AITA for faking being upset about infertility to shut down questions about kids?

A young woman has found herself repeatedly cornered by intrusive questions about when she plans to have children. Despite clearly knowing what she wants for her own future, her honest answers never seem to be enough to stop the pressure. What makes the situation more complicated is the strategy she eventually adopted to protect herself.

By leaning into a deeply personal medical reality and exaggerating her emotional reaction, she discovered a way to immediately shut down uncomfortable conversations. When friends later criticized her approach, it sparked a wider debate about whether defending one’s boundaries justifies using discomfort as a deterrent.

‘AITA for faking being upset about infertility to shut down questions about kids?’

It began with constant pressure and intrusive questions about having children.

I f23 am infertile and child free. I’ve known since I was a kid I never want kids, ever. But as most child free women probably know not wanting kids...

Since I finished high school I’ve been harassed about having kids pretty consistently, and I quickly learned saying I don’t want them just opens up for more harassment about it....

She started using her infertility as a shield to stop the harassment.

I’ve known I’m infertile since I was about 14. And since saying I don’t want kids isn’t good enough I have started playing into the infertility angle.

When stranger, acquaintances or extended family harass me about when I’m having kids, or why I’m not pregnant yet, I pretend to hold back tears, saying I’m infertile and can’t...

Playing up heartbreak about infertility People usually get flustered by this and apologize and leave me alone. So I find this to be a great solution.

Friends questioned her tactic, leaving her unsure if she crossed a line.

The thing is I was talking to some friends about this recently and they said I shouldn’t do that. And that it is an a__hole move to fake being upset...

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so I just want some unbiased opinions.. AITA for faking being upset about infertility to shut down questions about kids?

In this situation, the poster describes years of repeated harassment despite giving clear, honest answers about not wanting children. Social pressure surrounding motherhood can be relentless, and many people fail to recognize how invasive these questions can feel. Her response was not intended to deceive for personal gain, but rather to end conversations that repeatedly ignored her autonomy.

From another perspective, some argue that dramatizing infertility could trivialize the pain experienced by people who desperately want children but cannot have them. That concern comes from empathy, not malice. However, it places responsibility on the person being harassed rather than on those asking inappropriate questions in the first place.

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On a broader level, this scenario reflects a social issue where reproductive choices are treated as public property. The poster’s tactic highlights how quickly people retreat once confronted with the emotional weight of their questions. While not ideal, her approach underscores the need for greater respect for personal boundaries and the understanding that no one owes an explanation for their life choices.

Check out how the community responded:

Many users strongly supported the poster and criticized the social pressure to have children.

notpostingmyrealname − I was told I was infertile. I have 3 kids. Unless you don't have the anatomy to get pregnant at all, infertile doesn't mean sterile. Take precautions or...

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Candycane1808 − As someone myself who is infertile and doesn't want kids. .. Also at the tail end of my 30's . I get this, you are NTA , you've...

I get the it's never too late to look into help. ... Ooo have you tried IVF . ..... Now it's turned to . .. Why don't you adopt? ?...

consuelo_gordon − I am infertile and when people ask about kids I just tell them the truth. I’m so jaded now about it that I don’t really hold back tears...

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I’m just like “welp, I can’t, it’s horrible and devastating, are you glad you asked? ” People should just mind their own damned business, so if I can do it...

MuppetManiac − As a woman who is infertile, desperately wanted kids, and couldn’t have them, I wholeheartedly approve of this tactic. NTA. Traumatize them back.

chumleymom − I'm sorry my uterus is none of your business. .let's talk about your s__ life. .usually shuts up most people.

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Some users offered alternative approaches while still agreeing with the judgment.

Ok_Luck_1098 − If you are infertile you get to decide how to respond to the condition and recognizing it shuts down nosey people and maybe makes them think twice about...

CJCreggsGoldfish − I've always found "none of your business" to work well, personally. But I don't care if people get offended by it. They were rude first, to my way...

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simagus − Why do you have to fake being upset about something that is a fact? "I'm infertile" is the middle ground and truth.

A few commenters used humor or blunt honesty to make their point.

WifeofBath1984 − The a__hole move here is pressuring someone to have kids. NTA

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peakpenguins − NTA and lol go you!

This story highlights how invasive questions about reproduction can push people to extreme measures just to protect their peace. While the poster’s method may feel uncomfortable to some, many believe the real issue lies with those who refuse to respect clear boundaries.

Is it ever wrong to use discomfort as a defense against repeated intrusion? Should society rethink why asking about children is treated as casual conversation? And where should the line be drawn between honesty, privacy, and self-protection?

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