable ways. That imbalance can build resentment over time.

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While the daughter mentioned giving notice and discussed moving, she relied partly on hints and assumptions. Direct communication, even when uncomfortable, tends to reduce misunderstandings. At the same time, the mother had access to lease information and renewal emails. Responsibility does not fall on one person alone.

Family therapist Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute has said, “Conflict is an opportunity to learn how to love each other better over time.” In practice, that means clear statements rather than implied meanings. Saying, “I am submitting notice tomorrow,” leaves less room for denial.

For the daughter, the priority now is stability for her children and partner. Establishing firm boundaries, separating finances completely, and limiting emotionally charged debates may help protect her growing family. Sometimes moving out is not an act of betrayal. It is simply an act of adulthood.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many commenters encouraged her to move forward without guilt

norfolkgarden − Go and live your lives. Your mom will be completely frustrated and disgusted because she now has to pay for herself. That is not your problem or responsibility...

Gwenivyre756 − NTA. She got the emails too and still has the opportunity to tell the property management company that she

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and her partner have changed their minds and would like to stay. You and your nuclear family (spouse and kids) need to find your own place. Stop being your mom's...

Individual_Ad_9213 − NTA; you gave everyone proper notice. It's past time for you, your partner, and your family to move out and to get on with your lives. Enjoy!

Ok_Taro4324 − Nta. You are the child, supporting your adult working parent. It is not your job to parent your parents. Also, if your mother is a narcissist…3-2-1 to her...

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If you have the desire to stay with your partner, you need to get really good at boundary setting with this parent. M

Squiggles567 − NTA. She had enough warning, she just didn’t want to hear it. Stop letting her get in your head. You’ve been a doormat to her for 28 years...

It’s ok to put your new family first so that your children don’t have to grow up around all the fighting. They also deserve a mom who is not stressed...

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Others felt clearer communication could have helped

ProfessorDistinct835 − You never told her directly, you gave her "hints" and "took that as she knew now that she would be leaving once the lease is up. "

This doesn't make you an AH or her an AH particularly, but it is one of those problems that actual direct communication could have solved.

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BabyMumma3 − Okay so just to clarify, when I said to her directly that I have to give notice my exact words were "I need to give notice (to vacate)...

That's when the conversation of when is the lease ends date came about and when I told her that if she didn't want to leave she didn't have to. But...

She knows it ends on the 25th of next month. I didn't tell her specifically when/ what day I was giving official notice to vacate though. .she knew it had...

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I_like_fishing_ − NTA - But it does sound like all of you need to grow TF up and learn to talk about things out in the open. Good luck finding...

keishajay − NTA get out, get out, get out and then get some therapy. Your poor children have had to watch all of this fighting (and probably abuse of you).

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Nobody else, including any relative needs to be making decisions for you and if this is your 11 year old sister that you spoke to about it she might be...

Understandable if that's what it is but you have to make a life for yourself alongside the three lives you have and are bringing into the world. I wish you...

ScarletNotThatOne − ESH. You've been giving small hints to your mother though you already clearly knew. Could have just said it straight. But whatever.

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And some simply reacted to the chaos

DCpurpleTart33 − Unless you're leaving a lot of information out of this it doesn't sound like you're the AH at all. Get out of that situation and go enjoy your...

Shizeena780 − Your mom has been scamming you for free rent and then tried (and failed) to scam more out of you with bogus utilities. NTA but your mom and...

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taewongun1895 − NTA. Your mom could have confirmed things with you. It's not all on you to provide communication. You and your own family need space and distance from your...

u399566 − Tough s__t, Mom.   Time to grow up. NTA, obviously. .

RedditIsBrainRot69 − I can't imagine living life like this

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After years of financial support and constant arguments, this woman made a decision that feels long overdue. While clearer communication might have softened the shock, the lease had an end date and the tension had been obvious. At some point, building a stable home for her own children had to come first. Was she inconsiderate for not announcing the exact moment she hit “send,” or was this simply the natural end of a strained living arrangement?

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