AITA if I put my sons father on child support?

A single mother has been raising her two-year-old son almost entirely on her own, receiving minimal financial help and even less reliable parenting time from the child’s father. After repeated broken promises about weekend visits and accusations that she’s misusing money, she decided to file for formal child support through the courts—prompting the father to explode, curse her out, and threaten to quit his job.

This escalating conflict reveals the frustration many single parents face when trying informal arrangements that repeatedly fail. What started as an attempt to encourage involvement has turned into a necessary legal step, leaving the mom questioning if pursuing child support makes her the villain in this already strained co-parenting situation.

‘AITA if I put my sons father on child support?’

A young mother has single-handedly provided for her toddler while receiving sporadic, minimal help from his father.

So I'm a first time mom to a wonderful little boy (2). His father and I haven't been together since before he was born. We had a falling out, and...

That's a different story though. So in the span of two years my sons father has given me $600, two boxes of diapers, a box of wipes, and a bag...

I've always made sure my son was taken care of. I never asked or bothered him for anything unless I genuinely needed it.

Efforts to involve the father in parenting fell flat, causing reliability issues and job risks for the mother.

I told him I wanted him to start spending time with his son. He said he would take him on weekends. Well the weekends came and he never showed.

It's happened multiple times and it's jeopardized my job. I've reached out and told him that it was unacceptable to ignore his duties as a parent. He never once said...

If he did, then I would let that happen. Everything came to a boil this last week, when I asked him for some money to buy my son more clothes.

He told me he feel like I'm spending the money on other things, and he no longer is going to give me anything. Instead he's just going to buy whatever...

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I told him I was offended that he would say that since I've given up so much for our son. I told him that by law if he didn't want...

The situation exploded when she announced plans to file for court-ordered support, leading to threats and accusations.

Well it was his turn to take the baby and he ignored me. Went half the week without responding and then said, I'll give you $300 and take him on...

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Stop trippin already. I will admit I was irritated with him. I responded back that that wasn't my issue. I work as well and still manage to take care of...

I'm done trying to make this work with you. I'm filing with the courts so this way there's no more issues for us. Well that sent him off the deep...

and then told me he was going to quit his job so the baby wouldn't get anything. I told him to do what he felt was best, but I'm going...

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This case highlights the challenges single parents face when informal co-parenting arrangements break down due to one parent’s inconsistency. The mother has shouldered nearly all financial and caregiving responsibilities, while the father’s minimal contributions and unreliable visitation have created instability. What makes the story more complicated is the emotional toll of repeatedly pushing for involvement only to face accusations and threats when seeking legal structure.

Opposing perspectives might argue that forcing involvement through court could strain relationships further, or that the mother should accept the father’s limited role without financial demands. However, the broader social view recognizes that children have a legal right to support from both parents, regardless of relationship status. Courts exist precisely to enforce fair contributions and clear custody terms when voluntary cooperation fails.

Pursuing child support isn’t punishment—it’s ensuring the child’s needs are met consistently. The father’s threats to quit his job often backfire, as courts can impute income based on earning potential. This approach protects the child long-term, allowing the primary parent to plan reliably while reducing ongoing conflict over money and time.

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Check out how the community responded:

Most users strongly supported the mother’s decision to file for child support, stressing the child’s rights and the father’s obligations.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Also if he quits his job, that doesn’t mean he won’t owe child support. I knew this guy who took a huge pay cut changing jobs,...

He was ordered to pay based off his ability to earn the higher wage. You’re not doing anything to anybody. If he did what he said he would, you wouldn’t...

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[Reddit User] − NTA. His child. Bare minimum is to pay his financial obligations.

IllustriousComplex6 − Edit: NTA (thanks for clarifying below) He's very obviously an AH because he is absent and can't even be bothered to contribute the bare minimum. TBH you should...

greeneyesblackhearts − NTA, your child has a legal rigut to support from both parents. If you have to go to court to get it, do what you need to do...

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MollyRolls − NTA; you should’ve done it 2 years ago. Your child is entitled to financial support from both parents, and you’ve been complicit in denying him that up until...

Two involved parents is the ideal scenario, but being reluctantly cared for by someone who had his arm twisted into doing it is not in your child’s best interest.

Foster as much of a relationship as your ex is willing to participate in, and use his court-ordered child support to hire a sitter when you need some time to...

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jacquilynne − NTA. Family court exists to solve these kinds of disputes. If anything, you should have done this sooner.

Some commenters provided practical advice alongside support, urging her to stop relying on unreliable promises.

megm0ney − So in my situation, I am in Florida, they came up with a number for my child’s father to pay if he had been making minimum wage,

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and he will have to pay that if he has a job or not, if he doesn’t have a job or doesn’t pay it, it goes to back pay. If...

Eventually law enforcement gets involved. If you’re not asking for assistance, the government can give two shits if he pays it or not but it still goes to back pay....

ToTwoTooToo − NTA Take him to court and get custody and child support spelled out, but don't expect to ever see any money or caregiving from your ex. He's already...

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Believe him. In the meantime do what you need to do to be a good parent on your own. Don't keep putting your child in the middle of "you get...

Daddy is not going to show up, you're going to be pissed, and baby is learning to read your mood and grow up in a less than healthy atmosphere.

You have to make some hard decisions to live without that help that is never going to come, and be happier for doing so. Ask dependable friends and/or family to...

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Perhaps offer trades or bartering with them. Try to change work shifts or jobs if necessary. Get creative, but keep that child in the best possible scenario you can.

A couple of responses offered contrasting or additional real-life insights, with one questioning the push for visitation.

Rastavaray − I’m going to go against the grain and say YTA. You should have had a custody agreement the whole time.

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But the real question is why you keep trying to give your child to someone that clearly doesn’t want him. He may not have said that he doesn’t want to...

but it doesn’t sound like he’s said that he wants to be involved. If he finally ever takes him are you also going to be mad that he’s neglectful even...

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pocahontski − NTA. Take him to court, and make him pay. He literally, LITERALLY owes you.

The overwhelming consensus affirms that the mother is well within her rights—and doing what’s best for her son—by seeking formal child support after years of minimal, unreliable help. Legal intervention provides structure where informal efforts failed, protecting both finances and emotional stability.

Have you ever had to pursue child support or deal with an unreliable co-parent? Did going through the courts help or complicate things further? Share your experiences and advice in the comments!

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