AITAH for making my husband pick up our daughter from school and take her home with him?
A 32-year-old mom is fed up after asking her 30-year-old husband to grab their 4.5-year-old daughter from school since he was leaving work early and the school is right on his way home. She usually picks the little girl up on Mondays and brings her to the office, even though she’s still working – her job is flexible, but she hates overusing it. He got upset, suggested dropping the kid at her workplace instead, then admitted he had “stuff” to do after getting home and didn’t want the daughter around for it.
When pressed, he said he needed to return items to Home Depot but refused to bring the girl along (even though she loves errands with dad). He ranted about not being able to clean the house with her there and how she was ruining his plans. The mom points out he almost never takes the kids anywhere alone – maybe four times ever – leaving her to handle everything, including work-from-home days for their 2-year-old. She feels like she’s asking for the absolute bare minimum of parenting.
‘AITAH for making my husband pick up our daughter from school and take her home with him?’
It started with a simple request for help on a busy day:
He pushed back hard and got defensive:
The deeper frustration came from his long-term pattern:
At its core, this highlights a serious parenting imbalance where one partner carries nearly everything while the other dodges even small tasks. The wife’s request was reasonable and convenient; the husband’s extreme resistance – plus secrecy about his “plans” – raised red flags for many about laziness, avoidance, or something hidden.
Family psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes that “healthy marriages share parenting loads equitably. Chronic avoidance of solo child time creates resentment, erodes trust, and can make one partner feel like a single parent in a two-person home” (from his research on marital dynamics and parenting at the Gottman Institute).
Real advice: Have a calm but firm talk listing out current loads and asking for real change – like scheduled solo dad time or shared pickups. If resistance continues or defensiveness escalates, couples counseling could uncover root issues (stress, depression, or worse). Prioritize your well-being and the kids’ – little ones notice when a parent pulls away, and it hurts their security.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Online, reactions were swift and mostly supportive of the wife, with lots calling the husband out harshly.
Most saw the request as basic parenting and slammed his attitude:
Many flagged shady vibes and suggested reevaluating the marriage:
One comment even tied it to a show for the “me time” secrecy angle:
This post shines a light on how uneven parenting loads can poison a marriage. The wife asked for basic teamwork; the husband’s meltdown suggests bigger problems.
What do you think – is this just laziness, or does the secrecy point to something more? If you’re in a similar spot, how do you handle it? Share below!
