AITA for refusing to switch shifts with my co worker, subsequently making her miss her vacation?

A 20-year-old university student found herself questioning her workplace loyalty after a co-worker’s actions left her exhausted and frustrated. Working part-time at a restaurant in Germany, she had already been struggling with a colleague who frequently assigned her the least desirable tasks and treated her condescendingly.

Things escalated when she was unexpectedly sent to manage the bar alone during a busy birthday event, despite having no prior experience there. She later realized the arrangement may have benefited her co-worker more than anyone else. Days afterward, that same co-worker asked her to cover two important shifts to avoid missing a vacation. Now she is wondering whether refusing would make her the villain in this workplace drama.

‘AITA for refusing to switch shifts with my co worker, subsequently making her miss her vacation?’

A university student struggles with a difficult workplace dynamic.

I(20f) started working at restaurant about three months ago beside being a university student. The restaurant I work at has two floors.

On the first floor is the restaurant and kitchen and on the second floor is the bar. Bar and restaurant are connected and owned by my boss, so the bar...

The bar is usually run by a woman in her late 50s but she sometimes helps out as a "normal" waitress in the restaurant. The restaurant only has part-time waitresses,...

We only have one full-time employee, the girl my story is about, "Kelly"(21). Kelly can be nice if she wants to but most of the time she is just super...

She always makes me do the dirty work, makes me run around, belittles me for minor mistakes, even yells at me if she's stressed out.

Because I am the "new girl" at work I don't feel comfortable to speak up, especially because my boss favours Kelly.

An unexpected bar shift leaves her overwhelmed and exhausted.

Last Wendesday I had to work and when I arrived at work Kelly was not there but instead a different waitress.

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She explained to me that Kelly is helping out the woman who runs the bar because there is a birthday party going on there and it's a lot of work.

About an hour later Kelly comes down from the bar, pulls me aside and tells that the bar woman needs me to go up to the bar and help out...

I had never worked at the bar before but when I told Kelly she just sent me off with a "you'll figure it out".

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I arrive at the bar and the bar woman tells me that she needs to leave at 9pm sharp because she needs to wake up early tomorrow and that's okay...

At 9.30 Kelly comes in, tells me to "have a good night" because the restaurant is closed now and she's going home. That's when it dawned on me. Kelly only...

Kelly also knew that I always have to get up at 5am on Thursdays. I ended up staying after midnight. I was home by 1am and got 4hours of sleep,...

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A vacation request forces her to reconsider workplace favors.

Today I recieve a text from Kelly asking me to take over her shifts on Friday and Saturday so she can go on a small vacation. According to her nobody...

If I don't take over her shift she won't be able to go on vacation. Honestly, I don't want to take over her shift after what she's doney but would...

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EDIT: For those who are wondering: I'm not American or British. I'm from Germany and the legal drinking age is 18 here so legally speaking, I was allowed to serve...

Workplace conflicts like this often revolve around perceived fairness and informal power dynamics. When one employee feels consistently assigned undesirable tasks while another appears protected or favored, resentment builds quickly. In this case, the student experienced a lack of preparation, poor communication, and what she interpreted as deliberate manipulation.

From one perspective, covering shifts is a common courtesy among colleagues in service industries. Flexibility can strengthen professional relationships and even open future opportunities. Some might argue that refusing could impact how management perceives her willingness to cooperate, particularly if the full-time employee holds influence with the boss.

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On the other hand, cooperation works best when mutual. The co-worker’s earlier decision to assign an inexperienced employee to handle the bar alone created exhaustion and frustration. The broader issue reflects a common challenge faced by young or new employees who feel pressured to accept unfavorable conditions to avoid conflict. The student’s hesitation highlights the importance of workplace fairness, clear boundaries, and communication between staff and management.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Many users support the poster, praising her refusal and reasoning.

ribbit100 − NTA - maybe she should be nicer to people. Also her vacation isn’t your problem.

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vixenlion − NTA and tell her you can’t do that shift. She gave you that bar shift so she could use the excuse that you did the bar before(so she...

DeengleBarryO − Regardless of anything you've said before your final paragraph, NTA. It's not your responsibility to cover her shifts.

TheMNdude − NTA - we reap what we sow. Just say no, you are not available, and don’t expand. If you tell her it’s because she’s TA, she will just...

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vandercunt − NTA - As someone who waited tables for five years while in university, do NOT cover those shifts. You will become her go to person for whatever she...

Some users offer balanced takes and alternative perspectives.

Teykos − INFO - What does your boss say? I would use the excuse that you are too worn out from when she just made you stay late on a...

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can-i-have-a-corgi − NTA. Because you don't owe Kelly anything. Also, why would Kelly plan a vacation knowing that she has a shift?

Saying that if you don't do it, she can't have a vacation sounds like a guilt trip to me, which is rather douchey, especially since a vacation is a luxury.

If it was say for an urgent medical appointment, it'd probably be more understandable That said, it's always good to take the high road and k__l people with kindness!

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TeddyLovedust − NTA. Don't treat people like s__t and then expect them to do you a favor. She made her bed, let her lay in it.

A few users lighten the mood with witty remarks.

cooking_bacon_naked_ − NTA but for the sake of seeing the silver lining, here’s my feedback. If you do have the time, and desire to move up in the industry,

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I’d say this s__tty situation could be turned around into a good opportunity for you. Kelly is a trusted employee who is liked by management, has a full time schedule,...

Sounds like you could be next in line as either a backup or replacement? IDK maybe I’m being too optimistic, but I remember hustling in the restaurant business in college,...

Maybe you can work a few shifts, show your boss you kick ass at it, and take over as the new Kelly? But if it’s messing with your school schedule...

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[Reddit User] − NTA - Kelly has never given you incentive to do a nice thing for her and I think you should tell her than when you say no.

The situation highlights the tension between professional courtesy and self-respect in workplace relationships. The student was placed in a difficult position once, and now faces another request that feels unfair given past behavior. While covering shifts can be part of teamwork, it often depends on mutual consideration.

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Would refusing truly damage her reputation, or is it reasonable to step back after feeling taken advantage of? How should young employees navigate favoritism and power imbalances at work? Share your thoughts: when does helping a co-worker cross the line into being exploited?

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