WIBTA if I stayed home with 3mo old and did not fly to visit in-laws for the holidays which delays their meeting the baby?

The holidays are supposed to be joyful, but for parents of newborns, they can quickly turn into a source of stress. One parent recently shared their dilemma on social media after their spouse suggested flying across the country so extended family could meet their three-month-old baby. While the intention sounded loving, the reality felt overwhelming.

Between a baby dealing with reflux, long car rides from the airport, and two older children already struggling with changes at home, the idea of travel felt exhausting before it even began. Staying home seemed calmer and safer, yet the spouse felt hurt and unsupported by that choice. As readers weighed in, the discussion quickly shifted from holiday traditions to bigger questions about postpartum recovery, newborn health, and how much parents should be expected to sacrifice for family gatherings.

The conflict began when holiday plans collided with the realities of life with a newborn

Concerns about the baby’s health quickly became impossible to ignore

At the same time, the older children were already showing signs of emotional strain

The emotional weight of the decision left the parent questioning their own motives

Situations like this often reveal how differently partners experience the postpartum period. For the parent staying home, the focus is survival: feeding schedules, sleep deprivation, and managing a baby with medical discomfort. Choosing familiarity and routine is not avoidance; it is a form of protection for both parent and child.

From the spouse’s perspective, the trip may represent normalcy and connection. Introducing the baby to family can feel emotionally important, especially during holidays. However, emotional needs do not cancel out physical realities. Newborns, particularly those with reflux, experience travel very differently than adults imagine it.

According to pediatric guidance, infants are still developing their immune systems in the first months of life. Dr. Harvey Karp, pediatrician and author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, has emphasized that young babies can become easily overstimulated and stressed by prolonged travel, especially when sleep and feeding routines are disrupted. Stress in infants often shows up as increased crying, feeding issues, and poor sleep, which then affects parents as well.

A practical path forward starts with reframing the decision as temporary rather than personal. Staying home this year does not mean rejecting family forever. It means recognizing limits during a demanding stage. Couples may benefit from discussing alternatives, such as video calls, shorter visits later, or hosting family when the baby is older. Clear communication that centers the baby’s needs, rather than blame, can help prevent resentment while still honoring everyone’s feelings.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many users supported the parent’s decision, emphasizing newborn health and recovery

Others pointed out practical concerns and questioned why the travel burden fell on the parents

A few commenters offered lighter or compromise-focused takes

This story struck a chord because it reflects a reality many new parents face: balancing family expectations with physical and emotional limits. Choosing to stay home with a newborn does not mean rejecting loved ones, but it does mean prioritizing health, routine, and recovery during a demanding stage of life. With emotions running high on both sides, honest communication and flexibility may matter more than any holiday tradition. If you were in this situation, would you travel, or stay home and wait?