AITA for making my sick bf stay at his moms?

A young woman reached her breaking point when her boyfriend’s cannabis habit triggered yet another debilitating episode of illness. Living together, she’s been forced to sacrifice sleep, work readiness, and peace whenever he gets sick from smoking. After warning him that the next episode would mean staying at his mom’s, she followed through—and sparked backlash from both him and his mother.

The core issue revolves around boundaries in a relationship strained by addiction. At just 21, she’s juggling a job and a partner whose refusal to quit weed leads to weekly vomiting fits. Her decision to enforce consequences highlights the toll of loving someone who repeatedly chooses a harmful habit over shared well-being.

‘AITA for making my sick bf stay at his moms?’

The couple’s relationship has been repeatedly disrupted by the boyfriend’s condition.

His episodes worsened over time, pushing her to set a clear boundary.

When he smoked and fell ill anyway, she enforced the rule and drove him over.

This situation illustrates the emotional exhaustion that comes with supporting a partner through substance-related health issues. Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) is a real condition tied to chronic heavy cannabis use, causing severe nausea and vomiting that only resolves with cessation. The boyfriend’s continued smoking despite predictable consequences shows the power of addiction overriding self-care and consideration for others.

What makes the story more complicated is the girlfriend’s enforcement of a boundary without fully coordinating with his mother, which shifted some caregiving responsibility unexpectedly. While her action protected her own sleep and mental health—essential for someone working full-time—it inadvertently created tension with family. Critics might say she overstepped by “evicting” him during illness, yet supporters argue that repeatedly sacrificing personal well-being enables the addiction rather than encouraging change.

From a broader perspective, young adults in relationships involving addiction often face pressure to stay out of loyalty or hope for recovery. Society tends to romanticize “standing by” partners through hardship, but this can trap people in caretaker roles at the expense of their own growth. Her choice reflects a growing recognition that boundaries are not punishment—they’re self-preservation, especially when the alternative is burnout or resentment.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Most users strongly backed the girlfriend, urging her to prioritize herself and even end the relationship.

A few commenters offered nuance, acknowledging her boundary while suggesting better ways to handle it.

Others kept it light or practical, warning about fallout while still supporting her stance.

The online community largely declared the young woman not the asshole, praising her for setting boundaries while overwhelmingly advising her to leave the relationship due to the boyfriend’s unwillingness to quit. Many saw her action as a reasonable step to protect her own health and sleep amid his self-inflicted cycles.

Have you ever had to enforce a tough boundary with a partner struggling with addiction? At what point does supporting someone cross into enabling? Would you stay and hope for change, or walk away early—share your experiences below.