Apparently I’m not allowed anymore children

What happens when family members suddenly decide they get a vote on how many children you can have? For many parents, the choice feels deeply personal, yet some relatives feel entitled to weigh in with strong opinions.

One woman experienced this firsthand after a routine 20-week scan. She casually mentioned the appointment to her mother, only to receive an immediate declaration: “You’re not having any more!” Despite being financially stable, happily married, and already planning one more child, she found herself facing unsolicited judgment. The double standard became even clearer when comparing her situation to her siblings’ more complicated lives.

‘Apparently I’m not allowed anymore children’

The day started with excitement and a bit of humor during the ultrasound appointment.

So I had my 20 week scan today and we’ve keeping the gender a secret until Xmas but we called both mothers to let them know that everything is okay...

While talking to my JMMum I mentioned the sonographer having a sore wrist and how I was sympathising with her because she’s got to manipulate her wrist and push down...

so when we were leaving I said ‘good luck with the next baby, I hope they behave!’ jokingly and she chuckled.. Well, my JMMum couldn’t get her words out fast...

The woman quickly explains her stable family situation and contrasts it with her siblings.

I’m 34 years of age and I’m happily married to my DH (29m). We own our own home and both work full time and adore our DD (10). My sister...

My brother (29) is unemployed and homeless with rage issues and d__g problems and he got his ‘friend’ pregnant.. ... and yet I’m told I can’t have more than 2!!!!!!!...

The central issue revolves around boundaries in family relationships. A pregnant woman shared a light moment about her scan, only for her mother to immediately declare she should stop at two children. The mother’s comment ignored the daughter’s stability, marriage, and clear plans. This triggered frustration because the same woman sees her siblings facing far greater challenges without receiving similar criticism.

The daughter feels controlled and judged, which stems from a common pattern where parents project their own values or fears onto adult children. The mother may worry about finances, workload, or societal expectations, yet expresses it in a way that dismisses autonomy. The daughter’s reaction shows a need to protect her decisions and family vision. Communication failed here because the comment came as a blunt command instead of curiosity or concern.

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Relationship expert Dr. Laura Schlessinger has noted that “boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” This applies directly — the mother crossed an emotional line by dictating reproductive choices. Without mutual respect for personal decisions, resentment builds quickly.

Practical ways forward include calm, firm responses in the moment, such as “That’s a decision for us alone.” Setting consistent limits early prevents repeated oversteps. The daughter could also schedule short, positive calls focused only on the current pregnancy. Over time, these small actions reinforce autonomy while keeping family ties intact where possible.

Check out how the community responded:

The online community reacted strongly to this story. Almost everyone sided with the pregnant woman, calling out the mother’s comment as overstepping and hypocritical. Readers shared their own frustrating experiences with family members who try to control how many children others can have. Many emphasized that financial stability and personal choice should decide family size, not unsolicited opinions from relatives.

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A large group of people expressed clear support for the original poster. They praised her for maintaining boundaries and pointed out the unfair double standard in her family.

Melody4 − Gotta love the audacity. Like who the F asked her and WHY does she think she has any say? I have two kids from a prior marriage and...

But SHE wanted a girl! She then told us that we should have any more because DH doesn't make enough money (um, he has a very steady job with great...

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The only health problem I had when I was pregnant was gestational diabetes and SHE was the one who kept trying to give me food loaded with sugar. Sounds like...

So no problem. Granted its her perogative not to be involved, but her loss. Iif she's anything like DH's, she's worse than useless anyway.

And P. S. , in DH's stepmonster's case, the fact that she was unneeded drove her into overdrive to become a total PITA that we've gone lower and lower contact...

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Dietcokeisgod − My mum says this allllll the time. Apparently I can have my son and ONE more and then I'm DONE. My womb my business? We are having 3...

IcyReplacement3339 − My mother in law said this after every kid since #3. We have 7. Yes we are done. But the point is, your family, your choice. No one...

Another group shared personal stories to show how common this controlling behavior is. They described similar situations with mothers, in-laws, or other relatives who felt entitled to dictate family planning.

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[Reddit User] − My mom used to pull this. My mom was not the JUSTNOMIL. But, she had a career and felt all women should have a career, not children...

Meanwhile, my brother married a woman who had four children by three different men and never went to high school (my brother was in the doctoral program at a well...

She convinced him to drop out of the doctoral program to marry her and my mom adored her and really wanted her and my brother to have a child.

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This would have made her 5th child and they would have been by four different men if she did that. She did not even have custody of the first three...

When I got pregnant with my second child, by my own husband, my mom flipped and got all angry. My husband is an engineer and I was a teacher.

DeSlacheable − "Oh good, a boy and a girl. Now you're done. " I can't tell you how many times I heard that. Now I have 3 boys and a...

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BrandNewMeow − Something similar happened to me. We had two kids really close together and it was exhausting when they were little. After waiting several years we decided it was...

I was getting older (in that 35+ bracket) and I knew it would be our last, but I just wanted one more baby to take the time to remember all...

So my mom was visiting from out of state and it was a really stressful day at work, and I was hoping for a positive test but instead I found...

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She just couldn't help herself. "Why would you want another baby? You have a perfect family right now! " Like you I had a good, stable job and I was...

My first two kids were wonderful. There was no reason to suspect a third would cause any sort of strain. Oh and also I was my mom's third and final...

So that certainly made me feel good as a human being! So that was definitely not what I needed to hear that day. She probably doesn't even remember saying it...

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It has definitely put a major strain on our relationship. I hate to say it but Covid restrictions have been a godsend because I have a ready excuse to avoid...

And you know what, she LOVES the kid that I did have about a year later. I bite my tongue but sometimes I just want to say, hey remember when...

Several readers offered practical advice or added light-hearted encouragement. Some focused on standing up firmly, while others appreciated the kindness shown to the sonographer.

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christmasshopper0109 − "That's not really any of your business, MIL. " You gotta stand your ground to these pushy people.

JoDoc77 − I love how JustNo’s think they can dictate whether anyone has anymore children /s As long as you have the financial means to care for them, have as...

The only people who have any sort of say in this is you, your husband, and maybe your older child. (I said maybe. I’m guessing they are an amazing child...

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When I got married my husband had a son. His JNmom made mention many times how she was glad he would always be the youngest grandchild. Basically telling us “no,...

When he was 15 my husband and I had twins and there couldn’t be a better big brother. The JustNo’s have no contact with us any longer, which is another...

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insertlaughtrack1975 − As a sonographer I would to say we love a mother/patient who is kind, patient, and jokes with us, you sound so sweet! But also I have always...

This story highlights how deeply personal decisions about family size can trigger unsolicited opinions from even close relatives. The woman’s stable life and clear plans made the comment feel especially unfair. It shows that boundaries matter — no one else gets to dictate how many children someone has when they can provide for them.

The experience also proves that standing firm often leads to stronger confidence in your choices. Have you ever faced a family member trying to limit your family plans? How did you respond, and would you handle it differently now?

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