AITA for telling my husband I don’t want him spending so much time with his friend anymore?

A 40-year-old woman has enjoyed a solid marriage for 12 years with two kids, but things got tense when husband’s long-lost college pal Mark moved nearby. Mark’s loud, boastful “finance bro” vibe—flashy car, constant money talk, twice-divorced with complaints about his ex shaping their daughter—rubs her wrong.

Husband hangs out 3-4 times a month, coming home energized in a “youthful” way she finds unfamiliar. Worried about bad influence, she asked him to dial it back. He countered that he dislikes her blunt friend Claire but never complains. Now she’s questioning if she’s overstepping.

‘AITA for telling my husband I don’t want him spending so much time with his friend anymore?’

The friendship rekindled recently:

Mark’s personality stands out negatively:

Husband’s hangouts increased:

Friendships in long marriages can spark insecurity, especially with “blast from the past” types evoking younger days. Disliking a partner’s pal is common—differences in values (maturity, boasting) clash—but controlling hangouts risks resentment unless neglect or real harm occurs.

No evidence husband changed negatively or shirked duties; the “carefree” vibe might just refresh him positively. Comparing to her friend Claire highlights hypocrisy—if he tolerates without complaint, reciprocity matters.

Healthy approach: Express feelings (“I feel uneasy when…”) without ultimatums, suggest balance (couple activities), or meet Mark more for own judgment. Therapy aids if insecurity roots deeper. Adults choose friends; trust unless proven otherwise.

Check out how the community responded:

Consensus heavily YTA—seen as controlling, hypocritical, and intolerant of husband’s happiness.

Many call out dismissing his feelings about Claire:

Several stress husband is adult, no bad influence shown:

Others note double standards and creep factor irrelevant:

A few softer takes suggest NAH or communication:

Disliking a spouse’s friend happens, but dictating adult hangouts (especially harmless ones) often backfires as controlling. No red flags like neglect shown—just distaste for the pal’s vibe and husband’s fun mood.

Would you tolerate a partner vetoing your friends? Or is occasional bro time fair game in marriage? Debate below!