AITA for advising my brother in law’s wife to divorce him?
A woman found herself at the center of intense family drama after giving honest advice to her brother-in-law’s wife. When the wife, devastated and in tears, confided that her husband suddenly wanted an open marriage after over a decade together, the poster shared her strong views against it. She encouraged divorce, believing the request signaled deeper issues.
The advice resonated deeply—the wife soon filed for divorce and sought full custody, citing her husband’s absentee parenting. Now, the poster’s in-laws blame her entirely for the breakup, hurling insults and harassment her way. Despite her husband’s full support, the pressure from his family has escalated, leaving her questioning if she overstepped.
‘AITA for advising my brother in law’s wife to divorce him?’
The wife confided in tears that her husband wanted an open marriage, seeking advice on what to do.
The poster shared her belief that open marriages undermine commitment and suspected cheating.
Stacy filed for divorce, and the in-laws now blame the poster, leading to ongoing harassment.
This conflict exposes raw tensions around marriage expectations, loyalty, and family interference. The poster’s advice stems from a traditional view of marriage as exclusive commitment; suggesting an open arrangement after years of monogamy often indicates one partner’s dissatisfaction or existing infidelity. What makes the story more complicated is the brother-in-law’s poor parenting, which strengthens the case for the wife’s pursuit of full custody and independence.
Opposing sides might claim the poster influenced an outcome that wasn’t hers to shape, arguing that private marital decisions deserve neutrality from in-laws. They could see her strong wording as pushing divorce rather than exploring compromise. However, the wife sought guidance while distraught, and adults ultimately make their own choices.
Socially, requests for open marriages frequently precede separation, especially when one spouse is blindsided. Supporting the vulnerable party—here, a devoted mother facing a unilateral change—aligns with prioritizing emotional health and children’s stability over preserving a flawed union.
See what others had to share with OP:
Many users backed the poster fully, stressing the brother-in-law’s actions as the true cause of the divorce.
Several offered pointed ways to handle the harassing in-laws while reinforcing support.
A few highlighted common patterns in open marriage requests with dry wit or realism.
Ultimately, the divorce traces back to the husband’s surprising demand and long-standing neglect, not the poster’s candid opinion when directly asked for advice. Standing by the wife and children drew predictable backlash from in-laws in denial, but it reflects solidarity with someone in pain.
Have you ever given tough relationship advice that caused family uproar? How did you deal with the blame-shifting? Do you think sudden open marriage requests are usually a sign of existing problems, or can they sometimes work if both agree?
