AITA for Saying No to My Husband’s Best Friend Living With Us After We Had a Baby?

Saying no to a close friend is never easy, but it becomes even harder when that friend is practically family. One woman recently found herself stuck in exactly that position after her husband’s lifelong best friend asked to move into their home for nearly a year. On paper, the request sounded reasonable. He wanted to save money, pay off debt, and finally get his life together.

At the same time, the timing could not have been worse. With a baby barely six months old, the couple was still adjusting to sleepless nights and new responsibilities. As the situation unfolded, social media users jumped in fast, offering blunt opinions, personal warnings, and even a few darkly funny predictions about how quickly things could spiral if she said yes.

AITA for Saying No to My Husband’s Best Friend Living With Us After We Had a Baby?

The situation was already complicated by years of familiarity and affection between everyone involved

I’ve known my husband, and subsequently his best friend, for 6 years. They’re childhood friends. His BFF, let’s call him Andrew, is what you’d call a “lovable i__ot”.

He’s really funny, and a good friend to my husband, but also a complete man child and doesn’t make the best life choices. Like I said Andrew is fun to...

Over time, Andrew’s financial habits became a pattern that raised quiet red flags

Throughout the years he’s blown his money on toys (motorcycle, 4 wheeler, etc.) and only has $2k saved up. Last week he approached my husband asking if he could move...

He said he can’t save much each month due to the cost of his rent and he’s really wanting to finally start saving and accumulate some funds for a down...

and also save enough to pay off some of the loans he took out for his toys. I love Andrew. He was the best man at our wedding. But I...

Living together had already shown her how quickly maturity disappeared when the two friends reunited

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Since they’re childhood friends, when Andrew comes around him and my husband act like teenagers. They drink, play video games, wrestle with each other..

it’s like a middle school bromance. I think it’s hilarious and all in good fun when it’s just once a week or biweekly that they’re hanging out. But I don’t...

The reality of a newborn shifted her priorities in a way she could not ignore

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To top it all off my husband and I just had a baby in January who is barely 6 months old yet. I just want my husband and I to...

and the big adjustments that come in the first couple of years of having our first baby. I feel bad that Andrew is in a financial predicament but fail to...

Saying no brought guilt, tension, and a lingering fear she might be the bad guy

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When I told my husband no, I could tell he was disappointed and he tried to argue with me about it. I’m starting to feel bad because like I said...

Situations like this often hit a nerve because they combine friendship, finances, and family life all at once. From one angle, Andrew’s request sounds harmless. He wants stability and a chance to reset. From another, the poster is protecting her household during a vulnerable stage. A new baby changes daily routines, emotional energy, and financial margins in ways outsiders often underestimate.

It is also worth considering the husband’s perspective. Long-standing friendships can feel like chosen family, especially when history runs deep. Wanting to help a friend does not automatically mean neglecting a spouse. Still, good intentions do not cancel out real-world consequences, particularly when the household dynamic is already stretched thin.

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Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman has noted that “stressful life transitions, like becoming new parents, require couples to turn toward each other more than ever.” When outside pressures pull attention away during this period, resentment can quietly build. Allowing a third adult into the home often amplifies that stress instead of easing it.

A practical path forward involves clear boundaries and shared decision-making. The couple could explore alternatives like helping Andrew budget, assisting him in finding a roommate, or setting short-term limits instead of an open-ended stay. Honest conversations about expectations, noise, finances, and childcare roles are essential before any compromise. Supporting a friend does not have to come at the expense of stability at home.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many users immediately supported the decision, focusing on the reality of raising a newborn

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You have a *baby*. You don't have the time or resources to take care of three right now.

ddra196 − NTA. If you let Andrew in, he may never leave. Don't expect him to change his spending habits just because he's living with you and no longer needs...

Most likely, he'll be a drain on your finances and he won't be able to move out since he'll never accumulate enough funds to pay off his loans and put...

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highwoodshady − NTA Andrew is a grown man, you and your husband have started a family. Now is not the time to turn your home into a frat house.

We'd all like to be in a position to help friends who have made questionable choices but he chose buying toys over fiscal responsibility. He needs to bail himself out.

bamf1701 − NTA. Sometimes friends are best taken in small servings living with them would destroy the friendship. Also, you have a newborn!

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You are 100% correct that your husband’s focus should be on the family and not playing video games with his BFF.

mdflmn − NTA: Him moving in would make the home a frat-house. With a new baby, yeah this is a no brainer to say no.

Others offered cautionary takes, warning about long-term fallout if boundaries disappeared

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blueflash775 − NTA. Husband doesn't want Andrew to stay to help him. Hubby wants Andrew to stay because it will be fun. This is what my crystal ball tells me....

He and husband act like teenagers. They drink, play video games, wrestle with each other. Husband takes less and less of a role in the household and the child. OP...

Andrew mooches more and more, shits on the toilet seat, spends all of his money and becomes unbearable to live with. OP brings it up with husband.

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Husband says OP is a b__ch. OP posts on AITA. AITA tells her to leave husband. If husband insists - cut to the chase and avoid the pain. Sorry.

Drops-a-lot − NTA- I can’t believe he would even ask to move in after you had a baby. I’m so glad you said no. If there aren’t issues in your...

there will be major ones if you allow him to move in. He’s a big boy. He’ll figure it out. Now go snuggle that baby!

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rideriderider − NTA. Yo, you have a kid. That takes precedence. He will actively take out savings from you guys. Food, water, electricity. A week is one thing, but straight...

Pythia_Of_Elysium − NTA. Someone with questionable judgement that sounds like a bull in a china shop doesn't mix with a small child. I have kind of an uneasy feeling that...

He sounds like a good guy without a mean bone in his body, but he doesn't sound like he's god a lot of ability to understand that actions mean consequences.

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Arbor_Arabicae − NTA. You just had a baby and that needs to be you and your husband's focus. If Andrew wants to better his finances, he can sell his toys,

get a roommate, or get a second job. There's no guarantee that he will move out, anyway, or that he will use this time to really save.

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More than likely, he would want your husband to do fun things with him (and spend money) and you'd be forced into the role of hall monitor and den mother.

No thanks. Have him over for dinner every now and then, by all means, or help him work on his budget. But money and friends don't mix.

A few comments leaned into humor or blunt realism to make their point land harder

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essssgeeee − He could sell some of his toys for a down payment, or to pay off debts. He could work a axons job. NTA Edit for auto correct: a...

TheRestForTheWicked − NTA. If he wants to reduce the cost of his rent he can find a roommate. Asking you to take on the additional financial burden that comes with...

DanetteGirl − NTA. You just had a baby. You don't have time to take care of Andrew and your Hubs when they inevitably turn into children playing as well.

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[Reddit User] − NTA - been there, done that. Want to know how it went? Husband and best friend haven't spoken now in almost 30 years.

At its core, this situation reflects a common struggle between loyalty to friends and responsibility to family. Wanting to help does not always mean being able to help, especially during major life changes like welcoming a first child. While Andrew’s situation is unfortunate, many readers felt the couple’s priority should remain their baby and each other. Drawing boundaries now may prevent deeper resentment later. What would you do if you were in her position?

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