AITA for refusing to carpool with my coworker?

A convenient carpool arrangement between two coworkers living just blocks apart quickly became a daily ordeal for one of them. The driver enjoyed cutting commute time in half by using the HOV lane, while the passenger avoided slow public transit. The setup seemed perfect—until the passenger’s intense, onion-like body odor filled the car and lingered long after each ride.

After two weeks of enduring the smell, the driver honestly explained that the odor was too unpleasant to continue. The passenger became upset, arguing it unfairly doubled his commute and transit costs. The driver’s girlfriend suggested he should have first asked the coworker to shower or use deodorant. Now the driver feels guilty, wondering if ending the carpool without softer suggestions makes him the asshole, or if the ongoing issue justified his decision.

‘AITA for refusing to carpool with my coworker?’

It seemed like the ideal setup when the two coworkers discovered they lived just blocks apart.

Me (22M) and my coworker Jack(23M) live relatively close to one another (about 2 blocks apart from one another),

and we work the same hours and his house is directly on commute so when we realized this it was a no brainer for us to carpool.

Jack used to take public transit and I used to be stuck in traffic on the QEW (local highway that's notoriously slow) so being able to take the HOV and...

The daily drives soon became intolerable due to an intense odor.

The problem, Jack smells awful. Like not just like a little BO after a workout, but like f__king rank rotting onions. At work its tolerable but sitting in a car...

and the smell lingers for long after he's gone so my car just permanently smells abysmal. So after about 2 weeks of commuting together I had enough.

Honesty led to confrontation and second-guessing.

I decided that I should probably just be honest with him about the reason, and told him that the body odor was becoming unpleasant for me and that I didn't...

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He got really upset, telling me that it was unfair for me to just decided out of the blue to double his commute time and make him pay for public...

When I talked to my girlfriend she said I should've at least asked him to shower or something before just refusing to drive together,

but previous complaints have been made in the office and he didn't change his behavior so I assumed there was no point here. I genuinely feel awful and I don't...

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The main issue is that the driver suffered real, ongoing distress—40 minutes daily in a confined space filled with a powerful, lingering odor that made his car unpleasant to use even after the coworker left. Since multiple people at work had already raised the hygiene concern without any improvement, the driver reasonably concluded that further suggestions would be ignored. Ending the carpool was a valid boundary to protect his mental well-being, daily mood, and the condition of his personal property.

On the other side, critics—including the driver’s girlfriend—believe a direct but kinder conversation suggesting solutions (better hygiene products, medical check-up, etc.) could have shown more empathy. Sudden termination felt harsh to the coworker, who lost a significant time and money benefit overnight. Some medical or environmental factors (like diet, medical conditions, or living situation) might explain persistent odor despite basic cleanliness efforts.

Broadly, this reflects how informal favors can quietly shift into expectations. Being upfront, even if uncomfortable, often serves as the clearest signal for change. Prioritizing one’s own health and space in shared but non-obligatory arrangements is generally seen as fair, especially when prior warnings went unheeded.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Many users strongly support the poster’s decision, highlighting that he owed no lifelong ride and that honesty may ultimately help the coworker address a serious issue.

[Reddit User] − NTA. This is a tough situation but I think you honestly might have done this guy a favor in the long run by being honest.

He's gotta know that his hygiene is going to cause major problems in life. Better to learn the lesson like this than something way higher stakes.

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_Drumheller_ − NTA If several people already told him his hygiene sucks and he still isn't willing to change anything then this is fully on him.

HedgieTwiggles − NTA, but I knew someone like that. I felt bad for them. They had an extreme sensitivity to most antiperspirants. They showered daily, so it wasn’t a hygiene...

Turns out they *could* use the “clinical strength” antiperspirants sold in stores. I’ve also read articles of some people whose biochemistry just causes them to smell very poorly.

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This person might have a physiological issue going on. But if you’re driving on the QEW, I would hope he has access to healthcare and hopefully prescriptions that can help...

He’s just got to do something to address the situation. Again, I feel poorly for this guy, but you can’t make yourself sick and ruin your vehicle.

RiverSong_777 − NTA and maybe that’ll help him understand that stinking up shared spaces won’t go unpunished his whole life.

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While it may not be a fireable offence it’s certainly reason enough for people to spend as little time as possible in his vicinity.

ContentedRecluse − NTA You had an arrangement and it wasn't working for you so you ended it. You didn't sign a contract in blood to carpool forever more. He should...

latents − telling me that it was unfair for me to just decided out of the blue to double his commute time and make him pay for public transit His...

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His public transport costs are based on what the local transit authority charges, as he didn't choose to provide himself with an alternative way to get to work.

Neither situation is caused by you nor your fault. The appropriate response would have been to thank you for the time and money you saved him while you carpooled.

If he wants to carpool, why doesn't he provide a car? You could drive to his place and park, and then use his car to ride in together. That way...

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A smaller group offers more balanced or empathetic takes, recognizing possible medical or situational causes while still supporting the poster’s right to stop.

[Reddit User] − NTA Smelling bad is genuinely the worst insult someone can receive imo, how has he not changed?

Pyewacket62 − NTA by any means. My husband had incredibly strong body odor like your describing. He did shower twice day as he was a mechanic.

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His shoes had to be kept outside because they stank so badly. Cleanliness was the issue. He had renal cancer. Once chemotherapy started, no more eye watering body odor. EDIT...

A couple of lighter, humorous comments ease the mood by pointing out the universal awkwardness of the situation.

FreedomNew8405 − NTA. You done him a favour by telling him about his BO. Probably the best case of cruel to be kind. Not easy to hear but for his...

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Also, he was using public transport before, it’s not as if this was his first and only method to commuting to work. He was getting a great bargain by chilling...

assume free ride into the office in less time and more favourable conditions than a bus. You on the other hand making all the effort, and then having to stomach...

especially when he was told about it before by others, was getting the short end of the stick It wasn’t a pleasant conversation but your NTA.

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[Reddit User] − NTA imo There was a guy at school who smelled bad and he knew as countless people told him and a girl I used to sit next...

and stuff and it didn't change anything, she constantly sprayed deodorant and it made 0 difference. I don't think it's always about not showering I think sometimes it's also what...

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and if he's depressed who knows what environment he lives in. My best friend used to smell bad ALLL the time even if he showered and washed his clothes he...

and no matter how many times we told him it took my ex moving in and him getting a gf before he cleaned up his place, for real. Sometimes you...

This story illustrates how a helpful gesture can quickly become unsustainable when one person’s personal habits severely impact another’s comfort and property. The driver chose direct honesty after previous complaints went nowhere, while the coworker felt blindsided by the loss of a convenient perk.

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What do you think—was ending the carpool the right call, or should he have tried one more suggestion first? Have you ever had to address an awkward hygiene issue with a coworker, friend, or roommate? How did you handle it? Drop your thoughts and experiences in the comments!

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