AITA for choosing to be homeless versus live with my SIL?

Being evicted is devastating on its own, but facing it while six months pregnant raises the stress to another level. After five years in the same home, this couple was forced out on short notice when their landlord decided to turn the property into an Airbnb. With nowhere to go, they bounced between shelters, hotels, and short-term rentals, watching their savings shrink while applications went unanswered.

When they finally returned to their home state, family stepped in with promises of support. What they received instead was a surprise plan that felt less like help and more like a business arrangement. As emotions ran high, the woman made it clear she would rather sleep in her car than accept conditions she felt were deeply unfair. On social media, readers had strong opinions about whether she went too far or simply stood her ground.

AITA for choosing to be homeless versus live with my SIL?

The crisis began suddenly after years of stability, leaving the couple scrambling for options

My husband and I were just evicted 1.5 months ago on a 14 day notice to quit because the landlord was turning their property in to an AirBnB.

It went through the courts and was a legitimate eviction (we tried fighting it). I'm 26 weeks pregnant and we had been at this property for 5 years so this...

With no immediate housing, they exhausted short-term solutions and faced a painful decision

We called homeless shelters, stayed at Airbnb's and hotels and, despite numerous home rental applications sent out, we have gotten no where.

We were faced with having to leave state to go back to where our family is located. When we announced this, both MIL and SIL said they would branch out

and start helping us search for housing, which we were grateful for. So, we get back to our home state and we end up going to meet up with family.

Expectations shifted the moment they reunited with family back home

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But when we arrive, we were met with a "hey we didn't home search for you like we said because we came up with a plan. You guys are going...

Before even getting a response from us, they started talking in depth about what the plan consisted of.

The details of that plan quickly raised alarm bells for the poster

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So, basically SIL says we can have her office (which is barely big enough for a double bed and dresser- despite having a massive attic space that is completely unused...

and we can pay her $850 a month (and help purchase food for the house, help with bills, all while helping them with childcare to her 2 kids, chores and...

I'm not okay with it. Reason being is the fact that my SIL doesn't even have a mortgage. She was given this house as an inheritance years ago and her...

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Paying $850 a month for a bedroom that isn't big enough for us, let alone a baby, while chipping in on their bills, buying community food and being a maid/child...

Her refusal was firm, even as pressure and judgment followed

I will 100% stay homeless until I figure it out or stay in hotels and bleed all our savings dry before staying in a situation like that.

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I said I wouldn't do this and I would never agree to put that much on me and my husband while having a baby due soon and certainly wouldn't be...

and "this is the best option you will find". I'm basically being told I'm ungrateful. Am I wrong here? I truly refuse to go there. We have been here a...

This situation highlights how desperation can shift family dynamics in uncomfortable ways. When someone is vulnerable, offers of help can sometimes blur into control or financial advantage. The poster isn’t rejecting support entirely; she’s rejecting conditions that would leave her financially strained, physically exhausted, and emotionally cornered during pregnancy.

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From the sister-in-law’s perspective, she may view the arrangement as reasonable compensation for space and disruption. Still, the imbalance is hard to ignore. High rent, minimal space, and expectations of unpaid labor create a setup where one party benefits far more than the other. That imbalance is often what turns family “help” into resentment.

According to Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, “Resentment is the number one predictor of divorce.” While his research focuses on couples, the principle applies broadly. When people feel taken advantage of, the emotional fallout can damage relationships long after the crisis ends.

Experts often suggest separating survival needs from long-term arrangements. Short, clearly defined stays with minimal obligations can preserve relationships while buying time to regroup. For this couple, continuing independent searches, exploring extended-stay hotels, or widening their geographic net may protect both their finances and their mental health during an already overwhelming chapter.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many users immediately sided with the poster, calling the offer exploitative

olordmike − NTA, ​ They are not offering you charity but are offering exploitation.

CanisArie − NTA they’re trying to take advantage of you. They’re both scum. I hope things work out for you and your family.

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KMN208 − NTA I'd sleep in the car before I paid $850 in rent for a shoe box while being expected to still pay for food/ bills and offer unpaid...

Have you tried to put up an ad that you are looking for a flat instead of just reading the ads?

MainEgg320 − Your SIL isn’t offering to help you, she is trying to take advantage of your misfortune for her own benefit.

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“Helping” you would be offering to let you guys stay temporarily and/or store your stuff at a low cost until you found something else.

“Helping” you would be asking around for info on rentals, posting on social media asking if anyone knows of a place etc etc.

I could list out dozens of examples of “helping”. THIS is her seeing an opportunity to PROFIT off your situation.

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SIL is a huge AH, and truthfully I’d have a hard time wanting anything to do with her moving forward after she concocted such a one sided exploitive BS plan.

It says a LOT about her character. Don’t give in and trap yourself in a horrid situation like that. NTA.

angry-always80 − Nta they are trying to use you and bleed you dry. They set you up. Please do not take them up on this offer.

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Others focused on the financial and emotional imbalance of the proposal

YouSayWotNow − NTA If she wants you to pay that much rent and contribute to household expenses and groceries then she absolutely needs to offer you a reasonable amount of...

You are not the AH for not taking up that exploitative offer. It's kind of telling that they wouldn't offer you at least a few weeks use of that space...

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If they were actually trying to help, that would surely have been on the table. Stick to your guns and find an independent rental if you can. Renting from family...

If you can't find a good rental for that amount after looking, then you could consider renegotiation with SIL but I would avoid that if you can.

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Mimi862317 − NTA. What did your husband say about all of this? I would be beyond angry about this.

Cannabis_CatSlave − NTA Nanny's and maids get Paid, they do not pay for the privilege.

Full-Arugula-2548 − Pay an obscene amount of money for 1 tiny bedroom and get the luxury of being a nanny and maid. Well well well aren't they rolling out the...

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In all seriousness your husband is insane if he wants you to do this. They're trying to bleed you dry and use you for labor.

This makes me unreasonably mad. If you have flexibility for area I would start branching out and looking elsewhere.

Disastrous_Ad_8561 − NTA your sil is setting it up for her to use you while your down. Shame on them

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A few commenters added blunt realism or outside-the-box suggestions

idkwhyimdoingthis2 − If they approach you again, all you need to say is “you saw our difficult situation and thought you could mould it into a payday and maid service?

And the fact that you have an available attic and 3 unused bedrooms you could have offered, and you chose to offer the tiniest space is a further slap in...

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You’re trying to take advantage of not only your own brother, but a pregnant lady, too? You should be utterly ashamed of yourself.

I’d sooner take my chances on the street than with somebody like you.” I am mad for you, I hope your husband is as furious as you and not quietly...

CakeZealousideal1820 − NTA can you stay with your family until you find a place?

Sea-Ad9057 − does your MIL know what SIL is expecting from you. .. is there any help options on your side of the family, is moving to a different state...

GreenTravelBadger − NTA they lied to you about helping. See if there are any extended stay hotels in the area,

when I evacuated for a hurricane I found a small hotel where nearly 1/2 of the people staying had been living there for several weeks. We ended up living there...

Faced with eviction, pregnancy, and dwindling savings, the poster drew a line many readers felt was justified. While family support can be lifesaving, it can also come with strings that create long-term harm. Choosing homelessness over an arrangement that feels exploitative is a decision rooted in self-preservation, not pride. In her position, would you accept the offer or keep searching, no matter how hard it gets?

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