AITA for continuing a tradition my dad started for my brothers but not doing it for my half siblings?

What happens when a special family tradition, born from love and loss, becomes a source of pain for new family members? Many blended families struggle to balance old memories with new bonds, especially when grief and jealousy mix together.

In this case, a teenage girl continues precious memory books that her late father started for her and her brothers. Her stepfather and mother feel it’s unfair that she doesn’t make similar books for her half-sisters. The disagreement has left everyone hurt, raising questions about duty, fairness, and whose role it is to create these kinds of keepsakes.

‘AITA for continuing a tradition my dad started for my brothers but not doing it for my half siblings?’

The story begins with the background of the family and the unique tradition the father created.

My (17f) dad died when I was 8 and my brothers were 5 and 4. Our mom remarried when I was 11 and she has two more kids now, our...

When our dad found out our mom was pregnant with each of us he created these books, one for each of us, where he documented our lives and his thoughts...

Even doodles lol. And he died before he could really do everything with them that he wanted to, so I decided to continue them for my brother.

I would write stuff in there, talk about how dad would have felt, say how proud I was, talk about the milestones in their lives. My brothers love knowing I...

The stepfather first raised the issue years ago and brought it up again later with stronger words.

My stepdad knows about these and was upset that I never started them for my half siblings.

When he first brought it up to me six years ago, when my mom was pregnant with my first half sister, he said it would be a sweet thing to...

I told him I wasn't her parent. I was only doing my brothers because our dad couldn't and he should start one for his daughter if he wanted.

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It came up again with my second half sister and he was a bit more of a d__k about it saying maybe the books should be stopped since he was...

The conflict boiled over recently when the half-sisters overheard a conversation and got upset.

My mom was also a little upset I didn't do it for my half sisters but mostly because I think she knows deep down I am closer to my brothers...

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But anyway, the other night I was showing my brothers my life book and they were asking me about doing it for them and my half sisters overheard, asked about...

Which led my mom and stepdad (please, please, when you respond, please don't call him my dad because I do not consider him a dad to me) to telling me...

He said I was a bully who excludes people. My mom said she never wanted to say much but how did I not think the truth would hurt them eventually.

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I just feel like I'm stuck in crazy town because doesn't it make sense for me to want to continue this for my dad and my brothers? Does it not...

This conflict arises from grief, blended family dynamics, and different expectations around traditions. The teenage girl sees the life books as a sacred continuation of her father’s love for her and her full brothers. Her stepfather and mother view the lack of similar books for the half-sisters as exclusion. The tension grew because the tradition is deeply tied to the late father, making any extension feel like a dilution of its original meaning.

The girl’s actions stem from loyalty to her father’s memory and a protective bond with her brothers. She feels no obligation toward the half-sisters because she is not their parent. The stepfather’s frustration likely comes from insecurity about his place in the family and envy of the special connection the original books represent. The mother appears caught in the middle, wanting harmony but reluctant to challenge her husband. The half-sisters’ hurt is real but rooted in a misunderstanding of the books’ origin.

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Family therapist Dr. Laura Markham has written that “in blended families, honoring each child’s unique history builds security, but forcing identical experiences across different parental relationships often backfires.” This fits perfectly — insisting on the same tradition for children with living parents ignores the grief-driven reason behind the original books.

The family needs clear boundaries and honest talks. The girl should calmly explain the books’ origin to her half-sisters when they’re older. The stepfather could create his own version of keepsakes for his daughters, perhaps inviting the girl to share tips as a gesture of goodwill. Regular family meetings focused on listening rather than blame can help everyone feel seen.

Check out how the community responded:

Social media users overwhelmingly supported the original poster. Most praised her thoughtful continuation of her father’s tradition and firmly placed responsibility on the stepfather. A few noted the half-sisters’ feelings are understandable but still placed no blame on the teenager.

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The majority defended the decision and encouraged protecting the books.

SnowFallenMemories − NTA. . I told him I wasn't her parent. I was only doing my brothers because our dad couldn't and he should start one for his daughter if...

This is why you're nta. If he really wanted his daughters to have one he should have have made them one.

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Laramila − I told him I wasn't her parent. I was only doing my brothers because our dad couldn't and he should start one for his daughter if he wanted.

Tell your sisters this, and point out that as their parents, your mother or sf could have and should have but chose not to. You are not the parent. NTA.

ICWhatsNUrP − NTA. Your half siblings have your stepdad, he just can't be bothered to do the work something like this entails. Every time they try and guilt trip you,...

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"The tradition is the child's dad does the book for them. I stepped up for my brothers because dad passed. Half siblings have a dad, why haven't you picked up...

Flippn_Freddy − What you are doing for your brothers is truly loving and a very great way to keep the memory of your dad in all your lives.

These books were meant to be a gift from your father, im sorry hes not here to watch you 3 grow, but you are simply finishing them up and putting...

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Your step parent has no grounds to tell you no to continue these books or try to force you to make one for your half siblings. Hes still abled bodied...

Many commenters highlighted the stepfather’s behavior and advised strong boundaries.

QueenofKrabs − NTA, they don't get to bond with you over memories of your real father. F__k that noise. They are in crazytown

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ProfessionalNinja967 − NTA - I'm a 41 yr old mom, dunno if that makes my opinion worth anything haha. Step dad should have started books himself & COULD have asked...

You're absolutely correct - THEY are the parents. Sounds to me like he is a little jealous of your father's ingenuity & love for his boys.

Bookish4269 − It totally makes sense why you are doing what you are doing. NTA. Those life books were started by your dad, not you. You are just carrying through...

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WiseBat − NTA, and your stepdad sounds like a piece of work. What kind of AH actually says "he's their dad now and it should be his thoughts that matter"?...

Seriously, hide those books - take them with you everywhere or find a deposit box for them because I don't doubt your stepdad will take the first opportunity to get...

Careless_Mango − NTA. Put the books in a safe place. Maybe scan them or take photos of each page in case your step dad purposefully takes them or damages them....

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A smaller group acknowledged the half-sisters’ hurt while still supporting the poster.

Macarani925 − I definitely understand your half sisters being hurt/upset about that, but as you said, you aren't their father and if their father is so upset about it, he...

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This story reminds us that grief-driven traditions carry deep personal meaning and cannot always be extended without losing their essence. The girl’s choice honors her father and strengthens her bond with her brothers. While the half-sisters’ feelings are valid, the responsibility for creating similar memories rests with their own parents, not a teenager.

Have you ever felt torn between honoring past family memories and keeping peace in a blended family? If a special tradition from one parent couldn’t be replicated for new siblings, how would you handle the hurt feelings that follow?

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