AITA for Ignoring My Ex Who Cheated on Me When We Ran Into Each Other Years later ?

A man ran into his high school ex-girlfriend a decade after she cheated on him during his military deployment, and he chose to act like he didn’t know her. The encounter happened unexpectedly at his workplace, where she approached him and asked if he remembered her. Instead of reopening old wounds, he calmly denied recognizing her and ended the conversation.

The moment left his coworkers divided. Some believed he should have offered at least a polite exchange, while he felt that any acknowledgment would have reopened a chapter he worked hard to close. For him, the betrayal had been devastating, and ten years did not erase the pain. His decision sparked a debate online about whether ignoring someone who once hurt you is petty or simply self-preservation.

‘AITA for Ignoring My Ex Who Cheated on Me When We Ran Into Each Other Years later ?’

He Thought Their Tumultuous Relationship Was Behind Him

I was in a relationship with a girl when I was in high school. Our relationship was a bit tumultuous, with lots of breakups and reconciliations,

but we were still together when I left for military service, after graduation. About six months into my deployment, I started seeing messages on her Facebook wall from another guy.

When I confronted her about these messages, she insisted that they were just from an old friend and reassured me that nothing romantic was happening.

A couple of days later, I got a message from her admitting she had been cheating on me since the day I left. It was devastating, and I had a...

A Decade Later, They Crossed Paths Unexpectedly

Fast forward to now, about 10 years later, I was at work and saw her there unexpectedly. I didn’t recognize her right away, but when she called my name and...

She approached me and asked, “Do you remember me?” I said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t.” She looked really hurt but tried to continue the conversation, so I told her...

He Questioned Whether He Owed Her Anything

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My coworkers think I was cold-hearted for not acknowledging her and think I should have at least had a polite conversation.

But honestly, given how things ended between us, I had no interest in reconnecting or even acknowledging her presence. So, AITA for pretending not to remember my ex when I...

Running into a former partner who caused deep emotional harm can trigger powerful memories, even years later. In this case, the man experienced betrayal during a vulnerable time in his life while deployed overseas. Infidelity often leaves lingering feelings of mistrust and unresolved hurt, which can resurface unexpectedly in face-to-face encounters.

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From one viewpoint, basic civility is often encouraged in social settings, especially at work. A short, polite acknowledgment might be seen as mature closure. However, emotional well-being does not require engaging with someone who once caused significant pain. People have the right to set limits on interactions, particularly when those interactions are uninvited and emotionally loaded.

Ultimately, this situation highlights the tension between social expectations and personal boundaries. Closure looks different for everyone. Some prefer open conversations, while others choose distance. Neither approach is inherently wrong. What matters most is whether the decision supports long-term emotional health rather than reopening wounds for the sake of appearances.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users strongly supported his decision to ignore her.

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neophenx − NTA. Not only do you not owe someone a conversation just because you knew them 10 years ago (especially considering circumstances),

you especially don't owe them a personal conversation when you're at work, which is especially a convenient enough excuse to just dip out of that conversation that you never asked...

If she wanted to use the opportunity to try to apologize and s__t for everything back then, well any forgiveness you give for it would be on your terms anyways....

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nick4424 − The fact you pretend you don’t know her probably hurt her more than anything else you could’ve said or done.

fallingfaster345 − NTA. What you did was protect your heart after a surprise run in with someone who caused you a lot of pain. And you did it in a...

cascadia1979 − NTA. You were at work and wanted to maintain boundaries you’d set. You chose a way of doing so that minimized conflict and quickly ended an unwanted interaction.

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You did nothing wrong here at all. Instead you should be commended for handling this challenging situation well.

Critical-Bank5269 − NTA. And even better, your response total fcked with her belief that she’s the center of the universe and you’ll now live rent free in her head forever....

Status_Purchase_7904 − Nta, you made a baller move and I applaud you for it.

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Some commenters reflected on how the moment may have affected her.

Fun_Set255 − F__king jody strikes again

[Reddit User] − NTA. I don’t care how long ago it was, if you cheated on me you’re dead to me.

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Others shared personal stories or firm perspectives.

[Reddit User] − NTA -I did something similar when I ran into a woman who treated me horribly when we were in grade school.

She was miserable to me in 5th and 6th grade and then, thankfully, moved and changed schools by 7th grade. Never saw her again until I was home on break...

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I went to the local mall and saw someone kind of looking at me and talking to the person with her. We were walking toward each other and recognized it...

I had absolutely nothing to say to her. She gets close to me and, in the most phoney, syrupy sweet voice said, "Oh Vivienne, how ARE you? It's SO good...

She laughed and said, "Vivienne, it's me, Tara, from Smith School. " I continued to look at her blankly and said, "You must have me confused with someone else" and...

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and embarrassment on her face and her friend kind of snickering at her. 100% worth it. Haven't seen her since and it's been 30+ years now. Good bye, good riddance.

ShekkieJohansen − NTA. Anything from ignoring, pretending you don’t know her to telling her to “f__k off” is completely acceptable.

A chance encounter reopened memories of betrayal that never fully faded. Rather than engaging in small talk, he chose distance and self-protection. While some see his response as cold, others view it as a quiet assertion of closure.

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Is ignoring someone who hurt you an act of pettiness or a form of healing? Do we owe politeness to people who once betrayed our trust? How would you respond if an ex from your past suddenly appeared in your present?

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