AITAH for not wanting to babysit for my brother anymore?

Family should mean support — but what happens when “help” turns into entitlement and constant imposition? One woman has repeatedly told her brother she no longer wants to babysit his young daughters (ages 3 and 7), yet he continues dropping them off unannounced, often at the worst possible times.

The breaking point came when she was literally walking out the door for a night out with friends. Her brother called, already on his way with the kids, and demanded she cancel her plans. She drew a hard line: if he left the children anyway, she would call the police and child services. Now he’s hurt and accusing her of not being “family,” while she stands firm.

‘AITAH for not wanting to babysit for my brother anymore?’

The pattern of unasked-for drop-offs has been going on for some time.

The latest incident happened right as she was leaving for a planned evening out.

This conflict is a classic example of boundary violation disguised as “family help.” The brother treats his sister as an on-call, unpaid babysitter, ignoring her repeated refusals and expecting her to rearrange her life around his needs. His entitlement — showing up unannounced and demanding she cancel plans — disregards her autonomy and turns family support into obligation.

The sister’s threat to involve police and child services is a strong but understandable escalation after years of ignored requests. It signals she’s serious about enforcing boundaries. While extreme, it reflects the frustration of being taken for granted repeatedly.

Family therapist Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab notes that “Boundaries are not punishments; they are protections. When someone repeatedly ignores a ‘no,’ stronger consequences become necessary to preserve safety and respect.” (Set Boundaries, Find Peace, 2021) Here, the brother’s actions have eroded trust, forcing the sister to protect her time and mental space.

Practical steps include blocking his number temporarily, not answering the door if he shows up, and documenting incidents. Informing other family members of the boundary (and her willingness to follow through) prevents guilt-tripping. If he continues, involving authorities may be the only way to stop the pattern. She owes no one free childcare — especially not at the cost of her own life.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The community responded with near-unanimous support, calling the woman NTA and praising her for finally setting a firm boundary after repeated violations. Commenters viewed the brother as deeply entitled and irresponsible, emphasizing that true family help is asked for and consensual — not forced.

Most readers applauded OP for drawing a hard line and threatening to involve police/CPS if needed, emphasizing that she must follow through to make the boundary stick:

Many commenters directly refuted the brother’s “family is supposed to help” argument, stressing that real family support is voluntary, respectful, and never involves demands or ruining someone else’s plans:

A smaller group offered practical tips on how to protect herself going forward (blocking, not answering door, etc.) and asked clarifying questions, but still fully supported her position:

This situation highlights a common family trap: the expectation that “family helps” means one person must sacrifice endlessly without consent. True support is voluntary, respectful, and mutual — not an entitlement to free childcare and ruined plans.

You did nothing wrong by enforcing your boundary. Have you ever been pressured to babysit or help family against your will? Would you follow through with authorities if the pattern continued, or try one final conversation first? How do you handle family members who ignore your “no”?