AITA for telling one of my best friends that she was absolutely not my ex-bf’s type?

A woman still deeply in love with her ex-boyfriend lashed out at one of her closest friends after the friend openly declared her intention to pursue him. The painful breakup was only five months earlier, and the poster had specifically requested a clean break to heal. When her friend joked about dating the ex and then seriously announced plans to do so, the conversation quickly turned ugly.

What makes the story more complicated is that the poster responded with brutally honest—and very personal—comments about why her ex would never be interested. The friend burst into tears, called her names, and later pursued the ex anyway. Now the poster is left questioning her actions while dealing with hurt feelings, lost friendships, and the fresh sting of hearing that her ex actually went to dinner with the friend.

‘AITA for telling one of my best friends that she was absolutely not my ex-bf’s type?’

The pain of the breakup still feels raw for the poster.

My(f32) ex-bf (m35) and I broke up about 5 months ago after 4 years together. He is the most amazing guy and I love him so much. These past months...

He is very handsome and successful and rich (relevant). I’m sure he will not have any problems getting into a new relationship. He broke up with me because we don’t...

He wants children and a family and I don’t. I think we stayed together for so long even though we knew we wanted different, we probably kind of thought we...

I still love him but I don’t know if he still loves me. When we broke up I asked for a clean break. It means no contact because I needed...

Tensions rose when the friend made her intentions clear.

My friends know all this and they know how much I love him. One of my best friends, f28, jokingly said that he was up for grabs a month after...

I thought it was a bad joke. She is very beautiful and she basically can get whoever she wants (she always said that she never been rejected before and I...

I know my ex didn’t really like her because she wants a rich guy and because she had done a lot of plastic surgeries. Last time we had dinner she...

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She laughed it off and I said well you can try. But you are not his type. She said that she never been rejected before and this is where I...

I told her he didn’t like greedy girls with lip injections and fake breasts. She started crying telling me now she won’t feel sorry taking him because I’m a b...

The aftermath brought more heartbreak and betrayal.

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I waited until I was in my car to start crying. I don’t think I’m the AH. She knows I still love him and not over him. Couldn’t she wait...

I know she is panicking because she kept saying that he won’t be single for long. I don’t know. Tell me if I should apologize.

update. Thank you very much for not finding me an AH. My gut feeling was right about this situation then.I talked to a mutual friend today.

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My former best friend has asked my ex for dinner about 2 weeks ago (the same week we hade our fight). She took him to one of my favorite restaurants...

Anyway after the dinner he stopped answering her calls/texts. I don’t know what happened there and why he agreed to having dinner with her and I can’t help but cry...

I know this is juvenile and I ned to let him go but I could stop crying anyway. But I need to work on myself and move on. I love...

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My former best friend is angry with me and have told our mutual friends that I have forbidden him from seeing her and that’s why he didn’t text her back...

I said that this wasn’t true and that I haven’t had any contact with him since I moved out. I don’t know if our friends believe me or her. I...

When everything settles down and everyone moved on, the ones that care about me will stay in my life. The rest, well they’re not worth being sad about losing.

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This situation reveals deep cracks in what was supposed to be a close friendship. At its core, the conflict centers on loyalty and respect during heartbreak. The poster is still grieving a major relationship and clearly communicated her pain to her friends. Most people recognize an unspoken code: friends avoid pursuing a recent ex, especially when the breakup is fresh and one person is struggling to move on. The friend’s decision to joke about it initially, then openly plan to date him, shows a lack of empathy that many view as unforgivable.

The poster’s sharp response crossed into personal insults, but it came from a place of raw hurt after repeated provocation. While the wording was cruel, it stemmed directly from the friend’s own boasts about never being rejected and her known pursuit of wealthy men. Opposing views often focus on delivery rather than intent. Some argue the poster could have simply restated “you’re not his type” without attacking appearance or character, preserving some dignity for both sides. Others see the friend’s actions as so disrespectful that any retaliation feels justified.

The broader social perspective here touches on how quickly “best friends” can turn into competitors when attraction, status, and insecurity collide. In circles where looks, money, and desirability are openly ranked, relationships can feel more transactional than supportive. The poster’s realization that true friends will stay—and the rest aren’t worth the sadness—reflects a painful but mature shift toward protecting her own peace.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many readers rallied behind the poster, calling out the friend’s actions as deeply disloyal and urging her to cut ties without apology.

lbrownlbrown − NTA. She was disrespectful for those comments. Don't apologize because she isn't your friend.

Remazingg − NTA She knew how you felt and still decided to act upon it. You were hurt and told some harsh truths.

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Not all truths need to be voiced, however you did. You should apologise for the hurt feelings you have caused. But ultimately NTA.

Everythingn0w − Obviously it was a mean thing to say but she deserves the hate. She’s the worst kind of friend you can have and you need to dump her....

No_Scientist7086 − NTA - She’s the typical completely insecure type. Cut her out.

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New-Pea-3721 − ESH She sucks for openly trying to go for someone you’re clearly not over. You suck because you insulted her appearance when you could have just left it...

A few commenters took a more measured stance, pointing out mistakes on both sides while still placing the heavier blame on the friend.

Special_Respond7372 − ESH. Her WAY more than you. The way she dismissed 1. The fact that you still love him 2. The unwritten rule that you don’t date your friends...

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3. Your polite and tactful comment that she wasn’t his type just shows her true colors. If she’s full of herself enough to say that she’s never been rejected, she...

[Reddit User] − ESH. You two don’t even sound like you like each other.

nopenothappening99 − NTA. Oh did it hurt her feelings to have her greed called out? If she didn’t know that her hunt for someone to exploit was morally wrong she...

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If she were truly satisfied with the work she’d have done she’d have like been able to just shrugs it of, perhaps with a comment about it looking good no...

She’s clearly got some problems with her body. Possibly because her personality and morality sucks so all she has is looks and she knows it.

Other users lightened the mood with quick, witty takes on the dramatic twist.

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YrACrookCaptainHook − ESH You sound extremely superficial in the way you described your ex and you and your "friends" seem more like frenemies than actual friends who care about each...

If it's true that she's not his type, she'll finally get find out what it's like to be rejected so I'm not sure why you're so worried. However, the way...

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[Reddit User] − I just can’t believe the ages I’m seeing

This story captures the messy overlap of love, loyalty, and ego in adult friendships. The poster spoke from deep pain, the friend acted from confidence mixed with opportunism, and the fallout left damaged trust and a clearer view of who truly matters. In the end, the poster seems ready to focus on healing and letting genuine connections remain.

Have you ever had a friend cross a line with an ex? How did you handle the confrontation? Do you think there’s ever a “right time” for a friend to date someone you still love—or is that boundary unbreakable?

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