AITAH for telling my in-laws I won’t be attending family gatherings anymore as long as they keep pushing me to have a baby?

A 32-year-old woman and her 34-year-old boyfriend have been together for two years and living together for one. Early in the relationship they openly discussed major life choices and quickly agreed to remain childfree — a decision rooted in personal experiences from past relationships and family/friends’ lives. They both love being the fun aunt and uncle to the kids around them but feel completely fulfilled without parenthood.

His family, however, refuses to accept it. At every gathering since she met his parents, they bring up babies — asking “why not?”, insisting it’s “the most beautiful act of love,” even claiming she changed his mind (despite him always backing her up). After yet another round of pressure at the last family event, she stood up, declared she was done with the conversation, and said she would no longer attend gatherings if the topic kept being forced on her. Her boyfriend immediately supported her and they left together.

‘AITAH for telling my in-laws I won’t be attending family gatherings anymore as long as they keep pushing me to have a baby?’

She explained their clear agreement from the start:

I (32f) am together with my boyfriend (34m) for 2 years now, living together for 1 year. When we started dating we discussed some important life decisions to make sure...

Staying childfree was the main thing we both agreed on immediately simply because we have our personal reasons for it due to situations we’ve seen in previous relationships and with...

It’s not that we hate kids, we love all the children around us and act like the fun aunt and uncle. We just don’t feel like we’re missing out on...

I am an only child and my mother totally respects my choice for staying childfree although she would love to become a grandmother. My boyfriends family on the other hand...

The ongoing pressure from his side:

My boyfriend has a brother and a sister. His brother already has a son who’s 7 now and won’t be having a second, his sister is thriving in her single...

But his parents clearly want more grandchildren. Every family gathering ever since the day I met his parents, the topic of us having children is being brought up.

I was very honest from the beginning and told them respectfully that I don’t see myself becoming a mother and my boyfriend always backed me up by telling them that...

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And then they always try to change out mind, asking the “why not?” Although we already explained.

And stating that having a baby together is the most beautiful act of love and many other things that I don’t agree with personally, with all respect for people who...

A particularly painful comment:

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There once even was a comment of his mother stating that I made him change his mind because he always said he wanted children before he met me.

But I know his reasons and they have nothing to do with my opinions on it. I always bit my tongue and tried to change the subject but they still...

The breaking point:

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So the last time we all got together it started as a fun evening with laughs and updating on our lives until the question popped up again.

I was so sick of having this discussion over and over again so I just stood up and said “I’m not having this conversation anymore, and as long as keep...

And asked my boyfriend if we could leave. He immediately agreed and before anyone had a chance to say something he simply said to his family to stop pushing the...

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His dad stood up and tried to stop us from leaving and his mother started crying. His sister was too shocked to say anything and after we came home he...

saying that we were wrong for leaving and threatening with not coming over anytime soon if things don’t change. Also they all thought that I made that statement for the...

that this is a decision I made for myself and myself only. My boyfriend is now receiving messages from the family, telling him that he needs to rethink his life...

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Repeatedly pressuring someone about having children — especially after clear, respectful refusals — is a serious boundary violation. Childbearing is one of the most intimate and irreversible life decisions; insisting on it disregards autonomy and treats the person as a means to fulfill someone else’s desire for grandchildren.

The woman’s statement was not a threat — it was a consequence. She set a clear limit: if the topic continues to be forced on her, she will protect her emotional well-being by stepping away from those gatherings. That is a healthy, adult boundary, not punishment.

Her boyfriend’s immediate support is a strong positive sign. He didn’t leave her to defend herself alone and clearly communicated the boundary to his family. The fact that they blame her instead of examining their own behavior shows the problem lies with them, not her.

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Long-term, the family must accept that pushing this issue will cost them relationships — not just with her, but potentially with their son. Grief over unfulfilled expectations is understandable, but entitlement to someone else’s body and life choices is not. Therapy or mediation could help if they truly want to keep the connection.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Almost everyone supported her decision and praised her for setting a firm boundary:

Chance-Contract-1290 − NTA. The issue should have been dropped once you made your stance clear the first time.

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Top_Turnip_4737 − NTA. My MIL is like this right now. I just turned 29, and every time we’re around her she keeps reminding us that we’re getting old and need...

She keeps telling me I’m going to have a hard time getting pregnant, might miscarry, and I don’t want to be old struggling to usher kids around on a playground....

GladFeeling6700 − I’m sorry OP, this sounds miserable for you and your boyfriend. Kudos that your boyfriend actually stood up for what you both want.

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Can’t count the times I’ve read Reddit and the husband or partner can’t speak his truth and it all falls on the woman. This is incredibly amazing, how cool in...

Hidden_Vixen21 − It’s not a threat. It is an established consequence to their rude and disrespectful behavior.

lurker0277 − NTA but oh good lords, I am so sick of people pushing kids on people! Im a proud and loving mom of 1, and I am of the...

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The first hurts only you. The latter hurts innocent children. We thought we wanted 3, had 1 and are perfectly content. We decided 1 was enough and hes an AMAZING...

But ffs if one more person pushes me to have more, ill go crazy! I highly recommend being a parent to those who WANT to be a parent, but highly...

You clearly know this; your in laws clearly dont. Tell them to go volunteer at some kind of "big brother big sisters" program for grandparents if they want grandkids, or...

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Amazon_Fairy − NTA however, I would have certainly said “my mom doesn’t even question me about my vagina, you have your own daughter to question that way, please stop speaking...

Main-Yogurtcloset242 − NTA. Are they pressuring him to marry you like they're pressuring you to have a child? Bet not so these people suck. ..stand on business.

A few people shared humorous or sarcastic ways to shut down the pressure:

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GreenTravelBadger − His mommy CRIED. Ooooohhh, I would have loved to be there for that. Wouldn't it have been fun to clear the table with a sweep of your arm,...

and then your partner clambers on top of you with growly grunting l__t noises and all of his family members running around in little circles screaming and tearing at their...

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Worth-Season3645 − NTA…I would do the opposite. Next time it is brought up, just say, “You know, maybe tomorrow, probably never. But we sure as heck love trying every night!...

bdayqueen − NTA - Get a big jar (like the cheese balls one) and put a "Intrusive Questions $5" label on it. Take it to every gathering and put it...

Some emphasized that her boyfriend needs to take stronger ownership of managing his family:

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1RainbowUnicorn − NTA. But your bf is an AH. It is his job to handle his family. Why has he not shut this conversation down? ?? Did he not tell...

He should have set the boundary that any further discussion about kids will result in you BOTH leaving, and no longer attending gatherings. You need to be a united front...

This situation wasn’t about babies — it was about respect. OP communicated her choice clearly, repeatedly, and respectfully. When that wasn’t enough, she chose to protect her peace instead of continuing a conversation that left her feeling dismissed and pressured.

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Family disappointment doesn’t automatically mean wrongdoing. Sometimes it simply means expectations were challenged. Should people be required to endure invasive questions for the sake of harmony? Or is walking away the only way to make autonomy truly heard?

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